am I being wrongly suspicious?

Can you check his phone? I suspected my ex was cheating on me for a while but whenever I questioned anything I was crazy. I eventually checked his phone and found all the evidence in black and white. Any old phones lying about you can check?

It might be nothing, maybe your son was confused with being ill but you won't know for sure unless you check!

Okay so to check his past location you need to be able to get into his phone (which phone is it?) and if he is logged into gmail then that is a good way to check as Google location services are usually on by default (some people choose to switch them off but for most they are on in the background all the time). So let me know what type of phone he has and whether you can get into it when he’s asleep: I would be looking through all messages in case he has forgotten to delete some, his WhatsApp, (including any deleted folder) his emails, and to check his past location history you need to go into Google and if he’s logged in to any Google account then click on the initials in the top right, then “manage Google account”, then “manage your data and privacy”, then “things you’ve done and places you’ve been” and then check on that page whether location history is on or off/paused? If it is on you can click on that or the maps timeline to see where he’s been.

I feel sad for your son. He is worried and he told you what he believes he saw so regardless of whether your DH is having an affair or not, your son thinks he is and will be terrified of the consequences/fall out. Yet he told you which suggests that his love for you is greater than his fear which is so sweet. Whilst you try to work out your next move, please do not forget that he is feeling confused, sad, nervous, worried. And this is not his fault.

It's a very odd thing for your son to make up, but he was in a stressful and unusual environment, so not beyond the realms of possibility he's mistaken or dreamt it. I think in the absence of any other suspicions you've really got no choice but to put it down to this. I'd certainly be a bit more vigilant going forward though.

Perhaps have another chat with him, this time with more details

Make plans to leave/make sure you can leave. Can’t offer anything other than sympathy as it does sound fishy

As I've said in another post, I think a good metric of relationship stability is sharing phones. Let your phone drain and simply ask him if you can borrow his phone to look up train times, theatre tickets etc. If he makes up some excuse, then feel free to worry. I'd have no qualms about handing my phone over, ever.

But secondary questions... does he seem happier? More evasive? Is he generally hiding his phone or messaging more?

Do you know any of the other parents who were at the hospital at the same time?
Could you talk to one of them?

I think your boy could have misinterpreted a handshake/handclasp and an air kiss. Some people are effusive and kiss everyone they know.

Was he anesthetized? That can muddle things.

Was your husband keen to accompany him to hospital?

I'd check his social media see if he's friends with anyone matching that description and I probably would check his phone even though it's wrong to do so.

If it’s GOSH then they have ward liaisons and very lovely nurses and they know when people are popping around with presents - as big a place as it is, they do know the comings and goings.

It is odd - running the scenario that he is having an affair then it’s a bit cocky to invite her and either not care that DS would note something, think he wasn’t capable of understanding (still under the arrogant heading!) or felt able to call his son a liar if he did say something, which the dismissal could well be. If it is an affair, it might be a sign she wants to get to know the children or have a bit of a saviour complex. It clearly unsettled your boy and you haven’t been able to dismiss it so it’s clearly unsettled you.

Check his phone when he is next asleep if you feel you are being lied to. Go from there. I’m sorry you’re having to countenance any of this OP.

Men do some strange things, my friends ex husband took her oldest child about three or four to stay at his girlfriends house for the night, while she was in hospital giving birth to their second child.

I disagree with people saying that this wouldn't happen if you were having an affair. The people I know who have had affairs would do anything at all to meet up. They would drive for hours just for a few minutes together.

OP, I would absolutely believe my son. There was no reason for him to make it up, no delirium or anything like that.

The fact your husband works away from home is very significant. What about bank accounts? Would you notice if he was spending money on meals out?

Im not sure I buy that. I mean, if your having an affair then it seems a) an odd place to meet and b) its so public, like right in front of your son? Very brazen if so.

All you can do is sit down and ask your husband to be honest, say you would just rather know. Keep an eye on kdd outings or being precious over his phone but I wouldnt read too much in to it

I would be inclined to believe your son, your husbands response is weird too, he didn’t find it strange or want to try and understand how the confusion could have happened, just quickly said it was nonsense.

if your husband says he bought the fidget toy, ask where from as you’d like to get others for the other kids. Look on the bank statements for a purchase from which ever shop around the same time - also where could he have bought it when he was stuck at the hospital?

it feels like the toy is physical evidence that backs up her being there, especially if you DH could t have actually bought it?

If it’s a long term affair and she lives near by it wouldn’t be that crazy that she would turn up to support him and bring him coffee - even do something to hasten you finding out so they can be together, if that is her hope? They may pert have thought your son was asleep when they kissed.

Could it be the case that he comes home a day after his shift finishes and leaves a day early to see her?

My friend's child is admitted to hospital fairly often due to a genetic condition, she is always visited at least once by charity workers and always comes home with new toys that they give. It could easily have been that, with the kiss being a miss interpretation - she bent over near him to pick something up etc, or she got tangled in a dream he had. I would let this one go.

When DD was about 7, she told my then H (now XH) that she thought I had a new boyfriend..her swimming teacher! All because I had a quick chat with him 🤣 so yeah, kids can get muddled up!
Does your H have social media? Particularly Snapchat? I did OLD last year and a few guys asked to Snapchat rather than stay on the app or WhatsApp, including a couple who worked on the rigs. I was a bit suss that some of them were in relationships and Snapchat vanishes leaving little trace 😬 I’d be stalking his social media in your situation..

You’re definitely not going mad OP, so just reassure yourself. Most men in this situation will attempt to gaslight until actual evidence is brought to them. It is possible it is all innocent, however I would also do some digging to find out for certain. If he won’t let you look through his phone for some peace of mind, then can you get a hold of his phone bills, see who he called or texted that evening? You can also go through his WhatsApp which of course he can delete, and his social media messages: he would have to be very honest and open and if my DH wasn’t honest and open with his phone after something like this, then I would think he has something to hide.

you can also check location history on his phone for dates you’ve ever felt uneasy or unable to get hold of him.

did your son say that his dad asked him to keep a secret or anything like that, or was your son sleeping and woke up to see this? (I’m thinking it would be brazen for any man to do this when son is fully awake). did your son actually speak to the woman?