Highly sensitive empath burn out

Imo the vast majority of people who identify as empathy are definitely not empaths
Regardless. Your work environment is not serving you well, so find another. You sound as though you don’t cope well with managing the emotional needs of others, so perhaps working in a different field would be better?

This .

This is good 👍

Empaths don't think they're better than anyone else....

Corrr, you sound delightful. Not sure this was the thread for you. Maybe skip to a thread where your nasty vibes can be justified.

OP, I can only imagine how hard it is working with intense emotions each day. It might be really helpful to have some talking therapy. Maybe see it there is anything offered through work or particularly for the charity sector?

There is no evidence that empathys exist - and opinion is very divided

there are however people who are very suggestible, and very emotional so will be attracted to believing they are empathy - it’s often used as a way of telling people they are ‘nicer’ or ‘better’ or morally superior.

it sounds like OP is struggling to manager her emotions - and like many people works in a gossipy sometimes toxic environment. That’s life. Most people have to work with people they don’t like - being an adult means you learn to deal with it.

Perhaps worth noting that a lot of people who come from abusive childhoods or relationships, have unhealthy trauma due to being conditioned to be extra sensitive to their abusers need in order to avoid more abuse from them.

They leave, but do not heal. They may remain codependent (as it was only in tending to the needs of the abuser in the abusive relationship that they got their self worth validated), just its now towards others in their life around them (why you were drawn to charity work perhaps?).

And they are constantly observing the moods of others- as its what they were trained to do to stay safe. To fixate on the needs, wants and emotions of the abuser.

That's not being an empath. Its having unhealed trauma that needs therapy to heal.And might be what's going on with you. You are extra in tune with the bad people because you've been trained to be.

I think you need to distinguish empathy from the high degree of sensitivity you have for others' feelings. Otherwise you are in danger of presenting your emotional needs as a kind of talisman for a sense of superiority that you seem to need to articulate.
Empathy is a wonderful trait which almost all of us have to some extent. Being more empathic than average doesn't make you a special kind of person with a special set of needs, any more than being taller than average. Being overly sensitive to other people, on the other hand, does create difficulties and can be the result of many different personality characteristics (including, ironically, the narcissism with which you lable others).
I am hideously oversensitive to others as a result of anxiety, low self-esteem and PTSD. I think that my oversensitivity actually has the effect of inhibiting my empathy: I am empathic in general but I can get so eaten up by the chaos, anger and fear produced in me by other people's feelings that my ability to perceive them compassionately and realistically is compromised.
By framing your difficulties with colleagues in terms of your self-perception as empathic, you, too, seem to be a bit caught up in yourself, a bit compromised in your perception of others.

If I were you I would focus on finding strategies to deal with the toxic work culture that you have to operate in (speak to a line manager, or HR, or whatever) rather than viewing this as some kind of battleground between different 'types' of people.

Deanna?

my team members do not share my sensitivity or empathic approach

Interested to know what this looks like exactly. Any examples?

I’d look for a remote role at a different company, perhaps a different industry. I’ve worked for several charities and they can be bear pits.

Are you an 'empath', or a drama llama?

I usually find people who say they are empaths, make everything else all about their own feelings.

Just get another job if it's making you this miserable.

I work in a toxic, misogynistic, nepotistic, horrid environment, where there is lots of shouting and unpleasantness every day.

Will I leave - no because the wages, pension and holidays are too good.

I've changed my mindset. It used to upset me. Now I kind of don't care anymore.

It's a wage. Keeps a roof over my head and allows us to live a very pleasant outside of working hours.

Get a job where you are allowed to spend a lot of time working from home. Obviously that means you miss out on coattailing other people’s happiness but if stress and bad temperedness are the dominant moods it’s probably worth it.

(The worst department at a place I’ve worked at for years is the one which does touchy-feely community outreach stuff – incompetent at everything except claiming unearned plaudits and using excruciating jargon)

Being sensitive isn't the same as being an empath.

I'd suggest you can't be that much of an empath if you're incapable of tolerating other people's views or personalities.

Being around toxic people drains EVERYONE. Its not special to struggle around bad people. It's normal. And so are you.

And as for- what do you you do? Personally I just leave these jobs. Life's too short to be surrounded by shit people.

Of course, chances are that if one workplace is asshole free, there will be three in the next one to make up for it. Its an unfortunate fact of life.

And it sucks to leave work you enjoy.
But honestly, it's the easiest, least stressful approach. Find some place new and quit.

Also consider the environment of the job. Places where you work alone a lot might might preferable. Or jobs that are so fast paced that no one had much time to gossip.

Change your career. Empaths would not be my choice as suited to Charitable Sector.
They get too emotionally involved.

I'd hire Pragmatists.

I work with a “highly sensitive empath”. It’s draining. Basically, it means that she feels that nobody else’s emotions are as heightened and real as hers so she dismisses everyone’s thoughts and clearly thinks that nobody is as important as she is.

Look up sonder, OP.

"empaths" and "highly sensitive people" don't exist.

especially if you are a galvanometer or a concert piano

😂

I imagine any workplace where there are more people to help than is possible with the resources available, and when the things they need help with are not very nice, that it would have an impact on you, self identified empath or not.

I used to think I was an “empath” when I was a teenager, but in my middle age now I realise I just didn’t / don’t have good emotional regulation and can easily be led moods of the people around me. Just being aware of it and reminding myself it’s not my feelings, and it’s not about me, sorts it out.

Do you have ASD or ADHD by any chance?

This. Not everyone does. Empaths do

Most humans have empathy. Nothing special about it.

Deathwillbebutapause
In my experience the people who are genuinely highly sensitive tend to channel it well and it becomes one of their strengths. Sensitivity is a very good quality to have.

However, everyone I've met who self describes as an empath or makes a big drama about how they're not like the other people, they can't handle anything other than positive vibes, can't manage at work, can't handle negativity, they're highly sensitive dontyaknow etc is actually far from highly sensitive. Most seem to consider themselves above other ordinary people and can be very good at placing themselves into victim mode, trying to get everyone else to tiptoe around them. I find it quite manipulative.

@Mamato29192 I find your post interesting.

May I ask, how do you know empaths exist? I have no view one way or another, but I'm interested in your certainty.

My non committal view, if I have one, is that most people only show you what they are comfortable in revealing. to you, at a particular point in time.

So, how would you differentiate between someone who is comfortable revealing their feelings (perhaps showing a lot of empathy) from someone who keeps their feelings pretty much to themselves, as far as you are concerned, but may show very strong feelings to someone else, about the same thing?

serious question