A Friends request

We have pets and a swimming pool (no spa or eggs, though!).

When we go away, we hire a petsitter - they don't stay in the house, but they do have use of the pool. We pay them and they tend to reduce their normal rate a bit (their suggestion) because of the use of the pool.

I've looked into getting a live-in housesitter/petsitter for holidays, and can confirm that you absolutely need to pay the sitter. They do not pay you! Your friend is sounding pretty cheeky.

I'm also surprised that your friend would leave pets for 6 weeks at a time. I wouldn't do that, personally.

This
I would be a no from me. Having 2 friends share responsibility is fine.
A whole load of different folks with access to an empty house for 6 weeks is a recipe for disaster. Not sure what their house insurance would make of it either.

Out of interest what exactly does this spa facility entail ?
She is a huge CF expecting people to pay her for the privilege of feeding her pets and staying in her house, also I'd be wary of anyone putting their dog in kennels for 6 weeks (when they could afford other options) that's just sad so I'd be giving her a wide birth just based on those facts.

@BullAndDoring

if her priority was her so called pets ( must be more than chickens) welfare she would not go away a lot and defo not for 6 weeks.

she sounds rather wealthy and self centred to be frank.

Offering to be back up is the worst possible job.

She needs to hire a pet sitter.
Sending round a spreadsheet takes a hell of a lot of nerve.

I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. Apart from the fact that it's better for the animals, particularly the cats, if they don't get a parade of different people going in... what if something gets broken or goes missing? If the pool maintenance isn't done properly? You've got a group of randoms you've never met playing blame games with you.

You and your mate offered to do cover the whole holiday and it was accepted. If she thought it would be helpful for more people to get involved she should have asked you two if it would be.

It sounds (from her point of view) that it’s more about “aren’t I being good offering the use of the facilities” rather than about feeding the pets. She’s lining you all up (spreadsheet) to show off her home. Course the animals need feeding but to use the word “available” or whatever smacks of “look at me, aren’t I good”

I can't believe she wanted to charge people to stay in her house !

I'd stay well out of it, that many people something is bound to go wrong and she seems exactly the type to kick up a big fuss.

Sorry if I'm be misread but is your friend wanting rent from you all to use her facilities?

My friend works as a professional house sitter but this is in France, she is retired so just does this as and when and does stay in some lovely houses with pools but they pay her.

I would be worried if I didn’t know the other people that if something goes wrong, gets broken etc then who is responsible. So whilst spreading the love and eggs seems like a good idea the other people could be idiots. Leave the chicken coup unlocked, break a vase, leave the pool dirty.

DH family had a home with a few acres that had been in the family for a few generations. It was sadly sold a few years ago but was used by all branches as a holiday retreat. One year it was agreed that a friend of an Aunt could use it, well that was a disaster. As soon as the numbers rise the ratio of idiots to acceptable people will likely rise.

I think she's actually tried to be more considerate towards you two. She's recognised 5 weeks favour is alot and has tried to share the load amongst those who are willing to in a practical and sensible way. What's wrong with a spreadsheet?! It avoids a hundred different texts and calls trying to coordinate all your calenders and makes total sense!

She could’ve communicated the change better but tbh 6 weeks is a long time to look after animals and I’d be glad that others were helping too.

I agree with this. She's asked a massive favour, then chances the terms. I think she thinks she's doing your a favour with the offer of the pool and spa.

I'd said her a breezy message like the above.

Can you imagine potentially 8 people having a key to your house? Doesn't bear thinking about.
I can see the reasoning behind it but also understand OPs position on it. But that many people on a rota might encourage one or two volunteers to not turn up on their day thinking the animals would be okay as someone is going in tomorrow!!

If I were you, I'd have a chat with B and find out if they still want to look after the animals and have access to the pool and spa (if they still want to use both knowing that others could/would be there)

I'd have to reply with something like this:
"Hi CF Friend,
I have had a chat with B and we've both decided to turn down the generous offer of working and looking after your animals for you while you're away for 6 weeks. Neither of us objected to sharing the work equally between us but now that you have more people looking to help you, we can back out, knowing that you have plenty of people to work for you over the 6 weeks. Have a wonderful trip knowing that your animals are being well looked after by the countless volunteers you have managed to get lined up. Happy Christmas!"

(adjust the above if it is only you that is backing out but if you back out would B back out too do you think?).

A wealthy entitled cf by the sounds of it. No wonder you're miffed. I wouldn't want to help out all considered

Six weeks when you have animals is a ridiculously long time - and a huge ask - to expect people to look after everything. There are people who will happily house sit for nothing more than the use of the house. We do it. It's so much less stress than expecting friends and neighbours to step up.

Unexpected things do happen with animals, a past cat limped home with a serious injury on day one of our holiday. Noble friend had to take him to the vet for treatment every day. If her set up goes wrong, who will be responsible, I'd stay politely well clear. It's quite careless about the animals too. They will notice and perhaps be disturbed by her absence.

Tbh, she reminds me of someone I know who is quite self centred and a bit of a user. I used to look after her dog when we were neighbours, over a number of years the number of animals increased. I still didn't mind until I was introduced at one of her parties as the dog sitter. I found out at the same party that she was keeping a book of exchanges with her newly acquired cleaner as a memento! Talk about Downton Abbey!

Just txt and say to her to fill the lovely animal caring availability to the Other lucky helpers.

Yes just say hey w just cover the other two days with someone else glad you have loads of extra helpers this time .
Enjoy your trip 😊

She sounds very entitled .

If they were my pets that I were leaving for six weeks, I would much rather have two committed, responsible and familiar friends caring for them, friends who know the pets well by now, rather than eight, six of whom might just be in it for pool time and free eggs, and maybe don’t really know one end of a cat from another.
I think she must be feeling guilty about using you all the time and tried to spread the load but I think she has gone about the whole thing the wrong way and made it far too complicated. It could easily be detrimental to the pets. In my opinion, she hasn’t put the animals first.
Yes, I too, would also find the ‘available’ comment unthinking and inappropriate and a bit entitled.
Best to stay well clear of the spread sheet. Sharing the responsibility of the animals welfare with one other volunteer person you can trust is very different to sharing responsibility with six others you don’t know.
YANBU.

I don't really understand your reaction tbh.

Either you think you're doing her a favour, in which case, you're now mostly off the hook, so that's good, isn't it? Because there is less for you to do?

Or you originally agreed to do it because of the perks involved in using the pool and spa, and you're now annoyed by the fact that you and B won't have exclusive use of those facilities.

Six weeks is a significant commitment so if this was just about doing her a favour, most people would be relieved to be able to share the burden. But your friend has people queuing up to help, so she has sussed the fact that people see it as an attractive proposition. I reckon her use of the term "available" is probably about right.

If you don't want to help on the basis of being one of many, just say that you're unable to cover the days in question.