Does anyone else fucking hate being busy?

Me too I hate having lots on even if it’s nice things. I’m happiest just pottering around at my own pace. Life in the slow lane for me is essential. Work often means otherwise though and that can literally make me ill. I wish I had a higher speed but I just don’t!

I'm the exact opposite. I don't like being over-scheduled and having too much to fit in but long periods of aimlessness without structure or plans and doing nothing make me feel anxious and stressed to the point of physical illness.

My idea of hell would be being forced to spend a whole day in front of the TV in my pyjamas (which I know is a lot of people's heaven). It makes me feel literally unwell and I have to get away from it. Dossing about all weekend, never leaving the house etc makes me panicky and I hate being bored.

I'm a bit phobic about the idea of wasting time and unproductive time. I had it drilled into me as a child that downtime without purpose was wrong. My mum used to bollock me for watching TV unless I had express permission from her and I think I've never quite managed to shake it off.

A lot of people will probably be along to say this is wrong and I'm a victim of a capitalist ratrace culture or whatever and extol the virtues of loafing but it's how I feel and I'm too old to change.

An empty weekend is my absolute favourite!

I’m with you, Op. love having an open diary. I’ve had people suggest to live a boring life; these people public share on social media how overwhelmed and anxious they are. I know what I like, and turn down invites to things I don’t.

I feel like this. I was struggling being a sahm to Sen dc and thought when dh gave up work to also be a carer that my mental load and physical exhaustion would be halved - not so. Now we are both just grumpy and exhausted and too much to do. I’ve started moving all appts to give us one week per month with none hopefully that helps

I like busy but I do make sure I book in quiet weekends when I am not doing anything social so I don't get overwhelmed. Just space stuff out properly. And don't give into booking stuff on your empty weekends.

I don't enjoy being busy but I have a busy mind and always planning, sorting etc. But that's not usually social things. I like having no plans more than I like having a full weekend. I have loads of 'busy' friends though and I do get annoyed at the ones who make themselves busy and then complain they're busy. It is a choice. But I appreciate one is more social than the other!

I relate to this but I love being busy, I do know how to zone out from people, find a quiet space to be busy in when I need to and take regular breaks of complete peace and quiet (and I mean complete silence, with no one around me, I love it). I may not thrive from being around people but I can adapt and love to be kept busy, introverts and extroverts can complement each other well and it is certainly possible to work around each other's needs despite the obvious differences between them. I mean I actually like people too, just in small doses! I'm more than happy to tell people I need a little space (and that can happen often!), the majority of people never bat an eyelid as we have a healthy respect for our differences, but there are some who just find me weird too, but who isn't weird? I dont believe in normal!

I hate being busy- nothing to do with health or energy. I just like doing stuff at my pace, not having to cram in endless social plans. I struggle if we have plans two weekends on the bounce.

I think you'll find part of the issue is your chronic health conditions. I find this to, I have chronic migraine, which is so bad that I have botox every 3 months yet I still get 1-2 a week. I just need down time in order to cope with everything. Working part time helps but I still end up with sick days to.

But not being well just takes up to much energy, which means doing lots just exhausts me. Luckily I have a husband who doesn't like doing much so we aren't rushing around with plans most weekend like a lot of people seem to do.

I hate it too OP but more because I'm a classic introvert and just can't abide too much 'social contact' (whatever form that takes, from friends and family gatherings to dentist appointments!). I'm not an anxious person (quite the opposite actually) but still avoid filling up my diary with 'stuff'.

Hmm. I'm not sure if it is an extrovert / introvert thing. I HATE being busy when it's constant work and chores. Which my life often seems to be! Even more so when there is a little bit of down time but then you have to get back to whatever job needs doing. But then I love looking in my diary and seeing all my weekends booked up with plans. So which am I? I love being busy as long as it's with good stuff. Maybe I'm an ambient? Or maybe I'm just lazy and hate doing things I don't like doing but an extrovert for stuff i do like.

may I recommend Oliver Burkeman's book Four Thousand Weeks to the thread... it deals exactly with this feeling of 'overwhelmed by busyness'.

