Denied leave from work bereavement

This. Really sorry for your loss. I'm not sure though if your company are unable to work below a minimum staffing level

please speak to your colleagues

You aren't being unreasonable however I don't think I've picked up on what industry you work on and if this is for example for patient safety?
Everyone grieves differently and I fully appreciate you trying to give yourself the space you may need.
Assume you have checked back in to see if they would be willing to get colleagues to swap?

And I would hate to have you as an employee given your obvious inability to read all posts before singling someone out for a nasty comment. 🙄

I would hate to have you as an employer if you think it is generous to be given a day off for a relatives funeral.

Utterly heartless.

As I have already said, as a manager I'd do this differently. But my employer gives me that authority, and the teams workload isn't inflexible. If it were inflexible I'd be asking those with booked leave if someone would swap. But none of this is about what I would do, what anyone else would do, or what another employer does. The OP has a real life situation, and advice that things should be different, or that lying about being sick is a good idea, isn't very helpful.

I understand employers cannot give unlimited leave to everyone who loses a loved one but I think there should be compassion and a case by case basis. A day after a funeral of a grandparent as annual leave isn’t such a hardship. If I was OP’s manager, I’d do everything in my power to make it happen. She’s not asking for the moon on a stick. A senior manager took the afternoon off after her cat died suddenly. We are humans, not robots!

if a colleague asked me to swap and I didn’t have any pressing issues like childcare, I would 100% do it. @welshwonderful Might be worth sending an email to the team so nobody feels face to face pressure but maybe someone has booked a day off and wouldn’t mind. I’m sorry for your loss. 💐

Oddly, Google can find only one UK example, introduced a few months ago. Searching wider seems to suggest that less than 1% of US companies offer it. And I can find absolutely nobody saying that this is now recognised good practice - quite the reverse, I can find a lot of people saying that they wouldn't offer it because (a) why would anyone come back if they are paid to never come back and (b) even larger multinationals suggest that it wouldn't fit operational models. And that's from companies that offer significantly more than the law requires.

By the way, I'm a trained researcher, so if be really grateful if you could direct us all to a list of companies that offer it, as I'm sure we'd all be considering applying to them. Anecdotal information isn't really evidence of anything. According to various threads on this site, 90% of posters earn over £150k. Which makes this a very rarefied site since nowhere near that amount of the population earn so much.

I'm not arguing that employers shouldn't be flexible or caring. I specifically asked one poster to evidence the fact that they claimed best practice is now limitless bereavement leave. Five weeks sick leave is not limitless bereavement leave. I don't argue a race to the bottom, but limitless is quite an ambition. Five years? With pay? My own employers sick leave is six months full pay and six months half pay. And they wouldn't force a return within that period of time because our terms determine that entitlement. But they'd be looking for a return at the end of that 12 months if not before. And they would begin processes to terminate if that wasn't happening.

Yeah, I'm with you on this, I'm honestly surprised at some of the experiences I've seen here. When my grandad died 10 years ago (for context, this grandad pretty much stepped in as my father figure as my actual father wasn't around that much) the funeral was in a different part of the country, and ended up falling on the day before Coworker #1 was due to go on a long since planned trip abroad. Technically it would have been possible for me to get home on the night of the funeral to then go in the next day rather than stay overnight with some of the family, but my then-manager told me to go ahead and take what I needed. Then two days before the funeral, Coworker #2's partner abruptly left her and she ended up taking all the rest of that week off. With that leaving very short staffing, part of me wondered if I should try and come back after all, but she still told me to go ahead, take the time, she'd sort it. I'll always appreciate her for that.

And there was definitely no need for the "good for you" type reply you got!

As others have said, see if anyone will swap. If not, book leave as soon as you are able & drag yourself in. There's not a lot else you can do.

See how you actually feel on Friday and then decide, you may be ok. If you are too upset you can either phone in sick or request the day unpaid.

They cld get ta fuck. Go sick. Seriously.
I am both the director of a company I own and a paye worker. This is appalling behaviour by your employer. Go sick.
And if They dare to question it tell them you were sick with grief. Disgraceful carry on.

I'd self cert for 7 days starting Wednesday.

