Would you find this offensive?

Ask him 'Are you?"

Just tell him you’re now a man called Brian - pronouns he/his/him.

Was it Leo DiCaprio? 😁

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Or
Self praise is no recommendation.
How rude of him.

“Absolutely, despite my 15 stone weight gain, hunchback and decision to stop showering more than once a month.”

It's true that the ones with all the patter and love-bombing at the start are equally as bad in a different way but there is a middle ground. It doesn't have to be sleazy OR shallow/"clumsy"). I can well remember very clumsy, but nonetheless lovely and heartfelt compliments from younger years. What the OP describes is not one of them, in my opinion.

'Even if I looked like Shrek you'd still be punching.'

I once got asked if I'd fuck someone because, and I quote, he hadn't got his leg over for ages..

It's funny how men consider themselves smart yet fail to grasp the difference between most men's sexuality and most women's. Even though they are surrounded by evidence of it on every front;

Page 3, for men.
Static strip clubs, for men.
Prostitution for almost exclusively men, hetero, bi and gay.
Hook up sites over populated with men
Porn sites whose content makes it obvious they are primarily for men.
The vast vast majority of rapists, men.
The vast vast majority of sex offenders, men
Etc etc.

Yet they really think "want some dick?" is a valid approach to women. They really think a woman being single for a bit means she's desperate for sex etc.

Anyway, I agree - at least the dumb, clueless ones blurt it out, unlike the scripted ones who future fake and lie to get sex.

Even some women subscribe to it, I went on holiday on my own to Greece once because I was getting on badly with my partner and didn't want to be in his company, a family asked me to join them for dinner and the mother commented that the local men would think I was only there for one thing; I was completely taken aback and only replied "dressed like this?!" - because I was conservatively/boringly dressed, but what I actually wish I'd said was "they're delusional then, I can get that back home at the drop of a hat without having to pay for a fkg holiday to Greece".

I'd be tempted to reply "Not quite as fresh faced as I was since the chip pan fire".

But yeah 26 year olds generally look great, so he probably wants to know if you have turned into a fatty or not.

This. Run OP, please run.

"So I'm told. So, respectfully, you'd still be punching"

He's 26 years old. That's not young.

When I was 26 I was married with a toddler and a newborn.

I am genuinely really happy for you that you've never experienced an arsehole. I do mean genuinely btw. There's just no way to write that that doesn't sound sarcastic 😂

But sadly you are in the minority. I would say most women have experienced far more toads than princes.

Some are more subtle than others.

I once got asked if I'd fuck someone because, and I quote, he hadn't got his leg over for ages.

It was a "hell no, piss off" but I had to respect his honesty. It's the sneaky ones that are the most annoying.

It actually suggests to me that he has seen - in real life, or on SM, pics of other girls who were also around in their social scene back then .. and thinks their looks have deteriorated; so he's cautious about the op (who, having responded to his random message after 5 years, he presumes is single, available, and open to getting involved).

"Respectfully" (I know this is offensive but I'll try to soften it) "are you still as attractive as you were 5 years ago?"

Is not clumsy flirting.

It's clumsily trying to find out if op's looks have changed much and maybe get some pics - before he decides whether to bother continuing to communicate with her.

This.

No wonder so many MNetters get into shit relationships; greener than fresh cut grass.

He's not flirting, he's clumsily asking if OP has put a significant amount of weight on!

I'm not sure why he would expect your looks to change that much in such a few years. He's dropping hints that he's still interested. Not the greatest chat up line but then read your texts. Do you come across as anything special? Probably not. If you like him enjoy it for what it is. Don't over analyse it or look for stuff to be offended about.

I know.

You said he isn't good at flirting is he.

I said no he is not.

Yes it does look like that is what she means! Thank you.

The guy is only 26 its a bit of clumsy flirting! You obviously used to like him @Daisy995 msg him back

I didn’t say it was a good come on or flirt, in fact the opposite, but cmon, this is clearly a back handed compliment meant light heartedly. He’s not really expecting her to say no, I got ugly. He’s expecting her to say, even hotter mate or meet me and find out.

I would have to say no. No he is not.

"Hey are you still hot or did you get a bit fugly with a couple of years on you" does not exactly get the heart a fluttering.

Stomach a heaving perhaps but the heart remains unfluttered.

It’s a come on, a back handed compliment, he’s saying you were very attractive. He isn’t great at flirting is he.