Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Secret Santa gate

36 replies

JBright · 05/12/2023 09:55

Okay first world problem here, so we have a secret Santa set up at work. Limit is £5 and as I don’t know the person I’ve been selected for very well, I bought them some lovely biscuits (who doesn’t like nice biscuits?) which cost £7, being generous lol. So AFTER I bought the biscuits, I get an email saying they have added a “wish list”. Who on earth makes a wish list for secret Santa?! I click and they have added a specific link to a specific candle they want on Etsy. £6.00. So, I’m not buying it for them, I already paid for the biscuits. Really though its the principle, it feels so presumptuous of them. Plus doesn’t a wish list suck out all the (albeit minimal) joy of secret Santa. Am I being unreasonable? This is someone who never answers my emails by the way!

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Abouttoblow · 06/12/2023 00:03

It's a fiver FFS!

If you can't deal with receiving a secret santa gift that you don't like that cost a fiver you need to have a word with yourself.

And opt out next year.

HeddaGarbled · 05/12/2023 23:21

Actually, I think a wish list is a really good idea. There’s another thread on a workplace Secret Santa going on at the moment and all anyone can think of to buy female colleagues are candles and pot plants. You can find another use for the biscuits.

saraclara · 05/12/2023 23:16

The secret Santa that I've done for years comes with a list like this that we can complete

Allergies?
Favourite/disliked colours?
Sweet or savoury?
Alcohol or no?
Loves
Hates

That at least gives the Santas a bit more confidence that they won't get it horribly wrong..

JingsMahBucket · 05/12/2023 23:13

Biscuits are such a lazy gift really.

familyissues12345 · 05/12/2023 23:06

I'd quite like a wish list option. I'm tricky to buy for - limited diet (veggie), with an allergy plus I'm tee total. So I dread SS, having to look delighted for receiving a box of Ferraro Roche and a bottle of wine is so embarrassing.

My work doesn't even do a named SS, we're a small team, all women of a similar age, we're just picking a present out of a bag. I hate it but feel bah humbug if I say anything..

justasmalltownmum · 05/12/2023 23:05

PippyLongTits · 05/12/2023 10:06

Give the biscuits. The candle is only a suggestion.

This

Headshoulderscheeseontoast · 05/12/2023 22:58

Are you sure she can eat the biscuits? 😄 I avoid food and drink gifts now for people I don't know well as so many people have intolerances, allergies etc

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 05/12/2023 22:38

Wish lists are great, I don't know why you wouldn't want one, especially for a person you don't know well?

She's put a candle on there. It's a suggestion - find another that's within budget that looks/smells similar.

Without a list you end up getting a nice pack of shortbread which I don't dislike but wouldn't choose to eat. Or a set of cheap nail polishes because 'you always have nice nails' not realising I get gels done for me. Or a box of Roses that I don't like.

None of that is too much of an issue of course. But it is nicer to get something you truly like!

StaunchMomma · 05/12/2023 22:24

Who cares if Pauline would like a pair of fingerless gloves - she's getting an inflatable santa hat with velcro attachments and she will be getting pelted with fluffy snowballs for the foreseeable!!

bananamangoes · 05/12/2023 22:23

Give biscuits or find a candle for £5 in a shop

No mean feat though

bananamangoes · 05/12/2023 22:19

Oh gawd

£5 gift. What IS the point?

ActDottie · 05/12/2023 21:47

The candle is over budget and with postage even more! It was cheeky she even added it to her list.

Id ignore the wish list. We do secret Santa in our family and use the wish list function but only because it’s our main present and budget of £50. But it seems very OTT for a £5 secret Santa.

strawberry2017 · 05/12/2023 21:41

Wish lists are great.
I don't drink and I cba with candles which are go to gifts when people don't know you well.
Neither of which I would want to receive.
Wish lists help people when they aren't close to the people who they have to buy for.

Nonplusultra · 05/12/2023 21:37

Does the £6 include the postage?
I’d stick with the biscuits

Didimum · 05/12/2023 21:34

I think you are being unreasonable. Gifting random things the recipient doesn’t actually want for the sheer sake of gifting is so wasteful. So many things end up in the bin or in a charity shop. It’s pointless.

Disclaimer: I don’t actually care that much.

Brird · 05/12/2023 21:30

I've been asked by whoever is giving me a secret Santa gift to put something on a wish list. It's one of those website based secret Santa things.

I thought I would be able to give a generic suggestion like 'candle' but it links through to actual Etsy etc gifts. It takes away the whole point of it. I want a surprise! If I wanted a £5 specific candle I'd just go ahead and buy it. Now I feel like I'm making work for them by not going through and finding my own gift.

caringcarer · 05/12/2023 11:58

Hadjab · 05/12/2023 10:44

We've been doing Secret Santa for years at work, and have always had a Wishlist. The spend was a fiver. I put an ostrich pillow on my list for a laugh - my psycho boss claims she managed to get it within budget...

https://ostrichpillow.co.uk/products/original-napping-pillow?variant=35879580106916&gad_source=1&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIpvjH-I34ggMVyeTtCh0VQA3IEAQYASABEgIF0PD_BwE

That looks so claustrophobic.

Renamed · 05/12/2023 11:57

I like it if people make suggestions if EVERYONE does and not at the last minute. And it does tend to put people off buying “hilarious” items like ball scratchers which make the whole thing a bit grim.

Tbry · 05/12/2023 11:09

Don’t worry it’s a secret Santa gift supppsed to be a bit of fun. Also it’s secret so they don’t know who bought the biscuits.

ManateeFair · 05/12/2023 11:08

In my old office, which was the last place I worked that did Secret Santa, the office manager set up a spreadsheet where people could put suggestions of the kinds of stuff they liked, but it was just for inspiration rather than an actual wishlist of specific items. So it would say 'Christine - loves cats, drinks red wine' or 'Phil - crime fiction, cheese, socks' or 'James - resusable coffee cup, notebook'

RaininSummer · 05/12/2023 10:56

I expect the candle is six pounds plus postage costs anyway so likely to be nearer ten pounds. Give them biscuits .

Jasmin1971 · 05/12/2023 10:55

A wish list is not what I would describe as secret. Giver the biscuits 🤣

Differentstarts · 05/12/2023 10:54

I'd gift the biscuits to someone else and buy the candle but your not wrong for not doing that

PosteriorPosterity · 05/12/2023 10:54

The system we use practically forces you to add a wish list, and so if she has mindlessly followed the emails sent to her then I can see why she’s added a wish list.

I wouldn’t worry about it though, I see it more or “if you have no idea then get this” rather than an instruction to buy that specific candle.

Swipe left for the next trending thread