Stepson behaviour

@Mum2bambinos you really do need to involve the police and also get an interdict out so they cannot come to your house at all!! this is going to get a lot worse and you know that! you need to look after your young children. they are your priority! not those two assholes!! It is your house!

I do hope you can contact Womens Aid and come up with a workable plan for yourself. Neither DP or his kid are going to make it easy. I hope you have some people who can help support you with this.

Not married and presumably not in a civil partnership with your DP; if that's the case and the house is yours, you should be able to evict him and his violent son without fear of any comeback.

Judging by what you've said, though, involving the police will be essential in getting rid of them - and you would be wise to make sure your dog is protected from him. It's well known violent types like your DP and his son think nothing of being cruel to defenceless animals.

(I've not read other responses and apologise if I'm repeating what's already been said.)

OP you are in an abusive relationship with your partner and his son is abusive too.

Here’s the number for National domestic violence helpline. 08082000247 it’s open 24hrs and free to call.

Please take care of yourself and your children.

Hes broken your fingers and punched you and your partner is shouting at you for not tidying his bedroom for him?! Wtf am i reading!!! They BOTH need to leave your home before that little bastard ends up hurting one of your children or worse...your partner should be ashamed! And the 16 year old does clearly need some help but he also needs to learn consequences of his seriously bad behaviour before its too late.

He hit you and broke your fingers. He now knows nothing will happen when he is violent. Who do you think who he will hurt next, your daughter or your son? Broken fingers, arms, black eyes or sexual assault?

Your partner isn’t fulfilling his parental role, don’t fall into the same trap, start parenting by telling them both to leave your house and your children’s home.

What?
They both need to leave
Now
The ds16 needs help to turn this around but is not your responsibility

They should have left , been kicked out, after this

has broken my fingers; punched me and left bruises on my hands and face. He trapped me in his bedroom and attempted to smash me over the head with TV remote whilst blocking my exit.

I really feel for you OP, and you are clearly traumatised by what is happening to you and your family, which I think is why you haven't actually reported this previously. However, now that you have hopefully read the responses on here, and seen that EVERY SINGLE ONE has said to get rid of this man and his son, before you or your children are hurt again, you have now realised that this really IS what you need to do! Personally, I wouldn't actually phone the police while either of them are in the house, for fear of them hearing and being violent, but if the shit hits the fan again tonight, get your children and yourself out of the house, and go to the nearest police station. Report what has gone on, and ask for their help to remove these people who you have already asked to leave your home. Tell them that they have refused to leave, and have told you that you will have to get the police if you want them to go.

I know that you probably weren't expecting this response when you posted, perhaps in your own mind you had tried to rationalise it in some way, BUT you really DO need to take action on this NOW!!

Once they have gone, do please come back and tell us so that we know that you and your children are safe.

@Mum2bambinos

he said if you want me to leave you’ll have to ring the police. Which he knows I probably wouldn’t do.

Serious question and I'm NOT being snarky: Why wouldn't you?

Why would you tolerate anyone ruining the wonderful home you worked so hard for? Why are you allowing someone to physically harm you? Why are you allowing someone to treat you with such contempt and disrespect? And by 'someone' I mean both of them.

Please take a moment to think about what your own children are seeing and hearing. Think about how they feel, what they are learning.

Go to the police station, speak to a community officer or whatever you call the officers who handle domestic issues. Explain the situation and ask them what they can do to help you remove these two assholes from your home. Then do it. Send your two DC to a friend or relatives house to get them out of the house, then just do it.

if its your house, he has no legal right to stay if you don't want him to. If he says call the police, call the police. Violence is taking place in your home, domestic violence. Reach out to a charity as I suspect your DP son us not the only one abusing you.

I totally agree with contacting Women's Aid about this. You really do need support.

Please remember that a woman is most at risk when she is trying to leave or trying to make an abuser leave.

Op, if you are UK, call women's aid and they can advise you. You and your children are very unsafe the minute you demand they leave. You need police and other protective services but make sure he's not reading your online social.

I agree with that.

Bad temper and moods are one thing but violence, breaking your fingers, trapping you in a room and threatening you, are terrible! The boy is an abusive monster. You wouldn't take that from your own child, never mind your stepson.

He must go and your useless, unsupportive partner too. Not only is the situation dreadful, and frightening, for you, it is bad for your children to have to live in such an environment.

I realise it will not be easy for you but try to get some support from a relative or close friend, preferably more than one, who can be with you when you tell your partner to leave. Also find somewhere safe to go while they move themselves out. They can find somewhere to rent, it's not unusual for relationships to end and partners with children rent somewhere to live. They don't have to tell the prospective landlord the details of your split, just that they have separated and need a place. As long as partner is in work it should not be difficult.

You have to be strong, op, and not be browbeaten by this uncaring and abusive pair. It will be a great relief when they are out of your life.

Someone will probably say the boy needs help and I agree with that. However, it is not up to you to facilitate that, you have obviously tried and you need to protect yourself and your family.

Good luck and be assured we are all rooting for you on here. If necessary, contact a womens' aid organisation who will help and advise.

And don't think this is solely your stepson's behaviour. Your partner has enabled this right from the get-go. A decent man would be mortified at all aspects of his son's behaviour. This man is blaming you for it.

Your partners correct, you may very well have all this to come - if you allow your children to watch your stepson act like this with no repricussions. There is a chance that they will model his behaviour. Please do not put your children through the trauma of listening to this and seeing their mother being punched/fingers broken etc. Domestic violence has a horrific affect on children.

Get the pair of them out. And if another assault occurs before you chuck them out, call 999.

I am really sorry. This is not normal behaviour. You are being physically assaulted, and mentally tormented by this teenager.
His father is aiding and abetting this behaviour.
This is your home. You should be safe and so should your children.
I have never suggested this on here but they both have to leave ASAP.
Keep safe
Good luck

This is domestic violence, OP. You really need to involve the police and have them both removed. Can you think where they could go to? I know it's not your problem but it makes life a lot easier if they can go to relatives. Personally I'd then get a Ring doorbell and a new set of locks and if they then cause trouble I'd go for a restraining order against them. But this is so much easier if you've logged these assaults with the police.

Did you go to hospital? If so, what did you say caused those injuries?

Shit example for your children. He’s broken your fingers, pretty sure broken bones=GBH. Why are him and his frankly useless father still living in YOUR house?

Is there a medical report about the broken finger?
You have asked them to leave and been told the only way they are going is if you call the police. So call the police and get rid of them.
Your children don’t deserve to see this type of behaviour and you don’t deserve to be abused in YOUR own home.

Ring the police op. Get them both out. They're both abusing you.

Your DP doesn't care about you. If he did he wouldn't be supporting his son's behaviour.

If you can't ring the police for yourself at least do it for your kids. This is so unfair on them. You run a very real risk of them being screwed up being exposed to this sort of environment.

Hi this sounds awful I'm so sorry you are going through this. What did DP do when ss assaulted and injured you? It may be worth getting some advice from domestic abuse services as they aren't just for partners/husbands.

' I have asked them to leave. Which doesn’t go down well. In the argument he said if you want me to leave you’ll have to ring the police. Which he knows I probably wouldn’t do. '

Calling the police is precisely what you need to do. Sorry to be harsh here - but by not calling the police you are not protecting your children. Or yourself.

There will come a time when your own DS will either try to protect you and get beaten down in response or, and be prepared for this, learn that he too can abuse you like DSS.

It’s not normal - my dc have never vandalised his room, left pizza boxes stacking up, punched parents (wtf!) etc. Yes, rooms can be messy, but they do tidy it up.