My daughter aged 9 is a girlguide – currently a Brownie.
At the end of the term up to Christmas and at the end of the Summer Term, the Brownies and Guides (7 to 14 year olds) go to local shelter accommodation, nursing/care homes or to a charity such as the local food bank – this is instead of a normal meeting for the last week.
They help out; packing boxes at the food bank and loading cars for those who can’t get out, they walk deliveries locally or they make cups of tea and serve up food and fold sheets or similar at homes at Christmas they also do all that and put on a short carol concert. They are always 100% supervised by the leaders and staff at the places they go to but they do not get a badge for this, they do as part of the community.
My DD absolutely loves doing this. They do not have to take a gift but can take a gift of chocolate or flowers to the homes or a donation to the food bank/charity – they can be a monetary gift but can also be food/toiletries or toys if the charity dictates that, which my DD always insists she does – if she didn’t she’d be one of only 2 girls who don’t do it and she’s keen to be like her friends.
I make her pay for this out of her pocket money if she chooses to take something that I don’t already have in my house. I obviously tell her no more than £5 and top up above that amount if she wants something more than that, but I expect her to pay for it. I love that she gets the opportunities to see people less fortunate than us, but I also think she should learn the value of money and show that £5 can make a massive difference to someone’s day.
I pay for her subs of £100 a year with no quibbles, I pay for her to go on camps twice a year, I pay for her two other activities which cost me circa £65 a month. She gets £20 a month pocket money, which is purely for her fun things; magazines, sweets above what I/her dad buy her etc. I buy everything else she needs. I also volunteer regularly at Brownies and her school so she is seeing that I make sacrifices to.
ExH (DDs dad) thinks it’s part of the expense of Brownies/Girlguides and I should factor into my spending on it. He says her pocket money is her money, as I take it out of her CB and DLA (she has some health issues, which again are well accommodated at School and Brownies so I think she should show her leaders she appreciates the effort by making a small sacrifice herself)
I think it’s £10 per year she has to give up out of the £240 she has for herself and that’s hardly anything especially as I pay for her to have such a nice life.
So whose right?
YANBU – Keep making her pay the £10
YABU – ExH is right
In case its relevant ExH doesn’t pay any maintenance (a whole other thread) so all money coming into the house is “mine” from my wages, plus CB and DLA which is of course DDs money.