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AIBU?

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Original poster

He always replies a day later

36 replies

AmyJahabee · 24/11/2023 21:56

been chatting to a guy on WhatsApp for 3 weeks now, we’ve not meet in person yet. This thing he always replies a day later even if I reply straight away to keep the conversation going and some fun questions. He will always respond the next day (usually with good engaging message) as if it’s a rule. Personally I feel it will drag the process of knowing each other

OP posts:
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Original poster
AmyJahabee · 27/11/2023 21:44

I have delete and blocked him. Is like using me to feel good about himself that someone like him. I don’t get it. But it’s a lesson I will use to improve my dating filtering. Thank you everyone

OP posts:
1975wasthebest · 27/11/2023 21:27

He’s dumped you, and I don’t know what can be achieved with the very remote chance he’ll take your call. It’s not like he’s going to admit he was lying about everything.

DatingDinosaur · 27/11/2023 21:24

Trust yourself OP. He’s managed to put you off him by his own lack of actions.

Sounds like he’s playing some sort of treat em mean, keep em keen game.

DoubleTime · 27/11/2023 21:14

Don't call, just block him.

Original poster
AmyJahabee · 27/11/2023 21:09

I replied yesterday to him saying yes he can call me today, he hasn’t replied nor a phone call. I’m having a feeling he is fake.

Should I just call him. I’m now curious just want to know what’s has happened to me? And if he is real but I’m not interested take this any further

OP posts:
Bigbirthdaycomingup · 26/11/2023 12:29

Answer in two days. Suggest a meeting. If he answers within the hour then go ahead and see what he's like in person. If not, delete and move on.

CacenCaws · 26/11/2023 12:21

Don't bother replying or reply with one message in 2 days time

Allinadayswork80 · 26/11/2023 12:19

Out of curiosity I’d go through with the phone chat and call him out on the delayed/late night messages. See what he has to say?

1975wasthebest · 26/11/2023 11:58

Have to agree with a PP about him possibly drinking which spurred him on to initiate a call and meet up. I don't think he's much into you, really - how long does it take to compose and send a text? - but I'm intrigued to see how he reacts today or whenever you reply back with your answer.

HRTQueen · 26/11/2023 11:58

Why bother

you haven’t met him he isn’t showing much interest and you are already waiting around

move on

samestyle · 26/11/2023 11:55

Maybe he doesn't want to get himself too invested before he's met you, he must be somewhat interested to suggest a phone call, perhaps see how it goes and then decide if he sounds nice.

DoubleTime · 26/11/2023 11:54

Hmmm, I'd be wondering if he suggested talking and meeting because he had been drinking. But there is only one way you are going to find out what he is like......

Original poster
AmyJahabee · 26/11/2023 11:53

from my experience my ex wasn’t keen on his phone, but at the start he always respond within reasonable time we have back and forth message and throughout our relationship.

OP posts:
ScarlettDarling · 26/11/2023 11:50

Why don’t you go through with the phone call and see how that goes?

JFT · 26/11/2023 11:49

AmyJahabee · 26/11/2023 11:48

Got a response last night at 23:30pm I was already sleeping. I message 12ish Friday afternoon. I don’t feel like responding. He’s asking for a phone call for this afternoon and to meet over weekend coming. I’m taking his response time as not interested and not that into me, so I don’t want to bother

Has he been reading this thread!

Replying 23:30 is bad manners to someone you don't know IMO

Original poster
AmyJahabee · 26/11/2023 11:48

Got a response last night at 23:30pm I was already sleeping. I message 12ish Friday afternoon. I don’t feel like responding. He’s asking for a phone call for this afternoon and to meet over weekend coming. I’m taking his response time as not interested and not that into me, so I don’t want to bother

OP posts:
toomanyleggings · 25/11/2023 00:23

Three weeks? I only gave guys three messages to ask for a date. It won’t go anywhere

RantyAnty · 25/11/2023 00:22

He's not interested. Delete and block.

AtrociousCircumstance · 25/11/2023 00:22

It doesn’t matter if he replies 24 hours afterwards or he inundates you with feverish replies - you will have no idea about him until you meet. Suggest a coffee. Although if he reads your suggestion and leaves it until the next day to respond, block him five minutes before his allotted reply zone!

JFT · 25/11/2023 00:17

AmyJahabee · 24/11/2023 22:50

Actually just checked last seen on WhatsApp he’s online 2 mins ago and I messaged around 1pm today I suppose his response is coming tomorrow at 2pm

I'd come straight out with and make a direct inquiry - how comes you always take 25 hours to reply me?

If this person is controlling or a fraud they're going to turn it on you and say something like 'wow you seem really needy, are you like this with everyone?' -or- 'it's a perfectly reasonable and healthy thing to do, what's your problem?' -or- 'are you upset with me?' (last one is an insidious game played by people who want there to be a drama where there isn't one so you start to feel feelings that you don't even have).

A healthy person will say, oh I limit my time on whatsapp chats with dates to one set time per day or sometimes it can get a bit intense a bit quickly. Or, oh, I didn't realise that's weird, let me think about it... do you prefer immediate replies?

Aquamarine1029 · 24/11/2023 23:22

Wake up. He's training you and you're going along with it.

Lemonsorbeteater · 24/11/2023 23:19

Suggest you move on from text to speech. He knows your number from WhatsApp.

GentlemanJay · 24/11/2023 23:11

Call his bluff with.

"I'm really enjoying messaging, but much prefer to chat in person. Here's my number 086543357890, I look forward to talking to you properly. If not the good luck and all the best"

If he doesn't ring, block him. He's taking the piss.

Original poster
AmyJahabee · 24/11/2023 22:50

Actually just checked last seen on WhatsApp he’s online 2 mins ago and I messaged around 1pm today I suppose his response is coming tomorrow at 2pm

OP posts:
JFT · 24/11/2023 22:22

It's either a rule or he's only logging on to that particular phone / account for limited period per day.

If it's on WhatsApp do you see the little blue ticks that he's read it or not? Can you see 'latest active' or any such data?

Also you say you've been chatting on WhatsApp, I assume you've migrated from a dating site and haven't met in person? Please be extremely cautious. Some accounts aren't even real people!

IMO You need to speak via video chat and then also meet up in real life ASAP for a little coffee date, 45 mins max for the first time. People get drawn into things because of text / email chatting and it can create a whole false identity or fantasy.

The consistent delay in responding suggests to me various things - an extremely controlled and 'game playing' person (avoid) -or- someone who is otherwise committed and is using limited access to a second phone account to 'date' -or- an account that is restricted and may not even be one single genuine person - in those situations you can get lured into handing over money or personal details that facilitate fraud.

Stick with your intuition in all circs.