Big boobs

@Mooshamoo I think it does sound like if you ARE wearing a size 16 on top, that's most likely the result of your breasts. I think when I was at my thinnest, I was wearing a size 8 at the bottom and a size 10-12 on top (post surgery) and size 12-14 on top (pre surgery). now that I am, frankly, overweight, I'm wearing a size 16 on bottom, sometimes 18 as I do have a thick tummy, and a size 16-18 on top. (luckily I don't gain weight on my breasts at the same proportion as elsewhere on my body).

@YeahIsaidit Bravissimo sell 28 back bras up to H cup (I wear them) and probably beyond, though I haven’t looked. John Lewis are also an option. M&S thinks that size doesn’t exist…

Just measure round your body right up under your boobs with a tape measure. That would give you a very basic start point for your back size.
The band can feel tight because the cup size is too small, not because the back size is too small.

If you put the 38 band on backwards, is it still tight?

Try Belle Lingerie - they have 28 and 30 up to K
https://www.belle-lingerie.co.uk/

They have a big range of sizes up to KK in some styles

Go to bravissimo or speak to them online

But you haven't said if while you were trying on the 34, you also went up a cup size (or two). That's really important as it's all about proportionality. I couldn't get a 38 B round me if I tried. But 38 E is fine.

If you were buying a plain t-shirt from somewhere like Next or M&S, what size would you buy? If you have any in your cupboard, put one on and look at it objectively in the mirror. Are the shoulders way too wide for you - this is something I have to be careful of and even more so pre surgery in that if I went up too many sizes to accommodate my breasts, it was droopy and big on the sleeves because it was made for someone with a much larger overall frame than me.

When you look at yourself in the mirror, I assume you are top heavy because of your breasts, but look at the rest of your body - is your waist/back/bum significantly wider than your hips/legs? And what size do you wear on bottom? Because again, that will give you a better sense of whether you are wearing a bigger size due to your breasts, or because you genuinely need it.

A quick check for your band size is to put your bra on backwards. The band size is nothing to do with your boobs; just your torso. The band should fit comfortably but not loose when you have the bra on backwards.

Once you have a starting point for the band size, you'll probably find you need to go up a lot of cup sizes because up until now you've been wearing a big band to compensate for too-small cups.

Go to a shop like bravissimo where they'll have a lot of larger sizes for you to try.

When you say the 38 back fits OP - if you turn it around (so the cups are at your back), how much can you pull the band out? It shouldn't be very far. The back size is the measurement around your torso. I'm a size 22/24 and I wear a 38 back, to give you some idea.
What generally happens is that you have a cup size that is too small, the band feels too tight, and you assume the band is the problem and go up a band. This then offers you no support (because the majority of the support is in the band) and so bras are unflattering and often uncomfortable too.

I've never got on with Boob or Bust. I'm narrow backed with big boobs. It doesn't work for me.

I really dislike boob or bust and figure it’s why so many women on here dislike wearing bras and feel they are uncomfortable, you always end up with a too small strap digging in.

Sympathies OP.

Putting in some time and research will pay off. Bravissimo for high street bras in wide range of sizes and styles, and they have well trained fitters who you can phone/ask online if you can’t get to one of their shops.

Ample Bosom - mail order, very old fashioned website, they do some makers that Bravissimo don’t do, including the expensive but wonderful Ulla Dessous from Germany.

Then dress to flatter your curves - it’s a paradox but if you wear fitted things and v necks, or low square necks, and things that taper at your waist, you look slimmer and better overall. Some people like Fairlie Curved for clothes. If you don’t want to expose your chest in cold weather with a v neck, divide up your chest vertically with a thin open cardigan.

The oversexualising of your boobs dies down as you get older IME.

As others have said, you need to go to the boob or bust site and measure yourself, or visit somewhere like bravissimo. You likely need a much tighter band (as a starting point, measure around your rib cage under your bust and pull the tape really tight - that should be your band size) then adjust cup size upwards accordingly.

I'm a size 14 and although I've tried the 'go up a cup size and have a smaller band' thing several times I just can't tolerate a tight band round my back. I've broken ribs before and after a couple of hours my back is really hurting. So I wear a 38 band too.

You know that if you are wearing a 38 EE and you try a band size down, you need to go a bra size up? So you can't just try a 36 EE. You'd need to try a 36 F or a 34G.

After I had my reduction, a few years later having gained a bit of weight I put some real effort in and lost a lot of weight. Probably the only time since my early 20s I was properly slim. I remember crying my eyes out as on one of those bra measuring services, I was now down to a 30EE or something like that. It felt so MASSIVE, even though objectively, I was smaller, in all ways - including my breasts - than I had been since I was a teenager!

Please get measured. I've regularly been measured since a teen and I've still gone from a 32G to a 30JJ! And I'm a size 10-12.

If you have a bravissimo local to you they can really help you.

But your feelings about being 'booby' are very valid, I've never minded really but the last couple of years I've come to hate how they're always in the way, clothes just don't sit right on me and they're always 'out' even when I've trying for them not to be.

I just asked because often the bands are too high and the front not into the sternum and the existing bra can be a good starting point for the starting point.

Of course suddenly OP is a size 16 and not a 12 so it’s all a bit ridiculous anyway.

Bravissimo are brilliant. I’m a 38K

Agree, there is absolutely no reason for her to post that picture.

As everyone else says, get a proper fitting. Bravissimo do it really well, they don’t measure you, just bring loads of sizes in to work out what you need. John Lewis is pretty good too.

Im 12/14, and have a 32 band.