To stop potty training for now?

I would wait a while. DD potty trained at 2.5. DS was over 3. He just didn't know when a wee was coming and got upset about it. This then changed when he was 3;2 and he managed it quite easily with minimal accidents.

It sounds like your DS doesn't know yet and he is getting upset. I would put pull ups on and keep encouraging the potty, but then it's not unpleasant for him out the house. If he still doesn't get it in a few months, I would try when you can mostly be at home for a bit.

I would give it a break. I tried my son a month before he turned 3 and he didn't get it so we stopped. A month later he trained himself in a day completely unprompted, he was just ready. He had zero accidents after that first day so it was definitely worth waiting to avoid the accidents.

I do think children need to learn that they don’t actually like being wet and it isn’t a choice to use the loo. Some kids really don’t care and if you waited for them to be ready, they never would be. My eldest was closer to 3 before she trained, was as stubborn as a mule, did not care at all as thought the toilet just got in the way or playing, lots of accidents etc but we got there eventually. Absolutely needed consistency and support from nursery but also needed her to want to do it. Biggest thing was making sure cleaning up after accidents took just as long if not longer than going to the loo. At 3 I wouldn’t keep delaying it otherwise your window before school gets shorter and shorter.

My youngest did it just after 2. Developmentally I think the younger one wasn’t yet in the power play phase and just cracked on. She needed much more help physically in terms of sitting on the toilet, getting her clothes up etc so should have been harder than the eldest but was much easier.

In the early days having to prompt is to be expected so I wouldn’t take that as a sign he’s not ready. He’s still learning to control and feel the muscles, so based on what you’re describing, I’d bet on he’s not fully emptying his bladder when you take him. So that’s why you’re getting an accident very soon afterwards. I would sit him on the loo/potty then after he’s gone get him to have a wiggle and jump around before trying again. When you need to leave for nursery take him 10 minutes before and right as you’re walking out the door. Once you’ve got him emptying his bladder fully you can increase the intervals between taking him- once you can manage an hour everything becomes so much easier, especially with boys as they can always wee behind a tree in the park!

Self initiation will come with time. My youngest is 2 years 9 months, he trained right around his 2 birthday and still doesn’t really initiate. But he doesn’t have accidents so long as we take him every 2 hours. Maybe some wouldn’t consider him fully potty trained but we don’t have to buy nappies or take spare clothes out with us so I’ll take it! My eldest trained a bit later and I’d say 3.5 was about when she took more ownership of it.

Give him (and you) a break for a few weeks then start again.

Personally at nearly 3 I would keep trying, some children find it difficult no matter what age. What worked for my ds who had a few failed attempts was to stay in the house over a long weekend, keep him bare from the waist down so he could see when he was having an accident and eventually stop himself and go to the potter. If he's in clothes it's hard for him to know he is going.

I usually found after a few days of doing this started to get some control and be able to go for longer and then would take themselves. If not happening by a couple of weeks I would just wait another 3 months

We did try earlier in the summer and he clearly wasn’t ready. Now even though he’s not asking for the potty he has very few wee accidents, he’s holding in between. (Poo is another matter but everyone says this takes longer to get)

i would ask the nursery how he is coping there

Give it another week and see. But don’t worry about pants at nursery for now, just do pants and potty at home and pull ups when you’re out for a while.

We were unsuccessful on our first attempt so stopped, tried again a couple of months later and he was dry (during the day) within a couple of days. Had a couple of accidents at nursery for the first couple of weeks, but that mostly happened when he was distracted/playing.

How long have you been trying? My DS had lots of accidents for the first 7-8 days and then got the hang of it. Personally I would persevere.

Currently in this process with my just turned 3, we’ve been a bit stop start for the last month at least and he’s only just started taking himself to the potty sometimes, mostly we prompt him. All my friends with same age little ones have said they’ve needed prompting for a while before they start to get it themselves. Not a reason to stop.

I'd continue for now at least, if you work out a bit of a pattern for how long until next wee needed etc you can start to put him on regular. When accidents happen get him to help put them in the washing and just talk nicely about how next time we'll do it in the potty or whatever.

praise him with new big boy pants

I just meant that my DS was in nappies. At kindergarden he would follow the others into the bathroom and wee (staff took his nappy off) but at home he didn't. He would just sit on the loo doing nothing.

So I kept him in nappies. Then one day he had a wee in his nappy and I could tell by his face he had thought he had wet himself and he was upset. So he stopped wearing nappies.

It sounds like your DS hasn't got control yet. But he will.

you need to spend more time at home i think
regular reminders.
pull ups may be helpful

Def no pull ups, he needs to feel the connection bw weeing and being wet.

If I were you I'd keep going. Just pot him regularly then slowly increase the gaps.

At age 3 I would persevere, that should be old enough to grasp needing a wee if NT. Some children just take a little longer than others to get there. Try a couple of days in the house with no pants/clothes on bottom half, lots of reminders to try, Chocolate button reward every time.
DD2.5 has literally mastered it overnight and is dry 24/7 however DS was almost 3 and took much longer.

I see he's nearly three. It's common for boys to train later. I don't think it's a case of him adding the potty and needing to go up. He hasn't got to the point where he knows he needs a wee yet but it will come soon.