Christmas work do

@Aprilx · Today 10:03

''I didn’t say it was complicated. You seem convinced that managers always organise Christmas parties, I am advising you that this is not the case. I have never organised a Christmas party as a manager and I have never known any of my managers to do so either. Never organised or communicated''

Do you have a comprehension problem?

This has nothing to do with organising the party itself..

A manager is responsible for their team members.

If a team member is on maternity leave it is the manager's responsibility to make sure their team member is not excluded from big events last this.

Unless you are exceptionally scatty or/and lazy as a manager you should be able to keep track of who is on maternity leave in your team and forward them whatever email has gone out to everyone else in case they want to join the event. I mean The Christmas party happens once a year...hardly going to tip your workload over.

You don't need to 'advise me' of anything. I have been a manager for decades.

It doesn’t mean they were not invited just because they weren’t there.

I had been off since April but was invited to mine. I didn’t go because I had a baby to look after.

OP, you should have been invited because you’re still an employee. You have been unfairly treated but it may not have been intentional.

Why not just ask where your invite was when you saw the date coming near and hadn't had an invite?

I've been the xmas / summer party organiser a few times, it is a pain as it is extra to your normal workload. For one event I got in trouble for not sending an invite to someone's personal email, as she was on maternity leave. I had lost track of what she had decided she did / didn't want to be personally notified about (she had access to work emails still). This year in my effort to include everyone I was in trouble for contacting someone on maternity leave on their personal email re the xmas party, as I was 'disturbing' her.

I'm with you on this, I'm currently on maternity leave, we had a new manager start when I was about to leave but the assistant manager has been there for years and knows me well as do the rest of the team. Everyone has gone out tonight and i wasn't invited but this isn't the 1st time I've been ignored. I sent a picture of my little girl in when she was born and had no reply, I even did some work when i was admitted back in hospital again because I was that bored and wasn't acknowledged and now no invite to works Xmas party and the fact that one lady who is also on maternity but due to go back in January has been invited I don't think is very fair. They might think I don't want to go but they could at least ask.

We have someone off just now who will be at our Christmas do this evening. No excuse for not inviting a member of staff.

It can be easy to forget someone if they're not there, or maybe send the invitation by email forgetting the person whose off won't be reading their emails, but it just takes a bit of thought to send them a message.

At best you've been overlooked, at worst deliberately excluded. Neither is good for the company should you wish to complain, and it's tarnished your image of them as an employer regardless. They should care about that.

We always invite people who are on mat leave. They’re still part of the team.

My line manager would get in touch via text if there were team events on/anything I'd missed on emails to see if I wanted a KIT day on those days, sorry you didn't hear from them and you were so poorly in your pregnancy. I hope you have a lovely first Christmas with your baby x

Honestly in a busy office it's easy to see how t people on mat leave or long term leave get forgotten about.
When it was mentioned on the chat you had loads of opportunity to chime in or message your manager privately. You didn't however , you just waited to be omitted so you could bitch about it after

I'm surprised some of your colleagues that you were particularly friendly with didn't prompt you either.

All that will happen if you send your manager a passive aggressive text ia an eye roll on their part and a oops sorry about that email.
Why sour things further before you head back?

You've been through a lot - I'm not surprised you are feeling low on resilience for this kind of situation and a poor manager really not helpful.

You've come through so much and are clearly very resilient to have persevered so much for this baby.

Don't let small people get you down xxx

But that kind of assumption IS discriminatory. It's making assumptions based on a protected characteristic. It's exactly the same as not inviting Muslim colleagues to a Christmas party because it might 'offend them'.
All employees should be given the same opportunities. It's up to them if they participate or not.

Are you not allowed a night out without a baby if you're on maternity leave?!

I'd probably comment on the photos and say what a great time they seemed to have and make a sarky remark about how you'd have loved a night out!

How was the party organised? Did a whatsapp message/email go out stating who is available on such and such date? Was you included in that?

If others on maternity leave were invited and you deliberately were not, yes that is discrimination. However I can tell you now that if you raise it, your manager will say she forgot as she was so busy with X, Y and Z, you've been out of the business for X months so you were not immediately in her thoughts and then drop into the conversation that you were on the WhatsApp group and why didn't' you say anything, you would have been more than welcome to attend.

It is shit though

Sorry OP.

I took it as snippy.

I think you need a hug.

Someone down thread pointed out that your manager is the problem really ( historically not just now). Try and separate a twatty thoughtless manager from the rest of the company.

So I know and get you are upset and I think it's understandable but maybe don't feel like it's a whole company of awful people - just one mixed with some thoughtlessness.

And I'm very sorry you are unwell - is it mar leave or sick leave? Either way I'm sorry xxx

I’d have to passively aggressively chime in thanking them for the invite, there’s no way I could resist. Very rude of them not to invite you, especially when others on mat leave have been in the past.

You should have been invited, OP. It doesn't matter who organises the Christmas party, your manager should have ensured that you were included.

Surely they assumed you'd be busy with your baby and you are on leave. I really think you're overthinking it all

You seem convinced that managers always organise Christmas parties

Can you quote the text that led you to think that?
To me it's clear that @Startingagainandagain meant that the manager should be engaged with communications between the org and the employee. Whether that relates to events, progression, work opportunities etc.

I'm interested as to how I read things differently from others.

Agree that managers do not organise Xmas parties. But if one of their team is off on mat leave, its their role to make sure the person organising it, includes anyone who works for them on mat leave, or pass the details on to them themselves