Work Christmas do's

I agree. Most mumsnetters seem to be introverts who hate their work colleagues and think that work Christmas dos are the work of the devil.

My reality is that I have a job I love with people I genuinely like and want to socialise with outside of work hours. I am still close friends with someone I used to work with nearly 40 years ago. Are workplaces more toxic now or are people more unsociable now? Or do the sociable people who get on with their workmates not post on mumsnet?

I detest Christmas and do everything I can to avoid any of the ‘festivities’ so you’ve got my permission to swerve!

I’ve got to the stage in my life where I won’t do anything I don’t want to or spend time with people I don’t want. Work people are just that I really don’t want to see them any other time. I like most of them but not enough to spend an evening with them. I don’t even make excuses any more I just say no I’m not going.

I often wonder if my fellow Mumsnetters are the worst colleagues ever. Many of you seem to really dislike the thought of spending any time (even a few hours at Christmas) with people you work with.

I’m guessing it’s just me that has always found really good friends through my workplaces, some I’m still close friends with 35 years later.

We have our ‘do’ two weeks tonight, I’m really looking forward to a great evening with people I like very much and care about.

Am I in the minority?

Yanbu to not go if you don't want to.

My colleagues are lovely and fun people, it's a pleasure to spend time with them. Our job is frantic and high pressure. It's nice to see them and be able to chat about something other than closures and revenue targets.
Ours is black tie and I'm looking forward to a rare opportunity to get glammed up.

Doesn't anyone have real friends at work? I get on really well with my team, im happy to socialise with them outside office hours just as I'm happy to go for drinks with my other friends.

Im really looking forward to our Christmas do. The summer drinks were really fun.

i'm part time and while i don't particularly enjoy christmas dos i swap working days if necessary to attend. well i go to any foof offered and the pub, but if any 'sport' (drts, table tennis and putting have been recent ones) has been arranged i opt out of that and watch as i'm ancient and useless. it's good for team work and bonding. but if it was on a friday night i might think again, there are limits to my endurance, though work has never organised evenings out on Fridays thank goodness.

Of course not. I’ve not been to mine for years (at least 5).

I am not going to my works doo, I enjoy working with my colleagues but make no effort to socialise with them.

I have a lovely colleague, who everytime something social comes up just smiles and says 'Ah, no, it's not for me thank you' if people try to persuade she says 'no, really, I don't want to go, but thank you'. People sometimes speculate about it, but no one gets offended or thinks less of her. She's a good colleague every day of the year and that's more important than whether she turns up on the odd night out or not and it's her day to day behaviour people judge her on.

You are not being unreasonable at all. Just say no

I'm skipping mine, new work place everyone so much younger than me. I cant be bothered , l have made suitable excuse l don't think they will care if l go or not. I'm still having to do the bloody secret Santa though.

I like my work Christmas do's, but we're a small team of 10 who get on and there's no real hierarchy.
Our boss (company owner) takes us out for food and drinks/clubs etc.
It's usually a fun night with a stinky hangover.

Prior to working where I do now I hated them and rarely went.

Work Christmas dos are the seventh circle of hell and definitely to be avoided. One of the best things about going freelance was to escape all that utter nonsense, quite honestly.
OP, just don't go....

I tended to give these a swerve as it was expensive to get/from the venues booked and I disliked having to socialise when I preferred curling up on the sofa with a 🍷 and a good movie, knowing I had just a few steps till I got to bed. Frankly I'd have much preferred the time off or a good gift voucher... 🌹

Loving the use of the word 'fuddle' here. I haven't heard it for ages and it's so fitting! 🤣🤣🍷🍷

I think it’s fine to go or not go, just don’t agree then bail on the day

The do does sound rather joyless. We aren't having a do, just a fuddle at work. Just give your apologies.

YANBU. Not going in mine. Same situation. I live a long way from work and am not on shift on the day they are going out.
Lots of people don’t bother. Usually it’s a case of an over priced average meal and sitting next to someone you don’t know or like. Stop worrying, you’re overthinking it. Enjoy time with your family.

Aww I would love to do those things rather than the usual meal and drinks!

YANBU OP. Having to do it in your own time is crap, imo.

I’ve been to some absolutely amazing Xmas do’s. A few absolutely awful ones. And a bunch of average ones. For me they are part of the whole festive period and I don’t think I’ve ever missed one. But each to their own. If you don’t fancy it, don’t go.

YANBU but I agree with PP I doubt anyone is remotely offended.

I really like my work colleagues so going out with them is a pleasure. In the past I have turned down such events and not thought twice about it.

I've never been to any works do ever .

I want to spend time off doing what i want to do not being with people I have to put up with at work all week

Are you sure it offends them?

I only ask because someone I work with bangs on and on about how she can't go/doesn't want to go/has a family and a second job and no-one understands etc.

Yet genuinely no-one gives it a second thought, because if you can't or don't want to go, it's fair enough and we all understand that.

I have felt differently about work Christmas celebrations throughout my career - mostly depending on whether or not I like my colleagues at the time!

In my current job, my colleagues are lovely and I am really looking forward to the Christmas do. But a few years ago in my previous job, I'd have done anything to get out of it.

No one should be forced or feel obliged to go to a work do in their own time.

I also genuinely can't understand why anyone would be offended that a colleague chose not to go to the Christmas do - it's just not everyone's thing and that's fine.