@WeightWhatYou can’t always get annual leave. When my great uncle died, I knew I wouldn’t get bereavement leave, as he wasn’t (on paper) a close enough relative to me. However, I was actually his closest relative and I tried to see him as much as I could, as he was like a grandfather to me, so I requested annual leave. My line manager (NHS) originally said that would be fine, but then phoned me and said that her manager had overturned her and I couldn’t have the day off, as (like the OP) there were already too many people on annual leave.

I was told I could take the normal amount of time allowed, for a distant relative, which was 3 hours (unpaid). My problem was the funeral was over 1 and a half hours away. My line manager ended up agreeing with me, that I would take the 3 hours unpaid, plus my 45 minute meal and tea break (also unpaid) straight after that, as it was the only way I could go.

It was a very long, emotional and tiring day, as I started my shift at 10am, then left at 1pm to drive nearly 150 miles, attend the funeral, then drove the 150 miles back to my workplace, where I was immediately back to work, before finishing my shift at 8.30. I was absolutely knackered.

And they say the NHS is the caring profession!!

I'm sorry for your loss.
I think by law, grandparents is not classed as close family - only parents / children are. So they do not need to allow more time off, although most do out of compassion -
I'm sorry your company is not one of these 😔
Given they have already declined annual leave, the only choice you have is to be ill. There's no other choice sadly.

As someone who has lost a beloved grandparent in the last 6 months, do what you need to do to get the time off. Take it as sick, take annual leave, but just do it. Screw work, you will be in no fit state to be productive.
I am so so sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself - there is often a 'before' and 'after' the funeral. I seemed to cope well before and it hit me like an avalanche after.

You're not being unreasonable to want the Friday off, and you weren't asking for the second day as anything other than a day out of your AL entitlement. Your employer is. However, it does sound as if you're probably stuck with that.

I don't see anything wrong with asking if anyone is able to swap days for Friday, but if not, perhaps you can take alternative annual leave some time soon and plan to do something with it. Do you have other family members living near you to arrange a post funeral meet up or lunch date, for example?

Did you read the ops post right through? It's been denied that's the whole point of the thread.

I’m a line manager she have had a couple of people signed off sick by the doctor when Close relatives have died. It’s fairly normal, and if you’re in a bad head space you’ll be no use to work anyway.

Why, especially on sensitive threads like these, do posters not bother to even read everything the OP has written?

It's so damn rude and disrespectful when someone is in distress.

I know you mean well but really writing the sentence 'I know from experience that the day after a funeral is not as bad as we think' - did you really mean to write that?

Do you think that you are the only person who has been bereaved? Do you think the way you feel after a funeral WILL be the same way others will feel?

You are being quite cold, somewhat simplistic and very assuming in your post.

@Goodornot "aren't I lucky for my mam?" I beg your fucking pardon?! What a horrible, heartless and spiteful comment!!!!

I officially had 5 days compassionate leave then got signed off sick.. we had to wait 6 weeks for her funeral, she had to be subjected to a post mortem due to it being so sudden and with hey dying at Christmas she wasn't moved to the funeral home in time for us to see her and say our goodbyes (it was recommended we not see her as her body was beginning to look unrecognisable). Like I say, my dad almost died during the same time and my husband fucked off and left me with two young kids.

Fucking lucky indeed.

What I'm clearly saying is that I was treated with nothing but compassion by my employers and it saddens me that others aren't.

I sincerely hope you don't have to go through such a traumatic time.

I know from experience that the day after a funeral is not as bad as we think. The service is over and the person has been given a good send off. Also the run up to a funeral can be very stressful, but strangely it is somewhat of a relief to have the funeral over, well at least I felt I could relax a bit and let my shoulders down, even for a few hours.

On that basis if it were me, and due to your probation period and sick limits, I would go in on the Friday, but book Monday off instead. That means you have a long weekend to recharge and rest if you need to.

The distraction of going in on the Friday might help your mood anyway. So sorry for your loss, and I am sorry to hear that your employer was not in a position to facilitate you. However, as a new member of staff it is possible that more senior or long serving staff were given priority.

It’s incredible how many people are still saying ‘take it as annual leave’ when OP said clearly in her first post that she had already asked and had been denied and many others here have already pointed that out. I guess it just goes to show how many people like to comment on stuff without actually doing basic things like reading.

I’m sorry for your loss.
Call in sick Friday, don’t you self-certificate for first few days. I’m sure you’ll have a migraine causing disturbed vision come Friday morning.