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AIBU?

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31 replies

Escapefromhell · 22/11/2023 08:27

My daughter has started a new role at work. The man who is inducting her in to the role is the same level as her and 10 years younger.

When she asks for something to be explained, or has a question about the job he is the person she is to ask. The role uses a lot of different equipment in a variety of contexts. There is a lot new things to take on board on an ongoing basis. This will be the case over the first year as a lot of there unique to particular seasons.

The man inducting her seems to not understand what my daughter is asking. She will ask a simple question and he will say things like ‘what you on about?’

He over explains simple things to her, even things to her. Things she holds qualifications and has a great deal of experience of. She is the only woman on a team of 10 in a traditionally male dominated industry.

It seems like a load of low level insidious undermining behaviours. He doesn’t do any of it when other staff are around. There is nothing to complain to the line manager about as all of it could be explained as him being ‘helpful’. No evidence of any of it.

Any top tips, pithy comebacks or empathy welcome. She is determined to power on through!

OP posts:
wokbun · 22/11/2023 08:43

underneaththeash · 22/11/2023 08:42

What are you on about?
I'm asking how to change the xxx on the xxx, the machine which does xxx (oversimplified explanation.) Don't worry if you're not sure, I'll ask someone else.

That's a good response

wokbun · 22/11/2023 08:43

His age is irrelevant

underneaththeash · 22/11/2023 08:42

What are you on about?
I'm asking how to change the xxx on the xxx, the machine which does xxx (oversimplified explanation.) Don't worry if you're not sure, I'll ask someone else.

User56785 · 22/11/2023 08:38

It's not his fault that he's ten years younger than she is or that he's been told he has to do a year long induction.

He might be avoiding saying 'what are you on about' when other people are there to avoid drawing attention to your dd not knowing what to do yet.

He might be competent at his job but not good at teaching or explaining things to people.

Tempnamechng · 22/11/2023 08:34

Is he just a bit thick? Trying to come up with witty comebacks when you are being inducted won't do her any favours. After induction she'll be working independently of him, so she just needs to bide her time. She obviously has a greater understanding of elements of the job than him, which will show once she had finished induction.

HalebiHabibti · 22/11/2023 08:31

I wouldn't suggest anything other than accepting it all at face value and saying thank you on loop, at least for now. I would also advise taking very good notes so that she masters what she needs to know very quickly. That way, she can challenge as needed later on - I suspect he will back off rapidly when he realises she is not an uninformed new starter any more.

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