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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Commando

83 replies

LylaLee · 13/12/2023 09:21

Met up with friend in a cafe for a catch up - the last one was before COVID. Her DP came to pick her up after.

He was wearing joggers but he very clearly was not wearing anything underneath. Outlines of everything. I didn't say anything but AIBU to think it's grim to go out in public like that?

OP posts:
YeahIsaidit · 13/12/2023 12:13

What I'm getting from this thread is that I find dick/baked goods combinations hilarious. Croissants and knobs, willies and muffins. Thank you for the imagery

Feellikedancingcrying · 13/12/2023 12:12

But it waved at her!

ManateeFair · 13/12/2023 12:09

Honestly, I find it genuinely quite creepy that you were looking at his groin and trying to see if he had underwear on.

Anyway - as others have said, he probably wears boxers rather than a tighter-fitting pant. But even if he does go commando, it's really no business of yours. It's not like he whipped his willy out and plonked it on the table next to your muffin.

NoNoNanette · 13/12/2023 11:59

@LylaLee

When you are seated, crotches are at eye level...

Yes, my eyes are in my pelvis, too! Glad I'm not the only one. 😘

Original poster
LylaLee · 13/12/2023 11:03

How did I know he wasn't wearing underwear? Well, maybe he was wearing silk or chiffon light knickers, but it did nothing to obscure the clear outline of his genitals.

How did I see? When you are seated, crotches are at eye level...

OP posts:
CrispsandCheeseSandwich · 13/12/2023 10:26

DH has a pair of joggers that he only wears round the house. He always wears boxers but there are still outlines like OP describes, which is why he doesn't like to wear them outside. So your friend's DH may well have been wearing underwear. But still maybe an odd choice.

SunnieShine · 13/12/2023 10:24

Absolutely rank 🤢

shitsuit23466 · 13/12/2023 10:23

Might have wanted to avoid having a wedgie

NoNoNanette · 13/12/2023 10:21

FiveShelties · 13/12/2023 10:02

@NoNoNanette we all have stuff that gives us the creeps and you posted at the same time as me and mentioned the laundry from a hotel. I think you have probably seen stuff that I cannot imagine!

Welcome to MN by the way.

It gave me nightmares!

FiveShelties · 13/12/2023 10:02

@NoNoNanette we all have stuff that gives us the creeps and you posted at the same time as me and mentioned the laundry from a hotel. I think you have probably seen stuff that I cannot imagine!

Welcome to MN by the way.

YeahIsaidit · 13/12/2023 10:00

NoNoNanette · 13/12/2023 09:58

I did! It's just the thought of the other kind that creeps me out. Do you think I am obsessed? Isn't everyone horrified about that sort of thing? I don't mind kids stuff, brought up a boy and a girl, but unknown adult men going commando creeps me out.

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But why do you think that going commando means they're leaving skid marks and piss drops? Underwear doesn't automatically mean someone is clean any more than the lack of it means someone is dirty

NoNoNanette · 13/12/2023 09:58

FiveShelties · 13/12/2023 09:53

I think you are mixing with the wrong men @NoNoNanette - you need to pick one who washes.

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I did! It's just the thought of the other kind that creeps me out. Do you think I am obsessed? Isn't everyone horrified about that sort of thing? I don't mind kids stuff, brought up a boy and a girl, but unknown adult men going commando creeps me out.

Bobbotgegrinch · 13/12/2023 09:57

How on earth do you know he was going commando OP?

He probably just had loose fitting boxers on underneath.

FiveShelties · 13/12/2023 09:53

NoNoNanette · 13/12/2023 09:42

A banana would be worse, but seriously - I think it's creepy and so does DH (I just asked him). I'd be thinking, not of the manly meat and two veg, but rather of the skid marks and pooh-y sweat at the back and piss leaks and dick smell at the front. Underwear was invented for a reason.

Show quote history

I think you are mixing with the wrong men @NoNoNanette - you need to pick one who washes.

NoNoNanette · 13/12/2023 09:53

gannett · 13/12/2023 09:50

Have you ever thought that the problem is you? It's not normal to think so obsessively about other people's bodily functions.

Tbh the only creepy ones are those who not only notice but then post about it on the internet and then make it sound as disgusting as they possibly can. People have bodies and bits, get over it.

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Thanks for the Mumsnet welcome! No, the problem is you, with your self-appointed role of guardian of everyone's taste. I once had a summer job in a big laundry that did contract work for London hotels. Please, and I say this kindly, pull your head in, love.

Noseyoldcow · 13/12/2023 09:53

Unless the joggers were very tight, or the wearer was very well endowed, how could you tell? But yes I agree it is scummy for sweaty skid marks/urine drop reasons if nothing else. Dunno about dick smells, I've obviously led a sheltered life and have (fortunately!) never been subjected to them.

gannett · 13/12/2023 09:53

Also if he was just popping out to pick his partner up he will probably have been more casual about the clothes he threw on to leave the house than if he had gone out for his own social engagement.

betterangels · 13/12/2023 09:52

YeahIsaidit · 13/12/2023 09:24

I don't wander around looking at people's crotches and don't think I'm in the minority with that one so most likely wouldn't notice. So long as people don't have their bits and bobs fully exposed, it's up to them how they dress and what they're comfortable with.

Would you think the same about a braless woman with untamed boobs?

Agree with this. I never wear a bra. I'm sure people judge. I also know that I don't care.

Stop looking at his crotch.

JanefromLondon1 · 13/12/2023 09:51

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn due to privacy concerns.

gannett · 13/12/2023 09:50

NoNoNanette · 13/12/2023 09:42

A banana would be worse, but seriously - I think it's creepy and so does DH (I just asked him). I'd be thinking, not of the manly meat and two veg, but rather of the skid marks and pooh-y sweat at the back and piss leaks and dick smell at the front. Underwear was invented for a reason.

Show quote history

Have you ever thought that the problem is you? It's not normal to think so obsessively about other people's bodily functions.

Tbh the only creepy ones are those who not only notice but then post about it on the internet and then make it sound as disgusting as they possibly can. People have bodies and bits, get over it.

TheDandyLion · 13/12/2023 09:49

Stop looking at your friend's husband's crotch.

Simonjt · 13/12/2023 09:47

Ah, grey sweat pant season, if you wear lose boxers and you’re a shower it can look like you haven’t got anything on underneath.

Passingthethyme · 13/12/2023 09:46

Gross. Either a man or woman, seeing someone's genitals really isn't necessary

LapwingDove · 13/12/2023 09:45

It’s a bit strange, especially in this weather, but not like he went out with no trousers on. It’s a matter for him really. Personally, I would go out in joggers, let alone no underwear, but live and let live and all that.

BigDahliaFan · 13/12/2023 09:43

I'm with the OP...it's a bit scummy.