What's hard about your relationship?

Yes, I agree with this.
my life is better and easier in all aspects because of DH. I could cope / survive without him if I had to, but my god things would be hard.

The good stuff:
I feel cherished
i feel desired
he has my back all the time
i know I am a priority

the hard stuff
trust and suspicion (my issues but not entirely without a backstory)
effective communication when we both have very different views

my life is enriched 100 fold by my relationship but it’s by no means perfect

I don’t find our relationship hard at all.

I find parenting very hard - I love DC immeasurably but very hard work - and this can impact on us as a couple sometimes.

so I guess I find things like ensuring we have time alone, child free, difficult at times.

Different standards of cleanliness and organisation. Drives me fucking murderous.

The constant presence and needs of the kids. The guilt which comes with feeling that.

And pf course the in-laws.

Mine isn’t hard. My life is easier in every way because of my husband. I see so many people in relationships which make their lives harder, where they have to compromise endlessly on things that are important to them, and I wonder if it’s worth it for them.

Everything. Absolutely everything

Alot of people who live alone are lonely.
There's plus sides of having a relationship.

Company
Someone to share the load
Someone to help you when your ill
Somebody to run problems by. Two heads are better than one as they say.
More income.
Someone to go on holiday with etc.
So.eone who's got your back.

Why did he have to get what he liked every evening?

Today it's having someone banging and crashing about the house when I just want to read my book/nap/drink tea in peace on one of very few days a year when I don't have to do anything, and am still recovering from a virus. Absolutely no consideration for me, and an immediate sulk when I suggested he went out.

I've been fantasising today about waking up in the apartment I lived in when I was single, blissfully alone (and back in an interesting city instead of a small town in the middle of nowhere!)

Bearing moaned at that the house is a mess. Even if things are put away. When I ask what the solution should be he’s stumped. So that’s died down a bit now.

Asking for things to be done and days later they’re still not done. Meaning I should have just got in and done it in the first place.

at the moment. The whole fucking thing. I could gladly walk out and leave DH and DD to their utterly selfish ways.

I wouldn't say my relationship is hard. Having children is hard as there's a lot of work associated with that, and without DH I wouldn't have had more children. But in general he makes my life easier not harder.

I think hmm the most annoying thing is when someone moves things around and you'd put them somewhere specific for a reason. They aren't aware of that so they don't know.

And when I buy stuff to share and he has more than half. (Though doesn't happen that often and I can just say and he'll leave it alone).

And sometimes he cooks smelly food like fried fatty meat, this drives me mad.

But he's alright really 😁

Having to bear in mind someone else’s needs on top of your own.

Christmases we’re exhausting and expensive. I’ve now spent that time and money on myself, clothing delivered to my home… and some delicious M&S bites for one.

It’s nice to have rest.

I would do it for someone who loves me, but never ever again for selfish critical oafs.

My IL's are nightmares honestly snd he works a lot, but he's worth it! I adore the bones of him and our little family.

In answer to your question - what I find hard is communication. Having to explain things, hoping you don't need to explain things, expecting explanations that never come. Misjudging and misreading. Feeling like we don't really get each other deep down. Lots of stuff is great: support, trust, loyalty, humour, mutual admiration, tolerance, etc. But I think it's down to coincidence rather than good communication when things work out well.

I like having my own space so it's been difficult sharing a home with another person. But pre-dc I wfh so at least I had the house to myself while DH was out during office hours. I think if I lived alone and with no dc I'd probably have some lazier dinners, whereas once I lived with DH we'd have more proper meals every night (which is definitely healthier but sometimes I miss trashy food).

We had dcs after quite a few years of living together, and I didn't worry too much about carrying the mental load or doing all the housekeeping before having dc. I did what I wanted most evenings. Now I do have the responsibility for 2 young dcs, and I'm a sahm (my preference) so most of it falls to me. But you don't have to have dc just because you're in a relationship, so all of that stuff needn't be an issue if there are no dcs to worry about.

Its this time of the year i see and hear of more breakups and divorces.

Genuinely, nothing is hard about my relationship so far. We won’t be getting married or having kids though (through choice). I was happily single and planning to remain so but happened to meet him and he slotted perfectly into my life. I haven’t had to make any compromises at all. He does all the cooking too! If it stops feeling so easy and natural then I’ll happily return to being single.

Agreed, i have had the same conversation repeatedly with friends in relationships with children.

The hardest part of my relationship was having one.
The best part was ending it now been happy single for 6 years.
Blissful.

@MrsNandortheRelentless
Think this sums up what it is like for most married women I know.

Not having enough “me” time.
Having to compromise
A difficult ex (his side)

I don't think I appreciated it enough when I was single.
I love solitude. I don't like other people being in my space. I have a constant bad back from having to share a bed. I don't like the food my husband cooks . My husband annoys me so much most of the time.
I can totally understand the feeling of freedom the op gets from being single.

I Sometimes feel envious of old people who live alone . I don't want to end my marriage but I don't want to spend the rest of my life with another person.

I've found it therapeutic to type that out .

I could cook if I wanted to, not if I couldn’t be bothered before, now I have to cook to feed people who need feeding. I don’t have a choice.

They all have personal food likes and dislikes so it’s never ever straight forward. I have all of these things to consider… every meal time.