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AIBU?

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Original poster

Is this a middle class saying?

478 replies

Toblecorleone · 17/12/2023 19:36

Light hearted!

earlier today DH and I took DD to a small petting zoo type place. Not many people there and at one point it was just us and another woman with a girl aged about 3. Woman seemed quite posh, well spoken, both dressed rather posh - the woman was explaining something about guinea pigs to her daughter and then broke off and said “do you want bog?”

The girl said she did so off they went to find the toilets. I was quite suprised by the this phrase from someone who seemed so well spoken but DH says it’s a very middle class saying and he’d have thought “toilet” would have sounded more “common”.

I totally disagree!! Before anyone starts I know it doesn’t matter, I’m just amused by it and interested in how others would perceive this saying?!

YABU - Bog is very middle class
YANBU - bog is common talk

OP posts:
ThanksItHasPockets · 17/12/2023 21:02

narniabusiness · 17/12/2023 20:12

Nancy Mitford wrote the U and Non U lists as a bit of a light newspaper column in the beginning but it proved to be very popular. The Non U words were often French in derivation - hence Toilet and Serviette. Why she had a downer on French words I don’t know. She lived in France for much of the latter half of her life.

Show quote history

Mitford didn’t write those lists. Her article was based on the work of a linguistics academic called Alan S.C. Ross. It was he who coined ‘U’ and ‘non-U’. The big difference was that as an academic linguist he was writing descriptively. In the hands of the daughter of a baron the distinctions started to feel very prescriptive.

TisTheDarnSeason · 17/12/2023 21:04

I probably use scent and perfume interchangeably. Can't stretch to looking-glass though, that's just performative nonsense these days.

I remember one of ds's friends at primary school actually getting a smack from his mum for saying 'what?' instead of 'pardon?' in front of me. Poor kid! I was mortified.

Pipsquiggle · 17/12/2023 21:04

My poshest friends don't say 'toilet' - they don't let their DC say 'toilet'

They say 'loo'

ChocolateTVandbaby · 17/12/2023 21:05

I wouldn't have thought was "posh" but love another Mumsnet class thread...

LBFseBrom · 17/12/2023 21:05

'Bog' is normal.

'Toilet' is prissy. 'Lavatory' is better.

Criceta · 17/12/2023 21:07

I have no idea why it’s so funny but am crying laughing at this 😂 Who on earth says ‘do you want bog’? 😂😂😂

Mumtobabyhavoc · 17/12/2023 21:07

I'm across the pond, but reading with interest and amusement! ☺️
Here on the west coast "washroom" is polite, "bathroom" is a bit less so. You hear both, though. Down in the States I hear "restroom" more commonly.
🤷‍♀️

Upthread someone likened the use of "bog" to "serviette." (As uncouth). We use "serviette" and "napkin" fairly interchangeably to mean either paper or cloth for wiping your mouth when eating. 😂

IHaveNeverLivedintheCastle · 17/12/2023 21:08

OhCrumbsWhereNow · 17/12/2023 20:57

Bog is fine and I would definitely say that if I was made to choose between bog and toilet (shudder).

But it's more of boy thing though - my father and brother would probably use it. Certainly prep schools loos were termed 'the bogs'.

Lavatory always seemed a bit too formal, 'lav' is awful. Loo is definitely the best term, bathroom if not in the UK.

Also on the banned list - pardon, lounge (unless in a hotel or airport), couch and serviette.

All school lavatories are "bogs"

giraffesaregreat · 17/12/2023 21:09

'The bog' was what we said at a fairly elite girls' boarding school in the early nineties. Definitely not toilet or loo. Not heard it for years though.

notlucreziaborgia · 17/12/2023 21:09

sunglassesonthetable · 17/12/2023 21:00

Had forgotten about going 'to the bog'. 😄

That's what we called it at my private girl's boarding school.

But then we did swear like a navvies.

Same, and indeed same.

LitenHaj · 17/12/2023 21:10

Bog is what I said as a teenager in the 80s and 90s. We sometimes lengthened it to Bogota.

