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AIBU?

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Original poster

School mornings

54 replies

cloverclover65 · 01/12/2023 12:11

2 boys in primary. DH is with us every morning before he WFH at 9. They have breakfast at around 7:45. I call them to the kitchen for breakfast twice. He’s sitting on the sofa with them showing them something on his phone or chatting or watching TV with them which is nice but he can hear me. I literally have to peel them away. He will only tell them to go into the kitchen after I’ve called 3 times and I’m being ignored by all.

He does get them to go into the bathroom around 8:15 but he just makes sure they’ve washed their hands then they go downstairs and I have to remind them to do their teeth so I’m bad Mummy sending them back upstairs again. Sometimes he starts a game with them at this point whilst I'm trying to make sure we have everything. Then he has a shower in the downstairs bathroom right as we are about to leave at 8:30 so I can’t get things I need or last min loo etc.

He's not great at telling if it's a good time or not but he knows how long it takes them to get ready and we’ve talked about what works best for us before. He's WFH for years. It’s not like he won’t see them for a few days. He can sit with them after they have eaten and dressed or after school as he works from home and sees them then. It’s all on his timetable. AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
cloverclover65 · 01/12/2023 12:53

I've just told him about the shower and he said he'll shower earlier.

When I told him the kids are grumpy at me for getting them to do teeth after they've already been in the bathroom and if he wants to sort them out then can he get them to wash and do teeth at same time as that works better for all of us, he huffed and said ok.

He's called them 'my rules' in the past when all I've done is ask him nicely if we can change xyz as it doesn't work for me and the kids.

OP posts:
Valeriesknickknacks · 01/12/2023 12:52

Could he get up earlier with them so they have time before school? I get really frustrated with my DC lack of urgency in the morning, but one way that has improved is by getting up earlier so they have time for a play in the bath or an episode of something on TV or a whatever before school.
What are you keeping in the loo that you need to go and get? Could you ask him to wait until you've left or get up earlier to shower when you aren't about to leave the house? Could you keep the things elsewhere?
Could you plan a morning routine together, and then if he goes off plan remind him that you need to stick to the routine to get there on time?
It does sound like he's being thoughtless to you and the smooth running of the morning, but if there is a way for them to get some special time in the morning together then I don't think that's a bad thing so long as it isn't disrupting them actually getting ready. You could use it as an incentive, eg. If you get ready quickly then you can have 10 minutes Tv time together before you leave

VickyEadieofThigh · 01/12/2023 12:43

What does he say when you tell him he's making life difficult and that he needs to be onside with you on this issue?

Wittyname10 · 01/12/2023 12:40

YANBU. All that TV/phone watching etc can be done after the kids are ready to go. Reverse the order? How possible would that be?