Does anyone else get nervous / stressed before trip away?

@Cloud44
I am due to go away Friday for a few days and I have been tossing and turning thinking of all I need to do before then. It is worse in my situation because we have( lovely ) carers in to stay to look after out disabled children. Both of them have OCD type tendencies and are ultra organised ( the carers not the kids ) so I do worry about what they think of my messy home ! But then I know they do not judge and with children with complex needs it is a case of prioritising the essentials and letting the rest slip. Although I know all this I am still making mental lists of what needs doing and praying no.one gets ill before we leave to put the kibosh on it.
So my natural unease at going away ( v much a home bird ) is massively compounded by all this and everytime we do this I tell my husband I am not doing it ever again. ! He just rolls his eyes !
Anyway no.helpful hints other than to say I just try to ignore myself emotionally and crack on. Ignore any signs of illness ( my stock.approach anyway on that score ) and know that when I go I will be fine and enjoy it so it is all worth it .

I definitely worry about leaving my dogs! They stay with my parents and my dad is a vet so really they couldn’t stay anywhere better but I get so worked up being apart from them to the extent we have done UK dog holidays for a few years.

Hoping to get over this a bit next year though as we’re planning a week abroad.

Oh I’m the very same. I get so stressed. I do all the organizing, not just the holiday itself but getting the hens,dog,cats minded etc. We are going away for Christmas and I’m double stressed as I need to have all the Santa stuff sorted too. I can feel the anxiety kicking in now.
Even on the plane I’m worrying about whether we locked up the house properly and what if our accommodation isn’t nice. Once I’m there I’m fine!

No I don't. You need to flip this thinking because otherwise you turn into that person who can organise the fun out of a wedding.

Flip it to I deserve this adventure/break/time to relax and the logistics leading up to it are all part of enjoyment of stepping out of your routine/responsibilities.

I won't even do self catering places now, I don't want any domestic drudge on holidays.

Not really, but I usually think I can’t be bothered with all the faff - especially if airports/planes are involved - and would much rather stay at home.

Never used to be like this but my wanderlust has gone for good.

YANBU. I think it's just practice.

I had a global job for 15 years. On flights every other week by myself. US, Europe, Africa. Then I had ds and a uk job, then covid came and I basically stayed at home for a whole year.

New job, ds at senior school, and I was required to travel. Only up the motorway but I still got nervous, sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. It felt ludicrous but it's gone now.

You'll be fine 🙂

Not for short breaks but for longer trips, then definitely yes! Sorting out visas, pet care, insurance, meds, trying to get everything done at work (so cramming in far too much!) blah blah. I usually feel in the week before that there is no point in going away. I don’t moan about it though, I make a to do list and methodically work through it. And then, when we go, I relax in stages. So, once we are checked in at the airport, I feel better and once at our destination, with luggage safely collected, I can really enjoy myself. I have an utterly ridiculous fear of luggage going awol. It’s totally stupid, because I know I could just get more stuff and it wouldn’t be the end of the world, but it bothers me. DH knows I’m a stress head about it and always wants to take responsibility for sorting everything out, but that would stress me more 🤦‍♀️ I’m a control freak at times!!!

This is me! Not helped by DS coming down with chicken pox the day before our last holiday - all my worries coming true.
Although it was actually quite straightforward to rearrange everything, so maybe next time I might be a bit more chilled about it all. Then again maybe not.

The whole “enjoying when he gets there” is such a slap in the face. It is obviously deliberately done to start enjoying the holiday once it has been spoiled for everyone else.

This isn't true for all people who stress before a holiday though. My anxiety means I find preparing for a holiday stressful, but it's mine, and I don't try to give it to others. My DC laugh at me checking and double checking, and going to the loo 15 times before we leave the house, and being unable to eat at the airport while they merrily demolish a fry up.

Their enjoyment isn't spoilt, I don't want to spoil anyone's holiday, and certainly I don't have anxiety on purpose, I'd love not to feel as I do. And honestly? I don't enjoy it that much when I get there as my anxiety will start building again about the journey home. I mainly go away for my DC and DP, if it was just me I'd never go on holiday as it's not worth the anxiety it causes me.

I wouldn't exactly say I get stressed, I was lucky enough to do a fair amount of travelling when young, but now I am more at a point where I can't be bothered with the effort.

Yes, a friend of mine was (and probably still is) exactly like this. His idea of a good time was a weekend without leaving the sofa, and even mild deviations from routine that required him to do something outside the house (taking his kids to a swimming lesson) alarmed and stressed him, so as you can imagine he was unbearable in the run up to holidays — flapping, catastrophising, turning packing into some kind of exercise in military-style preparedness.

His wife always did the planning, booking etc. And then he asked for a divorce on day two of their family holiday in 2019. Now she takes their children on holidays and he doesn’t ever leave the house with them.

me too. And the first night away I lie in bed and think.about how many nights it is until I am home again. But after that first night I enjoy it and I am fine.
I often wonder if it is worth it all !

Just reading this thread has made me feel anxious!
On the morning of the day when we're going away I'm quite often retching with nerves.

I do where travel arrangements include flying or ferries and don't relax until I'm where I need to be.
Also packing for long trips can sometimes result in sleepless nights worrying about what clothes to pack.

Me! Spent over a year planning a special trip to Mexico. We're going next week an now I'm really worried.

I am exactly the same. I battle through to the night before and then I calm down!!

I recognize what someone said about parent behaviour - I definitely get it from my parents. And yes I do worry about what pp says and spoiling it for the rest of the family. On the other hand I'm always the one to organize everything - not the actual trip but the logistics. So it's me running round like a headless chicken packing for the kids, sorting pet care, cleaning house ready for pet sitter etc. if there was a leak it would be me calling plumber, cleaning up mess etc. It is getting easier now they can occupy themselves while I pack etc. I also know my husband will get grumpy if anything goes wrong so i feel that as a pressure. But yes I wish I could be more relaxed about it all!

@WhatTheFuk i hope not!! Now you’ve given me something else to worry about! 🤣

No one ever knows what’s round the corner, but, as far as I’m aware, 21 years together and I don’t think he’s about to jump ship!

I'm old and cynical now, but I'd be more concerned about him leaving you or being a twat, and now you've wasted all of your savings on him. (Been there!)
Hopefully I'm just bitter and you have an amazing holiday!

God yes.

I’m totally fine on my own, but I’m a planner and DH is more ‘if I have a passport and a phone, everything will be OK’. So we wind each other up no end.

I’ve found this more so as I’ve gotten older - even though DC are now older also (teens and a pre-teen) and we did lots of hols when they were smaller. They used to be a breeze. Now I am catastropising more before we go. Will the flight be on time and the car hire still be open, will the car hire have a car, will the accommodation tell us they don’t have our booking etc etc .

I think it’s that as we travel more and also get a bit older I realise what could actually go wrong with internet booked stuff or just stuff in general 😬. I’m finding it very stressful and I bloody love holidays!!!

I always feel like I'm responsible for gathering all the threads together and worry I'll miss something.
The rest of the family laughs at me, but invariably it is the case that it's lucky I picked up the slack.
I'm OK when actually away though but the return also stresses me ( what if we miss the transfer? Leave something important at the apartment? Etc)

Yes! I usually book last minute for this reason. It also pretty much solves the "what if it rains the whole time?" issue. Would that be an option? I realise it isn't for everyone. I usually book my annual leave then decide where to go at the last minute. I'll have 3-4 options and pick from those.