To ask about your good men?

This is really beautiful @10yDrama
I'm glad you found each other.

I firmly believe that the are actually quite a few good men around.
Maybe not the majority. There are far too many awful men around.
But there are many good, decent, hard-working men who are doing their best to be good husbands are good fathers.

They tend to be less successful with women as - despite what many women say they want in a partner- many women are fundamentally attracted to terrible men.

The good ones often get ignored until they meet they right person then they have long and happy relationships. Whilst the women who ignored them often complain about there bring no good men.

My DH is the love of my life. He is funny, kind, sexy, hardworking, great work ethic, does loads around the house and supports me in everything I do. And he is the best Dad. Don't give up hope OP!

My partner is, I believe, a good man. He's clean, tidy, thoughtful, kind and respectful. He says what he thinks and what he wants. He's the most reliable and trustworthy person I've ever known - he's never let me down once in 5 years. He's never ever said anything mean or judgy to me either. My ex used to constantly make remarks about my weight and point out if clothes didn't suit my 'wide hips' (I'm 5'9 and have consistently been size 10-12 all my adult life! 🙄). That ex also had no sympathy or patience with my anxiety, or when my endometriosis made sex painful.

But like others have said, current DP is probably considered kind of boring! He's also not conventionally handsome or blokey. He's quite sensible, introverted, family orientated, and has simple tastes. He has a lot of hobbies to be fair, plays a lot of sport and has a good group of friends, men and women. I don't mind my partners having friendships with women, I think that's a good sign that they have a healthy attitude towards women. I also get that DP will be attracted to other women from time to time, and frankly, so what?

He's also not perfect - he has some annoying habits, but don't we all. He's utterly clueless when it comes to food, cooking, or maintenence/fixing anything, but fortunately they're my thing. He likes cleaning and admin so I gladly leave most of that to him!

My husband is about as good as they come in my mind. (Hence why I married him.)

Plenty of people find our life boring and us nerdy. So take that into account. I'm ND (diagnosed) and pretty sure DH has autism. So I'm used to being treated like a weirdo and people thinking that we're a pair of losers. (Fashionable people who go out to wine bars, go on girls/lads holidays etc.)
But I wouldn't swap our marriage and family for anything.

He has never ever made it seem like any aspect of parenting isn't his job as equally as it's mine.

He holds doors, chairs, carries bags, not just for me but for anyone less able than himself. (Which is a lot of people as he's 6'4")

I've never met anyone more willing to accept people's differences and to give voices to minorities. If his or my family start talking nonsense about LGBT/immigrants he's always the first to step in and stand up for them. (Partly I'm sure due to this suspected autism as he can't let things sit if he thinks it's wrong.)

Our DC are so kind because of his modelling that to them. (I'm not nearly as patient, and will get ticked off when he tells me that I need to be more patient or that I've acted unfairly but he's always right. I just need to calm down before I can admit it.

He makes DC packed lunch every morning as well as emptying the dishwasher and always does the bins on bin day.

He's kind to all animals and they love him (wouldn't have married him if my dog hadn't loved him!)

He's so generous with gifts for me and DC and even I earn a lot less I never feel like I can't spend money on things we need. Everything that's his is genuinely mine.

He's kind and patient with my mum. Who is disabled and we have to care for a lot.

He worships me and even though my body is faaaar from perfect after pregnancies and years of breastfeeding he loves everything about it and seems genuinely to fancy me as much as he did 20 years ago.

About as considerate a lover as I imagine can exist. Literally have to reassure him to that I'm done. - every time. This can occasionally get annoying but it's only because he cares.

His faults are that he is very over critical of himself and had very very low self esteem when we met. He is always very quick to say how much I've helped in that department as I won't let his nerves stop us from visiting/doing things.

Basically he's the best. (Apart from the loud breathing, leaving shaving hair on the bathroom mirror and being way too OCD about things like the thermostat, curtains, boring old man stuff!)

I'm sure if it was a case that he was on a dating site people would ignore him. He plays computer games for an hour or two a couple of times a week. Reads comic books. Likes Lego.

All the things that people scoff at on here. Their loss is very much my gain.

I have one! He's fantastic, cooks, cleans, picks up after himself, complimentary, great shag, does the diy, supportive etc. My only complaint was he left milk tops on the sink, he's stopped that! 😁

For me the answer was an older man, I'm wife number 4. (Not as serial marrier as it sounds, I promise!) Number 3 seems to perfect the house training! (Somewhat tongue in cheek!) 🤣

There are really good men out there OP, I hope you find yours soon 🙏🏼 I think people only talk about the bad ones (especially on Mumsnet) and then it skews people’s opinions and doesn’t reflect reality. My husband is an amazing man - I trust him implicitly, he is kind, caring, generous, a wonderful Father, my best friend, works hard and provides for our family. He does leave his dirty clothes on the floor, dirty dishes on the worktop and other annoying traits…. but we can let that slide most of the time.

My DH is a good man. A good dad. A good person. A good husband. He shares the mental load, the physical load, the parenting load. He earns more but makes sure we have the same disposable income.

He's kind. He's loving. He's often funny. He has a bit of a temper but rarely loses it. He has a bad habit of opening his mouth and letting his belly rumble. Gets him into trouble sometimes.

He's the sort of man most women ignored but more fool them!!

Oh and he's exactly the right match for me sexually.

We've been together almost 22 years and married 20 years (next year).