SirenSays · 17/12/2023 21:12

School had bogs because they were utterly disgusting places. Ive always said loo. Powder room will always be a coke joke to me.

IDoughnutKnow · 17/12/2023 21:12

I went to boarding school and we used to talk about "bogs" when we wanted to sound oh-so-demotic.

I am now grown up and they are loos or, if you are being long winded, lavatories. But "loo" does the job very well.

sunglassesonthetable · 17/12/2023 21:12

Here in Wales they say " it's bogging " . It means what sounds like. Perfect. 👌🏼

PhulNana · 17/12/2023 21:13

LakieLady · 17/12/2023 20:41

My grandfather, who had been in the navy in WW1, used to say that he was "Going to sink the Bismarck" when he was going for a crap.

Show quote history

I have a colleague who says he's going to 'drop off a job lot'.

IHaveNeverLivedintheCastle · 17/12/2023 21:13

Criceta · 17/12/2023 21:07

I have no idea why it’s so funny but am crying laughing at this 😂 Who on earth says ‘do you want bog’? 😂😂😂

Without either a definite article or a verb it sounds Neanderthal so perhaps Robin from Ghosts?

determinedtomakethiswork · 17/12/2023 21:14

You're kidding, yes? There's no way on this earth you can think that bog is middle class.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 17/12/2023 21:14

Not middle class no. I might’ve said it when younger if trying to be funny or sound common. But generally I haven’t really heard this.

IDoughnutKnow · 17/12/2023 21:14

I've just consulted my DC, one of whom helpfully says it's the "shitter" or the "pisser", depending on your reason for being there.

They, too, went to boarding schools. Famous ones (unlike me).

PhulNana · 17/12/2023 21:14

Pipsquiggle · 17/12/2023 21:04

My poshest friends don't say 'toilet' - they don't let their DC say 'toilet'

They say 'loo'

I hate 'loo'. I think it's rather 'genteel'.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 17/12/2023 21:16

I can’t get worked up as to what’s common or posh either. My nana (who thought of herself as proper but not exactly posh, always told DB and I off if we said thanks rather than thank you.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 17/12/2023 21:17

IDoughnutKnow · 17/12/2023 21:14

I've just consulted my DC, one of whom helpfully says it's the "shitter" or the "pisser", depending on your reason for being there.

They, too, went to boarding schools. Famous ones (unlike me).

Seems like the posher you are the dirtier language you use!

What would their parents say if they knew?! snigger

Thepeopleversuswork · 17/12/2023 21:18

@StarlightLime

You actually shudder? Why does it matter so much to you if someone uses a word you wouldn't choose to? It sounds quite... performative to me.

Of course I don't actually shudder, it's a turn of phrase. I couldn't give a monkeys what phrases people use. But my mum was very class conscious and hammered into me as a child that serviette was a horrible word and I wasn't to use it. So it still makes me feel queasy.

I don't hold to these opinions at all. But I was brought up around people who were very keen not to be seen as lower middle class and these things are hard to train yourself out of.

Frasers · 17/12/2023 21:19

CharlotteSometimes1 · 17/12/2023 19:44

Using the word toilet indicates your class, those in the know are aware it’s ‘common’ as are many words that aren’t traditionally English. Many people think it’s perfectly acceptable, they don’t know they’re signaling that they’re not middle class. Therefore given the choice between bog and toilet, bog wins.

You may think this is all nonsense, but that’s the class system for you. See Nancy Mitford U and NonU.

Bog is below toilet. Not above. Both definetly not middle class. Or posh.

Maverick101 · 17/12/2023 21:19

HoppingPavlova · 17/12/2023 20:56

Nope, it’s right up there with Dunny and Shitter.

Are you sure she wasn’t referring a stuffed cuddle toy?

What on earth is wrong with dunny? It's incredibly pervasive Australian vernacular (it originally referred to outdoor loos, but now has a more general use). As an Australian I love that Bluey use spreading the lingo internationally. (If it was really unacceptable do you think they would have made that episode?)

Then there's that great Aussie curse --
"May all your chooks turn into emus and kick your dunny down" .