To see a medium

Just to try to prove that it's quite easy to cold read people, I'll have a go. You live in Australia, you're late 50s and fond of horses.

This is all complete guesswork - you used the word "totalled" with two Ls which is Australian slang and not commonly used in UK or US. Red cars have never been common in Australia. A quick google suggests that your username is an Australian horse but from 2006 and that combined with the way you write leads me to think you are late 50s. If I was on the phone to you I would be able to tell from your voice if I was on the right track.

Don't waste your money OP. Take care of yourself and I hope you receive signs soon.

I'm sorry for your loss OP. I understand the desperate need for contact. My mum and DD died within a few months of each other and I was absolutely desperate for some sort of sign. My mum had always been fascinated by mediums and we enjoyed watching programmes together and I was convinced she would contact me somehow, hopefully to say she had my DD with her.

I spent a lot of money on mediums, an embarrassing amount. I went to see the man who was apparently instrumental in finding the bodies after a highly publicised murder by a caretaker. I visited my mum's favourite celebrity medium and a range of others. I have never felt so empty and bereft after seeing these people and realising that it's not actually real. My mum wouldn't have given me the pointless messages they tried to pass off as her.

A couple of years afterwards I took a tarot card course and medium training to get my head around how people are able to do it. I could still confidently read your tarot cards and make you think I had psychic abilities, which I don't.

I do believe in mediums, obviously there are a lot of frauds but I believe there are a small number of genuine ones amongst the frauds.

But this is too soon, he has gone from this life now and you need to work through that first and foremost.

Exactly. The anger is (entirely justifiably) aimed at despicable con artists preying on the bereaved, not at the vulnerable who are understandably desperate for comfort.

I’m so sorry for your loss, OP, but don’t even contemplate this.

I'm very sorry for your loss, op.
I felt as though I had to sit on my hands after my mum died, to prevent myself from calling a medium.
I was lucky, I had a lovely dream a few months after she passed.
I choose to interpret certain things as "signs" (a specific number, a certain phrase, a flag, that sort of thing) because they remind me of her, and I'll think "oh, hi mum!". They are probably coincidences but what's the harm if its comforting.

If you do decide to go to a spiritualist church, I'd suggest sitting near the front, because if you're at the back, everyone can turn round and look at you!

OP, in your present state of grief you are ripe for exploitation. Don't see a medium. If your dad wanted to and was able to send you a sign (without opening up a debate on whether this is possible) then he would send you one directly - why would he go through a random fee-charging person?

Op i agree that there are some meduims who give generic answers.
if you see one do a lot of research
the one i saw did not advertise and i only gave her £20 for 1.5 ish hours .

she told me dad was present by naming a very unusual gift i have him just before he died . No one else knew about this gift. I cd give people hundreds of guesses and they would not guess.
She also named a spefic singer who we talked about at one of out last conversations.the singer was someone not current at all .

I've been to a Derren Brown gig, where he picked someone out the audience randomly and proceeded to tell her about her ded grandma and told her things nobody else could have possibly known.

This was from cold reading her and he kept reminding us all the way through that this was just a trick and the mediums were scammers.

If someone truly had a special gift that meant they could communicate with the dead, why would you say to someone in need, well I could give you some comfort, but you need to cross my palm with silver first.

It seems very cruel.

I've looked it up and Darren Brown said he used the same method as clairvoyants, that of cold reading. I remember in the theatre that one person cried as he brought up fairly accurate details of their deceased relative.

I've also seen Derek Acorah at the theatre, in Manchester around 20 years ago! 😀 Need I say more there.

It's not real. I couldn't say that to my mother and sister at the time, as they seemed comforted, but I can say it here, as can others.

A few years ago at the theatre (he may have done a seance on TV too, but that's where I first saw it) Derek Brown did a medium 'turn' and managed to do readings from dead relatives for people in the audience. He's very good at reading people as we know and I think that's the explanation he gave as to how he did it.

I'm so sorry for your loss @DespairingandDesperate** I know how incredibly difficult it is.
I haven't personally been to a medium or whatever but I know people who have. A friend's daughter lives up north and she goes to medium evenings and has been very moved. They only ask for a couple of pounds. I'd be wary of going to one that charges a lot but I can understand why people do.
As others have said, take it easy and see how you feel going forward. The dragonfly story is beautiful. Take care

Utter bollocks. I have as much right as to tell someone that two plus two does not equal five. It's really that simple.
"Millions of people" believe that war is a great way to resolve disputes. That women should not get an education. That they should be mutilated as children. Etc etc etc. Wrong and harmful.

But it isn't real. Someone offered to train my mother (a nurse) to become a medium because she was very intuitive and good at reading people. My mother didn't take them up on the offer because she was horrified at the thought of taking advantage of bereaved people to make money. It is not real.

@BestGirl88 Isn't amazing that these YouTube mediums 'blessed with this gift ' also manage to monetrize their so called 'gifts' and be the pushiest loud Ameicans preying on the vulnerable.

There are no messages, I have lost people, I have called and asked for signs. There are no signs. This is 2023. We have the technology should it be so.

Your loved one is in your heart and memories, dreams.

These people are vultures.

To you maybe.

But to millions of others, it is.

Don't tell people what to think. You don't have that right.

I think we just operate at different frequencies, so it's not an easy job for the "dead" to pick up the phone and communicate from the other world.
I believe there are people very much attuned and able to connect but they are rare, not run of the mill, stage mediums. I wouldn't even trust a spiritualist church to be honest OP. I've been to a couple of their events, the so called mediums were very hit and miss, a lot of "grandmas" coming through and information that no one in the audience could relate to.
If you do meet a real medium or clairvoyant though, you would know - there'll be no mixed or generic messages. But as others have said, don't waste your money. Your energy will be better spent on doing something yourself too - you can send love and prayers, do something in his honour, bring back memories, read his favorite book.

@chergar ❤️

I also asked my dad to come to me or give me a sign .
this did not happen for me .
it’s normal to so wish this
.
take care of y self and take things a day at a time .. even though i totally understand it feels like you need it now x

Its not been long , but i so recognise the urge for contact.
i saw a medium who didnt advertise .she told me that he said to her to tell me about a very spefic object . It was unusual . No one else knew about it . It gave me great comfort . There is no way she could have guessed it .
i hope you get comfort from this too for now and when the time is right you do the best thing for you
sending love

I'm sorry for your loss, OP. I would give it time.

I don't know about mediums. I think some are good at reading people perhaps. I don't believe they're conversing with the dead. My relative went to see one and was told a load of old, vague rubbish about our mutual relative. I didn't say anything to them, as they had clearly bought into it, but I felt cross.

I like that @chergar

I'm sorry, OP, I should have led with condolences. It's a huge loss. I think some of the more scathing responses here are because of that. It's foul to cheat a bereaved person into parting with their money for a bogus message.