When is it sexual harassment ?

My dd called out sexual harassment at her workplace, loads of other women came forward to say the same had happened to them. He was sacked.

Unfortunately, as the whistleblower my dd was made miserable by some of her colleagues so she left.

It sounds as if you are fairly senior, and as such might be more in a position to call this out than you would be if you were more junior. It's not great that this is the case, but it is reality- the cleaner or admin assistant probably wouldn't expect to be treated seriously, whereas a person making million pound deals has more gravitas in what is still a man's world.
Whilst it is you who has been personally assaulted, it is important that you don't hide this, and don't swallow the insult- this man clearly behaved in a derogatory way towards you, and the fact that you are senior and he still did this suggests that he probably does it to women who are not in a position to complain.
Go formal with this.
And by the way, this is not your fault, don't be cross with yourself, be angry with him. You've been put in a position ( deliberately?) where whatever you do or don't do will have consequences . Sounds like he's daring you to put up and shut up. It's a horrible situation to be in, not of your making.

In that case go to HR

Honestly? Of course it shouldn't happen but if it was a one-off, drink involved, you told him to fuck off (and he did!) I wouldn't do anything further other than remind him that he's lucky you didn't take this to HR

It’s not a small thing. It’s sexual assault.
Speak to ACAS https://www.acas.org.uk/contact
Are you in a Union ? If so they will help.
Your company has to deal with this if a complaint is raised. Start with ACAS.

If he has done that in public with you, I can guarantee he has done worse behind closed doors. He needs stopping.

When you say, it's not the first time, do you mean it's not the first time with this man? Or is there a culture in your business where men behave as they want?

@Bumgrabs

Never stupid questions!

You need time to process this and then in your own time take action, even if only for your self, your own healing.

I'm very impressed you are making multi deals. Shows you are a woman who is very together, (Yes, these things can break us, just when we are doing well in our life).

So sorry you went through this. I am furious on your behalf.

he’s got away with this for years.

God, how awful.

I hope you can find other women that experienced this and put in a collective to HRM.

Absolutely disgusting, we are going into 2024 and this shit still goes on.

There's that Me Too movement that you can take inspiration from.

These kinds of men need to know their game is up!

#MeToo Cases’ New Legal Battleground: Defamation Lawsuits - The New York Times (nytimes.com)

It is considered sexual assault the same as if he'd grabbed your breasts or groped your genitals. You could even make a report to the police if you wanted. Sure they won't persue it, but it will go on record with them and he may have had complaints from other women in the past, or be extra evidence if he assaults someone else. Would also lend weight to you approaching HR too if theres a police report about it.
Men do these things because they expect you to do nothing and say nothing, they KNOW it's wrong. I bet he'd be the first to cry and shit himself if/when it's taken seriously and police show up for a word/HR don't just say "boys will be boys".

It's sexual assault and the correct thing to do is report it to your superior and HR (unless it was your superior doing it then just HR). Be factual, tell them who else was present and it is their job to take it from there.

Be prepared that someone being there does not necessarily mean they saw it / were sober enough to trust their recollection or they may simply want no involvement.

Ultimately without corroboration it is he said / she said and is unlikely to go any further, since either side could be lying (to be clear I am not suggesting you are, but plenty of people make things up to get others sacked).

I've never been successful in having anyone held accountable for sexual misdeeds towards me, but I am in the US and men get away with everything. I've never been believed. Always blamed! I hope you have a better system where you are. You shouldn't even bear the burden of responsibility in this, just report it and it's taken care of. You have my full support and sympathy. Hopefully it goes better than you think it might :/

www.acas.org.uk/discrimination-and-the-law/harassment

The company are under a duty to deal with it as they have to protect their employees at work. If it's a small organisation they may struggle with this as unfamiliar. They should still do it. The conduct you are complaining of could easily be seen as gross misconduct - and could result in dismissal.

Unwanted sexual conduct of any type. I think actual grabbing is beyond harassment though, not sure of the term, but something along the lines of sexual assault. Maybe that is the right word. They need more than a fuck off, they can't get away with that.

Your word plus a witness should be more than enough.

It comes down to how much confidence you have in your company to handle it. None of us can advise on that. The absence of witnesses is not an issue. Sexual assaults are often committed privately.