To think I’m autistic, aren’t I?

@randomusername2020 i agree entirely, sometimes these threads are suggesting that an ASD diagnosis is defined & boundaried in ways that they can never be, because ultimately it relies on a clinician's opinion rather than fact . In an old-fashioned, male-dominated society many of the people currently getting ASD diagnosis would never be actually diagnosed because certain traits are so common amongst men; as our society has come to value soft skills more the balance has shifted, hence also why perhaps more ASD women are being diagnosed. We previously just accepted certain personalities or behaviours as part of the range of "normal" in human society, although perhaps that person may be labelled eccentric. Currently ASD & ADHD diagnosis both come down to whether or not those traits are problematic enough to cause that person difficulties in functioning. The genetics within families can be obvious producing both people who have received a diagnosis and people who have different numbers of traits (mine included where both ADHD and ASD are in different families members with a number of us a bit "this and that" who'd never receive a diagnosis).

Well the first one was clearly incompetent and has no understanding of adhd so not sure what your point is .

That sounds really tough, OP.
I have sensory processing disorder, but luckily for me, noises aren't too loud or anything, it's just an energy zapper. Be kind and tolerant to yourself xxx

OP - you sound like me. Diagnosed with autism and ADHD in very recent years. I'm in my 50s. The absolute validation I got was mind-blowing. I've become much kinder to myself and as a result, I no longer mask at all. I've had no negativity for this either.

I'm now able to live the life I need to, rather than the one I thought I should. That's big.

That's the problem with trying to diagnose a physical difference in the brain through clinical means.

However, there is a line - and it's defined in the DSM V. If you want to avoid the heavily psychiatry-speak definition in the DSM, Sam has a fantastic video here explaining it (this is also a great way for those on the "Am I/aren't I?" journey to get a bit of clarity):

@EilonwyWithRedGoldHair thats what I’m saying. It’s such a wide spectrum it’s impossible not to identify with at least one or two (but more likely a few) traits/symptoms/habits/ train of thoughts. It obviously doesn’t mean everyone will be diagnosed.

🤦‍♀️

It's an interesting question though, as the line has to be drawn somewhere.

DS has been diagnosed, and I see so much of myself in him - it was suggested I be referred for assessment so I filled in the form. I suspect I won't meet the threshold for diagnosis but who knows...

This is a common misconception. Because autistic people have difficulties communicating their experiences to others it is assumed they lack imagination, it's quite the opposite. The autism community is full of creatives! You're confusing social imagination with imagination.

Autism is a diagnosis, not a label.

OP you do sound to me like someone who may well be autistic.

I am also autistic and you have misunderstood.

Not everyone has traits of autism.

OP, it might be worth asking for this to be moved to the board for neurodivergent mumsnetters (under the special needs section) or posting in there too..... AIBU can be a brutal place and by no means everybody here is well-informed about autism, mirroring the real world of course.... there are still a vast number of stereotypes about.

I was diagnosed as an adult after seeing strong traits in my children and realising it so clearly came from me (and also explained so much of my life.....) One child has subsequently been diagnosed (which has made a massive difference for them already due to a shift in attitude by school staff and a willingness to finally put more support in place....) I suspect my second child will eventually be diagnosed as well.

Diagnosis has had a huge positive impact for me personally. Since childhood I have internalised so many negative messages about myself, and I couldn't understand the overwhelm, the meltdowns, the sensory struggles, the social awkwardness, the all-consuming obsessions, the struggles with change and so many seemingly very simple things when I am so high-achieving in other areas.... just being able to understand why has already been so helpful and has vastly improved my mental wellbeing (and probably saved my marriage!)

I hope that you are able to gain similar understanding of yourself by exploring it further..... Merry Christmas!

Hi @Youcanonlyask - I could have written your post word for word and understand completely.

Please ignore the bitching going on from others on your post.

I've just been diagnosed aged 47 and it's been really life changing and affirming. I had to go private as the GP was one of the "but you speak in long sentences and are so eloquent so you can't possibly be autistic" types.

It's taken 6 years to get here but it's been worth it. I have literally no friends, no clue about social norms, totally overshare, mask extensively, melt down and shut down over sensory things, am very academic and prefer my own company to that of others, except for family. As my whole family are like this it took a while (and several broken relationships and friendships) to realise that this wasn't actually normal, although it was normal to me.

Please explore options for diagnosis and I hope you can get some answers and some peace of mind.

Sending peace and love for Christmas
💐💐

And I’ve been living it. Patronising wasn’t intentional, sorry you feel that way. Happy to answer any questions if you want to learn.

I know how it works thanks. Please don’t patronise me. I have been reading and thinking about this for a long time.

… apart from you, no-one has on here. It’s a different calibre of thread.

Ah here they come! Have a look at the other threads. There’s one about a woman thinking she’s getting a marriage proposal today and half of them are rubbishing the proposal style. It IS daft and thoughtless. You belong over there.

What about the people who have say 70 pieces though? Or even 60? I feel like I'm in that category (also have diagnosed children and close family members including a parent). I'm not really "normal" (allistic) but I'm not sure I'd quite reach the autism threshold either. I don't really fit in anywhere.

Lindy2
Children are diagnosed under different services to adults. Adults who have gone undiagnosed for years are just as deserving of a diagnosis..

yesyouareyouare · Yesterday 23:20
No autistsitic people do not have real difficulties with imagination. Another stereotype inaccuracy like a lack of empathy.

Go and get a diagnosis op. It’s life changing. Difficulties increase as you get older in my experience. I got mine at 55. All 3 of my children are autistic. We all present very differently.

We have separate mental health services for children and adults (in the UK anyway) so I would assume the waiting lists for diagnosis are also separate. I’m autistic.

OP, I wouldn’t bother going for a diagnosis if the only reason is you feel you ‘should’ go. You don’t have to do anything.

However, if you feel would benefit from understanding this part of yourself better then go for it. Ignore the poster who has implied you’d be taking up resources; you are just as worthy of a diagnosis as anyone else. It may bring you closure, a sense of clarity, coping skills and strategies etc. It can be hard to apply these unless you know for certain what it is you are dealing with.

Incidentally, quite a bit of what you’ve described reminds me of a good friend of mine (except she got a giant slide installed whilst ignoring her ageing kitchen set up). She has an ADHD diagnosis and lack of structure is her one big regret with her now grown kids (even though she’s an excellent mum and they are lovely humans). It might be worth exploring, there is a lot of overlap of symptoms and co morbidity