Primary age boys these days…

Reading the whole thread, I actually think a lot of this stems from the fact that kids at 9 do have some feelings that could be described as ‘sexual’ - crushes, curiosity about their own bodies and how adults use theirs - and a lot of parents seem to want to keep them ‘innocent’ of this ‘inappropriate’ knowledge for far longer than they ever could. 9 year olds have been doing and saying sexual stuff for as long as there have been 9 year olds. It’s ignorance and an impression from adults that all this is taboo and dirty which leads to the filthy-sounding stuff and some of the really disturbing behaviour. A 9 year old can know the basics of reproduction, what sex is, what consent means, and some of the variations from heterosexual married monogamy that exist in the world around them without coming to harm at all. The second they ask questions we should be making sure we’re a source of unbiased, unemotional information and a sounding board for worries. If we do, we’ll get there with the facts way before TikTok gets there with the rubbish. But if we’re tying ourselves up in knots about how ‘inappropriate’ it is for a 9 year old to come out as gay, we’re essentially pushing their honest statement about their feelings and curiosity under the carpet, and we shouldn’t be surprised if they respond by turning round to another 9 year old and saying/doing something that genuinely is inappropriate.

YouTube, TikTok, Roblox, older siblings - then it spreads around the class. I don’t think it’s a completely new phenomenon, I also remember the “are you a virgin” questions in primary school 30+ years ago.

I imagine most of the kids are saying it for shock value/body humour rather than understanding what it means.

I’m sceptical of the posters who are so certain that their kids don’t ever talk like this. I expect some are just better than others about not doing it in front of parents/teachers.

I remember kids talking like this when I was in primary. It's just words that they know are naughty, rather than knowing what it all means.
It probably has got worse though with kids having free reign of YouTube/TikTok on screens.

This thread is horribly homophobic. You can’t in any way compare children who are approaching puberty realising that they might be or are gay with the same children displaying highly sexualised behaviour and using inappropriate language.

@Leah5678 I find it easier to speak about what happened in the third person? I know that's weird. I apologise for any confusion. I'm now having intensive therapy which helps a lot.

Exactly my issue with OPs post.

Sadly the police weren't called . I recall this more clearly now though heaven knows I've tried to forget about it for decades. No, both children were talked to sternly, the girl was blamed and the boy denied it . Apparently the girl had led him on. She was very young for her age, immature, used to flash her knickers at the boys. I think the teacher thought she had led them on? I don't agree that was the case. I saw it and she didn't . But the teacher had issues with her and apparently this girl when much younger had form for making up things like this, she wasn't quite all there mentally. Not daft but a bit odd. Had a hair trigger temper, very sensitive to criticism. self destructive as well, picked her skin until it bled, I expect was ND. But I don't think it was recognised in girls then. She did not lead them on though , I saw it.

They pushed her down and made her do it. She didn't want to.

That's terrible, far worse than dropping a few f bombs. I'm not surprised she cried if they were all adults he'd probably be arrested for sexual assault. Kids turn 10 in year 5 right? So age of criminal responsibility hope the police were called to give him a stern talking to or something

They were children who grew up to be gay. I never said it was inappropriate or said anything homophobic. Kids that young aren't concerned about things like that anyway it's adults who are worrying about it . Children are children they aren't sexual regardless of what orientation they will end up being.

@Princessconsuelabananahammock9 yeah it's a non issue at that age. I don't think many kids think of themselves as being gay or straight or whatever at that age. It's adults who make a big deal out of it .

Being gay isn't inappropriate.
All the gay people you know, were once gay children. How is that inappropriate?

What does being gay have to do with it? Kids have crushes. I don't get why that is part of it?
No one would care if a kid came out as straight.

Eh?

So. Much. Homophobia. in this thread.

Quite a lot of sexual talk similar to this in years 5 and 6 of my primary school but not as explicit as mentioning oral. Or using the F word.

We did have boys pushing girls on the ground, pinning them down and removing their underwear so they could look at genitals. Curiosity I guess. Actually I don't know if it happened more than once I remember it happened to one girl who was bullied a lot and a bit easily led. She cried a lot after it happened and think she complained. I don't know how typical this was of mixed schools then . My secondary was a girl's school, thank God!

This was very early 90s.

I am not surprised it has got worse with the internet and access to porn. Back in the 90s There were magazines on the top shelf of the newsagents and that was as near to porn as most kids could get if they even knew what to look for, I guess.

This reminds me of a song the boys at my junior school used to sing in 1976:

We have joy, we have fun
Licking Racquel Welsh's bum
But the bits we like best
Are the tits upon her chest

They would have been about 8.

My 9 y/o isn't like that, but in Year 4 he found out what a strip club is from a classmate telling everyone about a strip club scene in a GTA game that he plays with his dad.

This is one reason why we home educate. We're not screen free, but it is very restricted.
My kids are still kids and say themselves that they want their childhoods to last as long as possible and to mature at their own pace. It works. A boy (of about 9) at the park, asked my youngest something inappropriate recently and she said to him "No, I don't want to talk about that" walked away and came to tell me straight away. That's the beauty of it. They aren't totally sheltered, but they definitely aren't being exposed to too much, too soon.

It worries me that this generation are being overly sexualised. It's definitely the Internet. They are basically being groomed by Tik tok etc
At the same time, I'm very pro active in protecting my kids from these things. My kids are very much still kids. The 10 year old will ask me before downloading any app or even if there's something in particular she wants to look at on YouTube. And it will be watched on the TV in the living room.
But I do worry that when she's a bit older, she'll meet a boy who hasn't been protected, who'll have watched lots of porn and inappropriate things. I wish our society would do a better job of protecting kids, instead of letting them have access to these things. A lot of parents have basically thrown their hands up and are acting like it's inevitable that their kids watch this stuff.

I have 8 year old and 10 year old boy close relations, they are not like that and as far as I can tell neither are their friends
It doesn't seem like common behaviour at all.

It’s not at all inappropriate to have a crush at that age- my point is that the feelings don’t need to be particularly “sexual” for someone to know that they’re gay. I remember wanting to marry my science teacher and hold her hand when I was 10. It’s weird to lump those innocent feelings in with kids talking about “sexy balls”

My ten year old boy, and his friends, certainly do not talk about such things. Probably more to do with the sort of parents those children are being brought up by rather than a reflection of all primary school boys.

I’m going to mention to my DD’s Teacher at parents eve on Thursday about a 7 year old boy in her class telling the girls they’re ‘you’re a sexy girl/you’re hot’ & telling the boys to F off. I absolutely do not want my DD subjected to this at 7 years old🤮

I actually feel sorry for this boy, he’s apparently an inch away from SS involvement & has about 6 siblings, all of which I feel sorry for, the state they are. However, it’s just not what I want my child to hear at this age.

I think the sexy balls comment must be something from youtube or a game. Unfortunately I have heard my 9 year old say it. I did worry it was just him but when I took a couple of his friends out on a play date they were all saying similar. ( they ovs have no idea what their actually saying) my 10 year old who is two school years ahead doesn't speak like it.

Yep, TikTok. I've written about this before but when my DD was 8 she came home talking about how boys put (pointed to genitals) in girls (pointed to mouth and bum). After a long discussion, it turns out that a certain boy who has a Dad who wants to be his mate rather than his parent, had allowed him to access his TikTok account with no adult supervision.

The said child then went round and targeted every single girl in the class, telling them this and saying he was going to do it. Let's just say that this Dad faced a lot of very unhappy Mums in the playground the next day. The safeguarding lead was also informed.