To be really upset about this pic

Read intuitive eating. For each principle of it take a week or 2 to really try and master it. Worked for me.

I'm only like a month perhaps less where I am not binge eating. I am still perhaps over eating when my emotions get the better of me but it's much better and much rarer. Generally I'm eating good . I don't know for certain how I did it because binge eating it was so hard for me. It was almost like something in my brain was wired to eat like none stop . But I just took a step back. And the thing is you have to be kind to yourself and supportive. I remember sometimes having a massive binge and almost crying because our weight and image does effect us. It is a society obsessed with looks. What I did was I regularly ate good meals or maybe a meal with a bit extra on but I followed a schedule. Breakfast at say 6 am big bowl of porridge. Lunch at 11 soup and two slices of bread. Snack on some bananas when energy is low. And dinner always try to have something good . Potato jacket etc . You start doing it day in day out . At first it's very difficult but the more you do it the easier it is. It's almost like you rewire your mind. You realize you can make yourself happier being healthy. It's not easy tho. For me I could eat 5 jam donuts in like 2 mins. It does make you very happy and then very sad. You have to break the cycle.No question. One of the hardest things I've done . I'm not out the woods yet . But my mind it's like just have 1 pack of crisp now instead of like 10 at times.

She did that on purpose I'm sure. Knowing you was feeling insecure. Take time with yourself. Is it binge eating the problem? I had that for most of this year. Just now getting it sorted. The thing you need is patience and kindness for yourself. When you get upset and angry you make yourself feel terrible and eat more.

Just saw your update. Very positive.

The op is allowed to have an opinion about an unflattering photo of herself being posted publicly and to express that opinion. If she says nothing it could happen every time she goes and she ends up not attending again, which would be a shame.
No one is saying she should cause a scene, but there are ways to mention it to get her message across. The op shouldn't be told off for making a fuss and told to keep quiet and put up with it like a doormat.

The reason I said to ignore it is not just because you should breeze past it (you should, but I know how hard that is) but because anything you do will draw attention to it. Let it fall off the page, I hate my phone storage getting full up of Chat photos so I don't put them in camera roll and regularly delete them.

Exactly. Right now it's a molehill everyone else has already walked past. Any response turns it into a mountain that will just get the photo looked at far more.

I totally understand how you feel, believe me I’ve been there. But I wasn’t sure how to vote because although I think the lady was insensitive to go against your wishes, no one will give it a second thought and will be scrolled past without all the negative thoughts that you are having about yourself. It’s not worth asking them to taking it down that will actually draw more attention to it which you don’t want.

If you saw a photo of someone else, another mum at the school, pulling a funny face whilst helping out what would you think?

I can tell you if I saw another mum helping out, getting involved and wearing a Christmas headband, I’d think good on ‘em, they look like fun, I bet the kids love her. I certainly wouldn’t be having negative, mean thoughts about how they look, please try not to think those things about yourself, I’m sure you’d never think such nasty things about another person, please try to be kind to yourself.

OP lots of good suggestions but I just want to say I totally relate. I hate photos of myself and I would also have asked her not to post one of me. The fact she did when she had said she wouldn’t is just not ok and I find it hard to believe that she was just busy or forgot - it takes a deliberate action to post a pic and you can see who’s in it. I would be upset in your shoes and I think it’s fine to ask her to delete it, whatever you do decide. If she really forgot, she’d be happy to make the change.

As others have said, a bad photo doesn’t sum you up and you can rise above it and move on. I hope you feel better soon

This is bizarre. It's incredibly unlikely that anyone will say anything about this photo.

No-one cares. (Except OP). No-one will remember it. (Except OP)

If it did happen, the worst thing OP could do was slag off this woman (who probably just forgot or didn't notice the photo when uploading in bulk) and make a massive deal out of it. That would be remembered.

I would be very angry that she has done this and would tell her that you want it deleted. Irrespective of how good or bad I feel about my appearance I have only ever used one photo of myself, on a private forum, and have never shared a photo of a family member online, and don't think anyone has the right to post photos of someone else without their permission.

I guarantee that the other person in the photo with you will be more concerned with how they look than you. Every other person in the group will quickly scroll past because they're not in it. We only tend to focus on ourselves in photos, no one is bothered about people they don't know that well.

Ridiculous. It's far more likely to have been an oversight because she was busy and not really listening than anything malicious. "Total bitch territory" is a very silly overreaction.

Just want to say your not ugly and as disgusting as the person who rode all over your feelings, I think you should front it out and anyone who says anything just tell them the truth you asked for pictures of you not to be used and they were by a horrible person the sooner everyone know what this person is capable of the better

I think she probably forgot and just uploaded all the photos. I would send a message and ask for the photo to be removed. In future, if she or anyone else takes a photo of you, ask them to delete it immediately and watch while they do it. I had to hide from an abusive ex and had this issue more than once. You have the right to privacy.

I would message and say “ hi …. further to our chat yesterday where I asked for photos of me not to be taken / posted , would you kindly take down the one that you’ve just posted please . Sorry to be a nuisance but I am not in favour of having my photos on social media - thanks for understanding….”
She is out of order for ignoring your request . It doesn’t matter what the reasons for this are ( you could be fleeing DV and don’t want to be identified) she should not have done this against your wishes

I agree. You spoke to her beforehand, she agreed, and now she's done this. Total bitch territory and now you know to be on your guard with her.

Op I know it’s annoying but I’m not sure I’d ask for deletion

Do you take much notice of other pics? As people may feel similarly but I don’t think people take much notice anyway

So reverse that, others may not notice your pic

That's what I do and did recently. I went to a group night out. A woman I don't know posted a terrible pic on Facebook of me looking down. I looked like jabba the hutt. Not being big headed but I'm decent looking and pretty glamorous but a bit overweight. She's very overweight. The pic was awful. We were in a group chat prior to the night out and I pointed out about the photo but didn't act upset. I even sent it to friends saying don't I look stunning. Friends thought she'd photoshopped it but I hadn't thought of that? They said it didn't even look like me. It was. Everyone can take bad photos. My profile isn't as good as the front.

Please be kind to yourself OP. If you're really unhappy about your appearance maybe see what can be done to help your self esteem? Do you exercise much? I find when I'm more toned I feel better about myself. Good skincare helps too.

Absolutely ask her to take it down. She has no right to post your picture up without your permission.

Which is still drawing more attention to it and making a minor incident into a saga. Nobody is going to be thinking anything about the original photo but a message like that makes into a thing and will make people start talking about it. Yes everyone has the right to not have photos of themselves anywhere but I assume OP wants to stop people looking at it rather than sending a message that will make people scroll back to look at it again wondering what all the fuss is about.

Have you ever organised a PTA fair? I have, and I was usually running around like a headless chicken, dealing with loads of requests simultaneously like more change, supplies etc. At the same time, snapping some pics of our volunteers to show them they’re appreciated. In the heat of the moment, I’m sure she did agree not to post. Then she promptly forgot. It doesn’t mean she’s a bitch, and all the other stuff she’s been called on here. How she looks is irrelevant.

I hate being photographed. I see myself in the pic as being fat and ugly. Friends might post a pic of me saying how great I look. It’s my hang up, not theirs.

My various group chats receive loads of pics. I scan them to see if our family/my son etc are in them, then delete.

Btw, it’s easy to set up WhatsApp so that shared pics don’t go into your personal gallery.

"Hello, please can you remove the photo of me on the group chat. You will remember that I asked you not to post photos of me"

No need to give her reasons. You didn't need to give her any reasons in the first place. "Please don't post photos of me on social media" should be sufficient.

Thank you. Another poster was horrified at the suggestion 😀