I trashed the house

op sit down with a cuppa right now.
do a list of exactly what needs done and what can be left
do you have grandparents nearby? if so drop the kids off there for a few hours
apologise to your eldest, its not their fault
get dh up n off doing jobs
you need to calm down and have a rest
cancel the hosting its too much

Has he always been lazy or is this New? If he's always been lazy this should've been taken into consideration before expanding your family. It's not fair on you. you'll end up having a breakdown unless he pulls his weight. It's not your teenagers fault it is your husbands

"do you work?" why on Earth are you asking this @SusanKennedyshouldLTB ?????

No ones getting into a debate about it. We see it differently.

Whats work got to do with it

Another poster asked the OP if she worked.

we all lose it sometimes - there is a LOT on your plate

What’s work got to do with anything? Of course we will have agree to disagree.

i wasn’t the one that decided they wanted to get a debate about it

Get that lump up and out of his bed. Have a quick family meeting. Delegate the tidying up - no questions asked.

leave the children with your DJ
go into town or your local shops and buy yourself an outfit new pants and all.

cancel the guests if you can or they can take you as they find you.

The issue isn’t Christmas, the issue is a man and a teen who do fuck all and expect OP to skivvy for them.

That is a 365 days a year problem, not a Christmas problem.

If the teen is as lazy as their dad then they need a few home truth too.

They need to see their mum isn’t a robot.

I think maybe read the op again, there is presents, food, tidying, and hosting tonight.

The very first post blames hormones 😂

This place is a joke.

OP, take your babies to your parents house and leave DH and teen to fend for themselves and entertain the guests.

I bet the guests are your DH’s family.

This kind of issue isn't an either/or one - it's far more complicated and thus aibu/ainbu isn't very helpful.

You have a H problem (I refuse to say DH because he's not a DH if he's having a lie-in while you are running ragged with a newborn and a toddler). Apologise to your teen for telling teen to F off. What guests do you have coming over? Are they your family or his? Can you cancel? If his family, go out. Let him deal with the untidy house and guests. Can you buy a tumble dryer? If no space, can you buy a washer / dryer combo and get rid of the washing machine?

It's okay OP it's not the end of the world, picking up the clean clothes will only take 5 minutes when you're feeling better, you just snapped and you'll probably feel better in a few hours if you put your feet up and forget about everything that isn't super important.
If the house is a shithole when guests come over and they have a problem with it they're shitty guests anyway, you have two small children and it's Christmas, you can't do everything perfectly.

How old is the teen? I don’t think it’s ok to tell them to fuck off,you and your husband decided to have two kids close together, you need to use your words to speak to your husband to ensure you both share the load.

I think you need to apologise to your older child. They don’t deserved to be attacked that way.

Not many people are back at work ten weeks post partum. Life - I really disagree it was both but we can agree to disagree. Only the OP knows if Christmas is the stress or her DH..

Or rather my opinion that’s it’s both

And I said it’s Both.

It’s you that has the issue of acknowledging that Christmas is causing the Op a load of problems and isn’t worth it. made worse by a useless dh.

There can be more than one cause to a problem.

Your husband is an adult. He can do things for himself. Dont take on his mental load. No shopping for his family. No even thinking about it. That’s all him.

took all the clean folded washing and threw it all all over the living room floor
what was thr point of this? You created extra work. This doesnt get clothes washed.

told my teen and my Dh to just fuck off because I'm sick of carrying this load.
this was awful. Your dd didnt deserve that. Your dh needs telling to get his arse in gear and be a useful member of the household.

do you work?

Not your teens fault that you decided to have another child so close together or that you’ve decided to host for Christmas.
When you and your husband decided to have another child did you discuss how you would share the load?
Whatever the situation, between the two of you, you have decided to have three children and you need to care and provide for them accordingly.

OK @Lifeasiknowitisout - ‘Christmas isn’t worth this amount of stress on you’ but the tipping point was no clean clothes to wear. I disagree Christmas is the source of the stress and the problems. It’s the DH.

Why is your DH in bed? Get his arse up and ask him to help.
You definitely shouldn't have sworn at your teen, she's as much of a child as your little ones and she didn't ask for you to have two close together. I know it's hard work but don't take it out on her.
Can you get a second hand tumble dryer or heated airer? It will help you massively.

Honestly, I couldn’t care less if you are having a go or not.

I very much doubt op would having people round and going this morning if it wasn’t Christmas. Op wouldn’t under so much pressure to clear the laundry if her husband wasn’t a dick and it wasn’t Christmas.

Op wouldn’t be feeling quite so overwhelmed if it wasn’t also Christmas. She would have spent ages getting presents and trying to make things extra special.

I don’t understand your need to pretend that Christmas isn’t contributing to this issue. I have kids. I am also a single parent. I am fully aware that these things need doing everyday.

But the pressure of Christmas still heightens everything. Yes half the pressure is every day life. Which is why I pointed out she should leave her dh if he continues to be so useless, she shouldn’t put up with it all year round. The other half….is Christmas stress and it’s not worth it. So you agree with me?

Aw don't be too hard on yourself. You didn't actually trash the house, just mixed some clothes up vigorously.

Why are you hosting when you have a 10 week old? You could just have Christmas Day for your family unit

Why have you done everything?