It's a school mums one.....sorry

Arrange one on one play dates to get to know them personally. Drop in on the group chat when you are headed to the park or soft play if anyone would like to join you.

I felt much better when I stopped putting pressure on myself to make friends with the other mums. I was there to get my children, that's it. Don't get me wrong. I do chat to people now and then. I always smile. I did end up making friends with a couple of the mums which is lovely. But when my first child started at school I put so much pressure on myself to be friends with everyone and felt like a huge failure when I didn't. When my second started I removed all that pressure and just thought "If it happens great, if not, so be it".

I would definitely arrange a playdate. Given your kids are reception, the parents are likely to stay the whole time anyway, so you can get to know a few a bit better.

No one here did drop and run playdates in YR. I still stay now but that's because I have become really good friends with some of the mums so like to have my own time for a chat!

Find out who your child's friends are, then write some invites for play dates or asking to meet up, including your phone number, and ask the teacher to put the notes in the bags. I've met a few people this year that way, and my son just started in reception. I'm never short of people to talk to on the playground (although I will pretty much talk to anyone tbf). 🤷🏻‍♀️

It's still early in the year. I remember when DC1 started school at Halloween I was thinking I'll never not feel awkward but honestly it does get better HOWEVER I've three DC and honestly I do think you can be lucky or unlucky with the group of parents from your child's class. You might just be unlucky where many children in the class are younger siblings and the parents are all friendly already or may know each other going back years from their own schooldays or work together or don't speak much English or whatever. I've had different experiences with all my DC.

The first poster has it.

I go to drop my kid off and pick him up. Whilst I'll willingly chat to anyone, and will smile and say hello whether I know the person or not, I'm not there to make friends and am just as happy standing on my own.

I pick up once a week and drop off three times, for 5-10 minutes per journey. That's the sum total of the head space this takes up. Try not to worry about it, they are likely not deliberately snubbing you. And if they are, who wants to associate with them in the first place?

Just don't give a shit. My son is 6 and I'm very popular with his mates as they always come and say hello, but their mums? Naaahhh

This !

Go to school events and birthday parties - that's where you'll get to know people

Join in op and if they’re rude they’re rude, if they’re related, old classmates whatever and they have certain things they talk to each other then fine too. I remember sitting at a pt meeting and suddenly realising about eight of one of my son’s class were related in some way and most of the parents had actually gone to that school!!! I chat to some, enjoy standing watching the kids running out too x

Why was it a tough decision to move your DC to your first choice of primary school at the end of nursery school?

misses point entirely

Here’s a tip to tide you through to secondary school: school is a place where children go to be educated and build their own community. It’s not a place for grown women to socialise. Keep that front and centre, and your interactions with other parents will grow organically.

I don’t think the problem is that you arrived from a different nursery setting. People are either open to meeting new people in the playground or they’re not.

I remember when my eldest started Reception. The mums were all pleasant and open to chat with anyone. That is, until a hierarchy formed and the cliquey mums closed ranks 😄

Seven years later they were still doing their performative thing on social media about how lucky they were to meet such a wonderful group of women, who lifted each other up through good and bad (pass the bucket!)

I’m the same age as you and have also felt noticeably older than some of the mums in my younger child’s class. They’re early 30s and I have a decade on them.

Anyway, shrug your shoulders and try not to give a shit.

I think the school gates are tricky and it's much easier to chat to other parents at school events or birthday parties. As they are in reception I'm sure there will be whole class parties and you'll get to know others there.
We had a WhatsApp group in reception and someone suggested parents drinks at the local pub one eve which was also a great icebreaker.
But as someone else said it was only late into reception year that I really got to know any other parents, I'd say it's early.

Yes!

Just to stick up for some mums who seem to get a bad rap - my child started school and most mums havve been nothing but nice to me. Many already know each other from having older children at the school but have still been super welcoming to me.

Also, have any the dads been welcoming or chatty? Why is it always the mums that get accused of being rude but if dads dont engage, it is ok?

Also if someone smiles at me - I dont take it as gospel that they want to speak to me. I would smile back to be polite but if I started conversation with everyone I smiled at during the day- i would never get anything done!

I think you have to make the effort and gradually it will come. These mums are just talking to people they already know, I'm sure they aren't deliberately excluding you. Maybe get there early so there aren't as many and then you can speak to them one to one? Ask them how their child is enjoying school or some other innocuous enquiry.

Ok, but you asked for tips. It’s really easy: talk to them. Or else how else are they going to know you want a relationship?

I think it’s just early days still, given you only see them for a few minutes every day. For me it was class parties in reception that helped me make friends, there were so many of them and parents all stay at that age, so I slowly got chatting more to people at those.

Like you, I have good friends that aren’t anything to do with school- and I do understand when people say they haven’t the time or inclination to make friends with other parents- but for me I just feel it’s a fairly big part of your life, especially when you have several children, and I wanted that ease of friendships to make it a bit more enjoyable. I’d say I’ve made a few really good friends, and the majority are people I’d happily chat to, it’s lovely- but took towards the end of reception for that to happen.

You try to make eye contact and smile. That's fine as far as it goes, but not enough to make new connections

If you want to chat to people, best to take steps to make it happen. You need to put yourself out there a bit and talk to people

Join in the conversations, nobody minds, it is just idle chit chat, people are rarely discussing embarrassing rashes or personal family matters on the playground.

Maybe try arranging a few playdates to get to know some mums on a 1-2-1 level, especially if your daughters have any children they play with a lot. Suggest going to the park if you don't have room/don't want loads of people in your house.

It is good to build up a rapport with these people in case you are ever running late/ill/have a work commitment and need someone else to collect your DC last minute.

Are you using all your tickets? You could offer some of yours to her! It would be a good ice breaker.

It's only been 8 weeks. And these people may know each other from siblings, or nursery etc. Ask your kids if they have a couple of friends they'd like to invite round for a play date, that's how school friendships usually develop. They'll be thinking the same about you that they don't know you and they don't want to be rude by approaching you. It doesn't usually work like that.