There are two issues here - first we have objectively busier lives than ever with an open ended amount of stuff that firehoses at us all the time. And second we have brains that tell us we have to get it all done - we can't relax until we do everything expected of us /that we have committed to.

So the secret is to address both. Prioritise and learn to say no, to reduce the amount coming in.

But that's not going to solve it, as lots of us have actually too much. So at the same time, realise it's all never going to be "done" until we are dead. So find ways to relax and have genuine rest as you go along. That then makes you less exhausted, so you end up with more time for things that are nourishing and fulfilling to you.

That theory doesn't really work for anyone whose childhood was before the mid 80's. What you are saying is that when you have free time, you come up with ways to be busy.
Compared with previous generations everyone on this thread who is working and has children is very busy. No other generation of women were expected to be all things to all people. We threw our children out to play, the children went places without us, were expected to go to bed when told etc. The world was a lot quieter. The ever increasing pension age adds to people's stress.

I loathe it op. I'm a single parent to a primary aged dc working full time and am exhausted all of the time.

So much so that I am almost greatfull that I don't have to go to work or be sociable this week because I have a chest infection that exacerbated my asthma badly enough to land me in hospital. Even then I was glad of limited visiting hours so I could be left alone and in peace for a bit.

I am wheezy and tired and very very sore but I'm not at all busy, and I am quite frankly reveling in my ability to just rest for a while.

I’m glad you said most - though I don’t think even that is true. Similarly, as other posters have suggested, it isn’t about not liking my own company. I love my own company. I love doing nothing. I also enjoy having things planned to do (either alone or with others).

Me 🙋‍♀️ I've never so busy recently! And I love hated it. I need down time and just haven't been able to. The house is a too because I don't have the mental capacity to deal with it after a busy day at work and then a full on weekend with this that and the other

I love being busy but alone with my studies. Being around people is stressful and tiring.

My whole life has been busy and I loved it, was second nature, until recently! Early 50s and have gone through so much the past 10 years I sometimes wish I could just shut the world and all of my responsibilities off, not talk to anyone, have quiet and look after only me. On the other hand this would mean not counting the blessings for the life I have so I try to have my quiet moments, not easy. Yes modern life is so full on and demanding, work, kids, family, worries, grieving, never enough time, having to prioritise and not being able do everything you want to or see friends as much as you want to. Getting older sucks big time with the weight of the world on your shoulders. All we can do is our best I guess? X

I need a lot of P and Q and quiet days now. The diary is really filling up now until Christmas, and I had to say yet again to dh earlier, ‘Nothing else until January!’ - he was proposing yet another concert or something and we’ve already got more than enough on.

I seem to be getting more and more like my DM - when she was old she would often say in the morning, with a sigh of relief - ‘Thank goodness I haven’t got to go anywhere or do anything today!’
I suppose I should be getting worried, but I’m not.🙂

A friend of mine says her idea of a good weekend is having an activity in the morning, another one in the afternoon and a third in the evening on both Saturday and Sunday. That is absolutely my idea of hell.

Im very low energy. Last Saturday I had four naps during the day.

I need lots of down time.
Was never the same after having glandular fever in my teens. There was a distinct before and after.

Plus a sleep disorder.
plus menopausal.

but even without all of that I suspect my favourite things would be pottering and reading.

it’s nice to see things in my diary but I ideally need biggish gaps between them.

My absolute worst nightmare apart from just busyness is when I have several things to do and little time to do them in. Makes me unbearably anxious.

My dream life is to live in a perfect small immaculate house that needs nothing doing. No job. Grown up children and nothing to do except an occasional food shop and watch TV.

I am an introvert to some degree and I find extroverted people are much better at being busy