I have a good man too. He is sweet, adores me and is always authentically himself. Ive heard him described as 'boring' and 'nerdy' but i love the very bones of him

I wasnt sure when we first met and It took me a while to feel a sexual attraction. We like different things, but respect each others interests and enjoy time alone as long as we have each other to come home too.... it works

We are early 30s and ive had my fair share of non-'boring' a**holes

Wouldnt change him for the world

I have one of these though he did have a six pack when we met and is tall. He is a massive nerd, loves hiking, cycling and running. I also love hiking, I do like cycling though I’m a fair weather cyclist, which he teases me about. I like sitting on top of a peak or ridge eating sandwiches and drinking tea from a flask with him. We have been together for 27 years and have a DS who is in his early twenties. We met at work, love playing scrabble and board games and do The Times crossword together most days.

I'm blessed with my DH. He runs the boring admin side of my business, runs the house doing all laundry, shopping, bills, house admin, runs dd to her various clubs and friends houses, supports me in my career being my champion. He changes the beds, buys me lovely gifts, is gentle and kind, never pressures me for sex and understands it can be tough for me sometimes and I may go months without wanting intimacy due to a history of abuse. He's a great cook, decorates the house, has taught himself carpentry and other diy skills to make our home lovely.

Sometimes he leaves a plate out on the counter, crumbs on the bread board or leaves his things out so not quite perfect but very close. He's got a six pack too though I don't care remotely about that.

There are good men who respect women but I suspect they are few and far between. I got lucky but I didn't find him until I was 25 and kissed some absolute toads first!

I think you have to set your bar high and accept no less.

This

My husband is amazing. We've been married 3 years, second time round for both of us. He adores me, does his fair share around the house, constantly has my back, is kind and loving to my son and family. He makes me laugh all the time, feel loved and safe and I constantly pinch myself I've met him.

He feels the same about me 🥰

Interestingly, both my dad and my brother are these good men types. Both super lovely, amazing hands on fathers, devoted to their families, equal share in housework etc.

and yet I always end up with rubbish, emotionally unavailable, cheating men! I thought the theory was that women end up with someone with the same character as their fathers. So I don’t know what’s going wrong here! 🤣🤦‍♀️

My husband is absolutely phenomenal, i would probably admit i want to pop him in the bin sometimes but how he is with our daughter his work ethics his kindness his warm general being everything about him i adore.

Don't tell him i said that though ;-)

Sounds like my dh. Took me 40 years to find him but we've been married 7 years, together for 10 and barely had a cross word. But when we do, he's still respectful, never swears or shouts at me. Equally he also makes me belly laugh and there's no one I'd rather spend my time with.

My DH is a good man. Kind, thoughtful, funny and steadfast. My father was too and so is my brother.

He's not 'mine', but I do know a particularly lovely man who works with animals in a specific area and he treats them with such understanding and kindness it's amazing.
I'm also very good friends with a male colleague who is the most gentle person you could ever meet.
There are good ones out there, I just haven't found one for me yet.

My good egg was an OLD find. He was in the navy when we first met, our first date was 2 days after we started talking, the day after he went back to the Caribbean for 3 months. Not long after, he handed in his notice because he wanted a civvy lifestyle for starting a family. Worked his year notice then we bought a flat together just after our first anniversary. 2 years later we have my DS (previous relationship) and our DD and are looking forward to buying a house! When the market allows 😬

He's shorter than me, he's stubborn and headstrong, he's the tidy one and I am the complete opposite, he can't do laundry for shit but he'll clean the kitchen and the bathroom. There is so much give and take. Everything is easy. We've had maybe 3 arguments in 3.5 years and most importantly he makes me feel like I'm home. I can't ask for any more than that 🥰 except popping the question but house comes first because weddings are Hella expensive

I'm 5 months into dating a good one - after a very abusive relationship I took myself out for a couple of years to heal and he's the first one I've been serious with.
I'm constantly on the hunt for red flags but none are appearing - he has his flaws (as we all do) but no red flags.
He's absolutely gorgeous and is the male version of me personality wise.

Dh isn’t 6’3” but otherwise fits the bill.

I have one. He’s brilliant. We share the load - not in a “make a list” way - in a we both see what needs doing and do it way. He’s kind, a great dad, considerate, wants the best for all our family. He supports me, tells me he’s proud of me, and generally acts like an all round excellent human being.

Same ^^

DH isn't what I thought I'd go for - we met as teens and he was 5ft5 and stick thin and very baby faced. He is a football mad guy and very simple tastes. Not what I thought was my type at all. I remember being told to give him a chance and went on a 'date' and my god he made me laugh. I was a bit emo and morose and no one was ever really able to make me laugh.

Still together 13 years later, married, DC. We've had ups and downs but still no one can make me laugh like he does and he has had a 'glow up'. He grew loads one summer when we were 17 and got facial hair and a bit of weight on him, settled into his face and is generally considered cheeky/ handsome looking. The sex is also fabulous, not to lower the tone but my god...
He does his share of housework and is supportive of me and my family, very much a big part of it. He is an amazing and patient dad. He is doing much more than I am at the moment (house/child) due to me being back in education. V.Decent career and wage. He's still got simple tastes. He's great but many would dismiss because he wouldn't plan a fancy date or dress well.

I still hate football though!

Mine is absolutely one of the best. Ten years and he’s never shown me a hint of temper, grumpiness, rudeness or disinterest. He is the warmest, kindest, gentlest, most loving man. He would do anything for me and our son. He’s the most involved dad and a completely equal parent. He’s clever and funny and hard working and thoughtful. He has never let me down and I can’t imagine a world where he ever would.

My brother in law is one - my sister would def tell me if I’d got it totally wrong! Together for 48 years now, from 16 year olds. Kind, patient, caring, useful(!), hardworking, totally immersed in family life with children and grandchildren, reliable, interested in his extended family and so on.
I had false starts but found mine in my mid 40’s so 20 years together.