Highly sensitive empath burn out

I think that you, like everybody else who is unusual (i.e. 'everybody') need to find somewhere to work that you like, with people you get on with, or where there aren't too many people, if people in general burn you out.

This isn't about 'tips and tricks for empaths'; this is learning that people who describe themselves as empaths are often people who are hyperaware, due to having been forced to stay in situations they weren't comfortable with, usually as children. It's about recognising that now, as an adult, you can walk away, rather than having to endlessly 'put up with' situations that upset you.

The world doesn't need to change for you, nor you for the world. You are responsible for finding where you fit in, though, so, if you're not comfortable, you need to change your circumstances, rather than yourself.

This was what I was referring to as empaths/hsp having coping strategies, where you have to force yourself to turn off to certain things/people/events, otherwise you'll implode (well not literally but hopefully you get my meaning).

Well they’re not a bloody ‘empath’ either and it’s certainly unkind to validate such nonsense. No one can deny that some people can pick up on micro signals of emotions, but there are several ways of explaining this beyond ‘yes you are very special and sensitive and have a gift’.

Agree with this.

There also tends to be a direct correlation with anti-vax types IMO.

What I want to know is how people know that they feel emotions more than other people. Rather than they make more of a fuss than other people who feel more but don't show it?
If someone can explain how they know this then maybe I'll take it more seriously as a diagnosis.

I mean it's like pain thresholds. Asked for pain out of 10, ds gave appendicitis 2; dd gave a paper cut a 8. I am certain that appendicitis is more painful, but they measure on a different scale.

Thin skinned? 🙄

I'm not sure true "empaths" exist, but I do think there are people with more empathetic traits that others.

If being an empath is a thing, I find it hard to understand how they would function, the world is so full of distressing news, it would be truly exhausting to not be able to ever switch off from that.

"Highly sensitive empath" aka "thin-skinned"?

Calling the others in the office narcissistic, and dismissing disagreement in the thread as being mean and nasty ... hmm.

Do you always answer an actual question with a diversory insult?
Are you qualified in any way to have made the initial assertion?

This may well be true - it's unkind to tell anyone who claims to be an empath that 'they're actually a narcissist', as some here have done.

You describe yourself as an “empath” don’t you? 🙄🥱

Quite the opposite actually. I pick up on the nuances of people’s emotions all the time. But I recognise that from a horribly abusive childhood which has made me in constant fear of negative emotions and makes me overly sensitive to ‘people pleasing’. I’m still working on unraveling all that, but at least I’ve take the healthiest route of facing why I’m like this and why it’s something I need to work on. Rather than assume I’m a special flower with magic feeling power 🙂. Or worse, be the sort of awful person who tries to convince others it’s some special ability that needs money spent on silly stones to fix.

While I'm sceptical about empaths being a thing, there are interesting things you could google about "cognitive" empathy and "affective" empathy that might be helpful. I read up on it years ago when trying to gain more understanding of autistic friends who described experiencing what I imagine is a more "affective" kind of empathy, where you yourself feel emotions others are expressing, as opposed to the more "cognitive" distance of imagining what someone might be feeling, without actually experiencing that emotion yourself.

Not sure I've explained that at all clearly! I think also what the pp above said about childhood abuse is often key. Also, noticing where the emotions are actually your own, perhaps due to past experiences, rather than really much to do with random gossipers or moaners in the workplace.

Are you a qualified psychologist/psychiatrist/mental health expert?

🤣👏🏼🤣👏🏼

I’m fairly confident that most people who describe themselves as an “empath” are really just narcissists. They want to be seen as special but are attention seekers.

There are people are are genuinely empathetic but they don’t make every situation about themselves.

I am also ASD.

still an empath

I used to think I was an empath.

Turns out I had ASD (diagnosed)

Have a read around it, especially presentation in females.

No thanks

i don’t eat goose food

See herein lies the problem. You've gone straight to 'everyone's being mean to me' rather than engaging with the points being made. Some people have been blunt but nobody's been nasty that I can see.
That's being 'highly sensitive' but not particularly 'empathetic'. They are not the same.
This is a 'you' problem, not a 'them' problem
I'm inclined to agree. It mirrors my experience of self-professed empaths as being permanently in victim mode.

I think PP make valid points about how many empaths are reimagining their poor emotional regulation as being an 'empath'. It's probably more comforting to consider oneself special, extra caring and super in tune and not like the ordinary people than it is to acknowledge poor emotional boundaries and/or a tendency to place oneself in permanent victim mode where nobody understands how hard it is being special.

If OP's work environment is actually toxic, she needs to leave. That's no different to anyone else who is hating working in a toxic environment.

It might be worth speaking to someone professionally though to get to the bottom of why any negativity in the workplace prompts such an intense response because otherwise this is going to follow OP in many workplaces.

Yea, don’t listen to critical thinking, find an echo chamber for your belief system rather than get some real help. Oh and spend £20 on some pretty stones that do absolutely fuck all.

Absolutely this

well, you’re clearly not empathetic at all.

maybe you need a crystal? 🥰

Actually, if someone really feels they are an empath or even very sensitive, then they HAVE to develop strategies which protect them from absorbing so much of everyone else's energy that they burn out and simply cannot function.

I also think there's been unnecessary unkindness on here - whether OP truly is an empath, highly sensitive or something else, for whatever reasons, she's clearly asking for advice and not trying to be superior in any way.

Assuming you feel you find your work fulfilling and want to manage the stimuli in the short term:

Something I've found helpful have been mediation and sensory things: I keep silencers on (not the guns...) my earphones nearby. It's not a chatty office but I do like to keep my WFH habits when I'm in the office.

Other folk that I've learnt things from are Embodied Astrology Renee Sills who gives great guidance, visualisations and movement.
Here's one example (pretty grounding)

Another go to to help me keep my energy close is this 10 minute morning meditation

Giving yourself lots of space to break and move out of the space you are in - if you are a sensory person earphones, calming peppermint spritz, affirmations etc. All can help.

Longer term, maybe assess what the triggers are and if these are manageable, or movable for you. Have you felt like this in previous workspaces / teams? Otherwise what would the alternative be.