Is this pregnancy discrimination?

Totally reasonable

No, it’s been empathetic to the other patients. When my DD was 18 months old I had to go into hospital for a D&C following MC. My DH couldn’t come with me as he had DD with him and they wouldn’t let her in out of concern for the mental health if patients who had been struggling after multiple MCs. This is the same.

They are the experts. Assuming that this is a well thought out policy, by people who know what they are doing, YABU.

I'm not sure if it's discrimination or not legally. If it's not then it sounds like a sensitive policy. I had 9 rounds of ivf and if I'd seen small children in the waiting room I wouldn't have been that upset. People have lives and childcare issues. However, if I'd seen a woman with a bump I would have found that extremely upsetting. It's the bump that just seems so damn unattainable and it's very tough to deal with.

Discrimination or not, you’d have to have a very short memory or just be a bit stupid to not understand why it’s inappropriate to sit in the waiting room at a fertility clinic heavily pregnant. That’s the last thing I’d have wanted to see whilst I was waiting for my appointments.

But why seek it out? Last person l know who got 2 under 2 deliberately, went on and on and on about it so it was very wearing. She actually was aiming for 2 under 1 so logically would have moaned ever more had that happened

Mind you, the couple is this situation might have 2 under 1 as technically they don’t have any fertility issues. We didn’t seek out twins, it’s just what happened to us

No its not. Surely as a couple with fertility issues they cwmnunderstqnd how gut wrenching it is to see pregnant women and children. Even more so when you are extremely vulnerable on a fertility clinic

What is the official waiting time between children? Are all parents with 2 under 1 selfish?

Maybe they should focus on the child they are having and not their wish to have another so soon. They sound selfish.

I would have thought it discrimination to be unable to access a service, not a waiting room.

By all means they can write to the practice manager, threaten legal action, get an exception and sit triumphantly in the waiting room whilst women whose hearts are breaking watch them in the one place they’d hope to be free
from it. Or, of course, the clinic will simply ban all partners to get around this.

YABU, it's not an unreasonable policy and as a grown woman A is likely perfectly capable of attending clinical appointments by herself. I've been through fertility treatment and other than when it was essential for him to be there, there was no need for DH to come in to the waiting area. If A feels like she wants a bit of support from B pre- or post- appointments, they could easily do this outside the clinic instead.

Oh I remember being in the local
epu and feeling like a right arsehole sat there with women losing their babies with my toddler. Even whilst I was loosing my own pregnancy I still felt an arse and had zero childcare as it was an emergency situation.

So although I guess maybe they could try and say it was, it wouldn’t make them less of an arse. Those losing babies or trying desperately for babies know just how hard it is so it is a completely lack of empathy. If theirs is zero other option that’s one thing but honestly she doesn’t Need to have her pregnant wife in there she just wants her there.

I just can’t imagine rocking up to a fertility clinic with women desperately wanting babies to find a pregnant women with her wife trying for a second while ones visibly pregnant without feeling a slap in the face to those trying to even get a first tbh.

They are being very unreasonable. It’s not discrimination,‘it’s a sensible and sensitive policy. They should go elsewhere if they don’t like it.

But again, I'll reiterate; with how much struggle and how long it's been for me and DH, I couldn't give a crap anymore. Some couples are lucky, some couples aren't. That's just the way it is. Maybe we'll get lucky eventually, maybe we won't and we'll just get a dog instead. Who knows? (I've just had a huge Christmas dinner and I'm fighting heavy eyes).

It doesn't upset me more. I think you've misinterpreted what I said.

It doesn't matter the sexual orientation. Pregnant lesbians, pregnant straight women, gay men collecting newborns from a surrogate etc it annoys me because I'm still struggling with infertility. I did only mention a lesbian couple because that is what the OP was about.

It's not discrimination. It's the clinic's rules in order to keep upset to the absolute minimum. Not being able to have a baby while also seeing a big round baby bump in the waiting room hurts like hell. I'm currently dealing with RPOC as a complication from an early loss, I don't want to see the OP's friend's wife with her massive baby bump.

Mine had kids and pregnant women in the waiting room. It never occurred to me to care.

Same when I went for my scan and was told about likely having a baby with a disability, and when I had an emergency scan etc because of low growth and heavy bleeding.

No one has the monopoly on having infertility problems, pregnancy, having children etc- it’s impossible to avoid it.

My sister had two healthy children in the period I was having failed ivf etc. it’s just one of those things.

Wtf? What difference does it make that they are gay?!

Why does a pregnant lesbian upset you more that a pregnant straight woman?

It’s interesting how different the clinics are. My IVF clinic lets babies / young children in too, I understand it can be triggering but also people have different circumstances/relationships/no childcare.

total would get if the couple would both want to be there for a early pregnancy /viability scan. You can’t take children into the building where the nhs 12 week scan is in my city, so the partner would probably want to see the baby at the early ivf one if possible!

It's not discrimination. If I saw a lesbian couple in the waiting room at my clinic and one woman in the couple was visibily pregnant, I wouldn't be happy.

Although in my case I've been on this journey a good while and I'd do better to ignore you by watching the cringefest that is daytime TV.

Bumps and babies are everywhere. I'm straight and in a heterosexual relationship and married. We don't care that much anymore now. If I'd seen this post last year, then I probably would have been a few degrees of Krakatoa pissed.

YABU imo. One of the hardest parts when I had multiple miscarriages was having to sit in the waiting room for the doctor surrounded by visibly pregnant, happy women. It made it much harder at the time.

Presumably they would cope like you do, and the millions of other parents who have 2 under 2.

Should we not be questioning why we thought that was a good idea not encouraging it. OP is the mum even showing I didn't show until 30 weeks and even then could have passed it off as having gained weight if I wore a baggy top. I was a size 8 pre pregnancy and a size 12 at delivery

(I also think the idea that it’s essential for them both to give birth to children is a bit weird, as it suggests more of an interest in pregnancy than in actual parenthood, but that’s another conversation.)

if it’s weird to want a biological child or weird for a woman to want to be pregnant, it would apply to all couples who have their own biological children instead of adopting.

Maybe they should do what other couples do and just aim for one pregnancy at a time whilst undergoing fertility treatment? Slightly reminds of the gay men wanting several children through surrogacy at the same time.