AIBU feeling like his mum.

Get rid. He's a disgusting scrote

Anybody else hoping that OP comes back with an update?
OP please come and let us know that things have not escalated and that you are safe

Him:
>Rescued from his mom
>Lovebombs - couldn’t even commit to that for more than a month
>Leechy smoker / gamer
>Filthy fucker - his poor colleagues/customers
>Verbally abusive
>Likely exacerbating your illness with the stress he causes you

You:
>Cook
>Clean
>Massage
>Seduce
>Pay for stuff
>Make lunches with love notes
>Have your own place
>Hygienic

I think you’ll find you’re the better catch and the reason he is shouting, is keep you in your place. He knows he has it good, and is hoping you don’t find your self-esteem.

Send him back to his mom as he adds no value to your life.

Hi, this early loving behaviour, you described,, is called : Love Bombing.
It's a psychological tactic used by people to gain control, to get what they need from you. It's a form of Brainwashing because you are confused, you think you did something ' wrong' so You KEEP ' TRYING' TO GET THAT EARLY LOVING BEHAVIOUR BACK by being very ' good' to THEM.
STOP RIGHT NOW and go for HELP.
You are being manipulated.

You can gain insight into this phenomenon by researching on a very popular channel which labels this behaviour as ' Narcissistic ' TYPE IT IN NOW and watch the millions of therapists advice .
There are no boundaries with these types ,they stop at nothing to use your ( our) good nature.
Another thing ' being mean ' I hope ,won't keep you Keen!!!!!!

Yep he needs to go, if he’s not making an effort then why should you? Send him packing and find someone who will treat you as you deserve

Mahooooosive red flag all over this guy. Chuck him out and watch as he becomes all romantic again....until he gets his feet under the table - he's playing you. Also, a jeweller who can't afford his own place? Hmmm, sounds likely 🙄

I think you need to tell him you want some space and ask him to go to his mums for a few days just to get him out, then pack his stuff up and tell him when he can collect it.
Honestly he sounds horrendous.

Omg, no offence but grow a f**king backbone! You sound like an absolute doormat. How you could stay with someone who treats you like a piece of crap and doesn't even shower. Like doesn't he stink? How can you stand to lie beside him?

And now he's been verbally abusive to you, and you still haven't kicked him out!!! Girl, you need to pack his bags, chuck him out, then you need a whole lot of therapy. You accepting his shitty behaviour and believing that is better than being alone is not normal. You need to see your worth. He's lazy, he stinks, he's abusive, he leeches of you, he uses you. He doesn't love you. Come on, you got this, you deserve better.

And being alone doesn't suck. I had bad relationships, allowed myself to be treated badly (but not near as bad as your partner treats you), and I've been single now for 7 years. And hand on heart I'm the happiest I've ever been. I got therapy, worked on myself, and now I'm not willing to put up with any crap.

Is it just me thinks this was written by a bot or AI. Everything about the sentences and the way they’re written are so odd

Never trust a man with an unwashed ass.

Trust me this guy is not for you.
I wasted my thirties with the wrong guys. Guys who at the thought of losing them and being alone drove me crazy. They were toxic arseholes who I should not have wasted my time on. It’s so hard when you are in it but you ARE WORTH AND DESERVE MORE!
My advice, Tell him to leave and you couldn’t care less if you see him again. Pack his shit and go.
take time for you. Get well as you said you gave list weight etc been unwell. Be with friends and family. Concentrate on your life and hobbies. Live. You will look back and wonder why you put up with the crap he is giving you. Being alone is scary but trust me being alone is better than being with the wrong guy who is treating you like crap and driving you mad.
be alone for now. Be happy. And when you meet someone great you’ll wonder why you were settling for him.
Good luck xxx

Why are you going to all that insane amount of effort to impress a filthy prick who can’t even be arsed to shower? He sounds utterly rank.

You shouldn’t be doing a pick-me dance when there’s no competition. He’s sitting back on his filthy unwashed arse while you fanny about massaging him, working love notes, making him coffee and shaving every inch of your body.

Just stop it. He’s disgusting.

No, OP there is not a single world in the multiverse where this could be your fault.
This toad pretended to be a prince for a month.
Time to kick him out, you don't deserve to be treated so poorly

He sounds vile. Set your expectations higher. Never mother a man. that is definitely a way to lose his respect and make him to take you for granted. If your relationship feels like hard work, it needs binning.

😫apologies! I did not see OPs reply about her conversation with him!
ignore my comment about speaking to him then. You’ve done what you can, bin him. Now might be time to suggest some space for you both to “think”. Let him cool off separately from you and then break it to him you’d like to separate and ask him to take his things and leave. Tell him you won’t be in when he does so either, save yourself more abuse from him.

Does he contribute to anything for your house like bills food etc? If you break up with him and he says you won’t ever see him again… surely that’s a good thing 🤷‍♀️ You need to have a bit more self worth, would you really rather have this smelly leech stay with you who it sounds brings nothing to the relationship over being alone and then potentially finding someone later down the line who will treat you as you deserve. You say you want him out your house then don’t sit watching him play Xbox go unplug it and tell him it’s over and he needs to leave cos while your letting him walk all over you he won’t willingly leave!!

Your house? Get him out!

What’s his excuse for not showering before work. I’m surprised you even want to seduce him

@Whatintheworldgirl ?

You can have a relationship without living together you know, after 2 years I'm still at the meeting twice a week stage. Does he pay towards bills and food, do you need this money, could you get a lodger.

OP, you need to dump this creep pronto. The thing that troubles me more than him though is you. You sound as though you are posting from the 1950's. You are cooking, cleaning, buying him his favourite treats and generally being subservient in the hope of a small crumb of affection. Is this a cultural thing perhaps? Either way, kick him and his unwashed penis out of your home now.

Sit him down and have a chat about everything. Be completely honest and vulnerable, there may be more to it than you’re seeing.

She tried that. It didn't go well.

You're wasting your time. There are good men out there and you deserve a good man but you won't find him while you're staying with this piece of shit. He's already grinding you down, made a mess of your self esteem.

It's not you, it's him, and it's time for him to go.

OP - never for a minute blame yourself. That’s a number one mistake. Just because someone may become less attracted to you (which I doubt is the case), that does not give excuse to a lack of effort ALL ROUND. Not showering is not an excuse! However, I would say he isn’t only neglecting you, but also himself. Maybe there is more to it, such as his mental health.
Please don’t blame yourself though, or your weight or anything like that!
I think it’s super easy to just say dump him - but you sound like you want this to work. It’s also not giving you both a chance to resolve this increasing distance between yourselves.
Sit him down and have a chat about everything. Be completely honest and vulnerable, there may be more to it than you’re seeing. Then take it from there

You do sound like you have very low self esteem. But the sounds of it that has been caused by this relationship and the anxiety regarding whether he appreciates you or not/whether he will suddenly ‘snap out of it’ or not and start acting differently. You don’t sound compatible, you sound like you need someone supportive and romantic and affectionate…and he sounds like he’s ambivalent at best. Time to think of yourself- you’re only 30!- and move on to something better