To send this text?

Maybe his wife found your messages.

I didn't say she was having a tantrum.

And it's not woman vs man.

It's basic manners. If anyone starts trying to tell me off- I'm not going to accept that behaviour, I'm disappointed blah blah at the start of a relationship, platonic, romantic or even work, it is a sign there is no compatibility. You don't get to tell me off because I choose not to engage further.

Did you miss the part where on Tuesday he changed his messaging pattern to something that was dismissive? It seems pretty obvious that on Tuesday something changed for him and not following up on the arrangements for lunch is part of that. Women complain regularly on these threads about the rudeness of men who go cold for no apparant reason (often followed by a return when whatever was distracting them doesn't work out) Yet when we have an OP who finds it unacceptable and wants to say so, people are trying to persuade her she's in the wrong. If everyone just puts up with this, never calls it out for fear of sounding 'stroppy' or 'flouncey' (like anyone should care what a guy they're never going to see again thinks of them) or worse still, sits around with their fingers crossed that he was 'just busy' or 'expected you to contact him' then it's never going to change.

This is what I'm bamboozled about. I don't actually see what he has done wrong!

Soooo he text you last, you haven't replied or got in touch to check date details....but he's the arse who has flaked off?

What? Urgh I'm glad I'm not in the dating world. Things have changed 🤣

When you say lunch date came and went, did you turn up to the agreed time and place but he didn't, or did you no show?

Did you actually decide on place and time for the date? Maybe he thinks you've ghosted him?

If not, why didn't you just text beforehand and ask where / when he wanted to meet?

(Dating was much simpler 30 years ago!)

Don’t message just let it go x Don’t chase him! Or send anything that makes you look stroppy. If he was interested he wouldn’t want to let you go, by not confirming and by not replying he’s willing to let you go x Don’t spend anymore time analysing this x Something better is out there for you x

I wouldn't block. I wouldn't respond.

Then when he does searching through his phone for casual sex you get to ignore his message

I wasn't saying that to be a dick by the way. I'd happily spend an entire date talking about my cats

Dating is a minefield.

I think I would've messaged before the date though, to see if it was on. I do know people who would've just turned up at an agreed time though, with zero communication beforehand, so it's unlikely but not impossible that he turned up for lunch.

I wouldn't text him. Just forget about him. It shouldn't be this difficult at the start of a relationship.

Why would you suggest a woman telling a man directly that 'that's that' and why, which is what OP wanted to do, is having some sort of tantrum?

It really isn't necessary for women to put up with men blowing hot and cold with them. There's plenty more where that one came from.

Wow, that's a a bit flouncy. If I were him and received that, i'd be bullet dodged.

OP, just leave him be. If he does come back, mention he didn't reconfirm the lunch. If not, life continues. Not all dates end in happy ever after, things can fizzle after a few meets.

but you both went silent?

assuming you didn't actually arrange to meet at x place at x time today, i would have just texted last night to "see if we are still on for lunch" and found out.

not sure he is the bad guy here, when neither of you did anything about meeting up today.

Then I'd go with something like 'I'm disappointed you didnt let me know the lunch plans had changed. Just so there's no misunderstanding, that sort of behaviour isn't what I'm looking for, so we won't be in touch again. All the best'

Where were you supposed to meet for your date? Perhaps he turned up? Men are usually more casual with conversation, in my experience and don’t necessarily need confirmation.

Same, it’s just that there was nothing more for him to say on the topic, surely?

I think you’ve read way too much into him just saying ‘cool’ tbh!

Why play games? If you liked him you should’ve text to confirm the date, if you still potentially like him just text & say like someone said above something like ‘so we never did lunch, fancy meeting up xyz…’

I could not be bothered contacting him, his loss .... block and move forward

Please don't apologize to him that he couldn't make it! What on earth?

He is perfectly able to text/reschedule. He's opted not to. Silence is an answer. Let him be!

We had been voice noting back and forth. I then asked him about his dogs and training as my one is being really challenging at the moment. He told me what he does. I replied that I will need to try that with mine as she's driving me crazy and he replied 'cool'. I have wracked my brain trust me and there's nothing I said that could even be taken the wrong way

Maybe it’s just me but I wouldn’t take “cool” so negatively from that exchange you describe or think it required kisses especially as you were going back and forth. Maybe the topic didn’t interest him and he had nothing more to say on it.

I definitely wouldn’t send that text as it doesn’t make you look good. Like another person said you need to think what you want from getting in contact again.

I think you need to play it cooler than you are.either give the man a call so there can be no ambiguity or lost in translation or if you really must, text him a light and breezy "hey Hope you're okay. We never did make that lunch today. Do you fancy doing something next week?"

How old is he?

I think if anything he's probably bored? Pre date three is possibly too soon to be talking about something as mundane as dog training. Dating is a tough game these days, or so I hear.