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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would it bother you if..

79 replies

Srx1 · 19/11/2023 20:38

... your close friends didn't remember your first baby's first birthday?

OP posts:
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Original poster
Srx1 · 21/11/2023 22:58

Ah I see, ok sorry everyone- I will do better next time!

In regards to the topic and what some people mentioned - yes it seems to depend on the type of a friendship - mine are usually the kind that would make me think these occasions would be acknowledged. And I actually remembered first birthday of one of these friends' baby before I had my own. My close friends are very important to me so I do think of these things and mark special events in their lives as if they were my own.

But I am actually not as bothered as I normally would be as I have experienced on several occasions recently that some friendships are sadly not like they used to be. Or that people now mostly think of their lives only 🤷🏻‍♀️

OP posts:
CagneyAndLazy · 21/11/2023 08:48

Its a good idea to put some idea of what the thread is about so you dont end up thinking "oh thread, oh I've read this one" when browsing

Yep.

Imagine a full forum of thread titles like "Would it bother you if..." and "AIBU to think...", it would be unusable as you'd never know which thread was which from the list.

And people often do it for clickbaity type reasons, too - they know readers will now have to open their thread to see what it's about so trying to draw more interest that way.

Not suggesting you did that, OP, but it's annoying for that reason too.

yellowlane · 20/11/2023 12:46

Nope. Couldn't care less.

Stephisaur · 20/11/2023 12:17

It wouldn't bother me, but then I didn't remember my own DC's 1st Birthday.

I asked DH why he was booking that day off work 🤦‍♀️

In my defense, DC was only 8 weeks old at the time of their birthday, so still very new to us 😂

waitholdup · 20/11/2023 11:59

Srx1 · 20/11/2023 11:44

Crisis!!

I literally saw thread titles similar to this. Was I supposed to put the entire question in? You didn't have to read it if it's an issue.

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Its a good idea to put some idea of what the thread is about so you dont end up thinking "oh thread, oh I've read this one" when browsing

Original poster
Srx1 · 20/11/2023 11:44

waitholdup · 20/11/2023 11:36

Nope - and your thread title is terrible

Edited

Crisis!!

I literally saw thread titles similar to this. Was I supposed to put the entire question in? You didn't have to read it if it's an issue.

OP posts:
waitholdup · 20/11/2023 11:36

Nope - and your thread title is terrible

Flamingogirl08 · 20/11/2023 11:35

I am surprised at the amount of Nos and people saying they don't care about friends kids birthdays etc?

My friends and I are all involved in each others lives and kids lives so yes it would bother me. We do make a real effort to maintain the friendships though. I suppose it depends on what the friendship is like.

ludocris · 20/11/2023 10:22

Yes, it happened to me and it really upset me. I was one of the last to have a child and had made the effort to remember each of their children's birthdays over the years, and to send cards/gifts.

However, a few years on I now realise that life is too busy to keep on top of this stuff. I've stopped sending cards for my friends' kids and just try to send a message instead.

Nocturna · 20/11/2023 10:01

Srx1 · 19/11/2023 21:42

Why? Sorry I don't know all the 'rules'

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Because your thread title gives no indication what the actual content of your thread is about

Mejustme3 · 19/11/2023 22:55

Absolutely no . I have a friend who remembers my granddaughter birthday…she is so lovely 🥰

Fairospop22 · 19/11/2023 22:52

no I wouldn’t expect them to, unless I’d arranged a birthday party

meganorks · 19/11/2023 22:50

No. I'm not that sentimental over them and I realise people have their own stuff going on. It's not even like the child would notice

MolkosTeenageAngst · 19/11/2023 22:50

I think a lot of people are really rubbish with dates and don’t really use diaries/ calendars etc and rely on social media to remind them of friend’s birthdays. I am very good at remembering dates (I have autism, not sure if that’s why) and used to be surprised when I’d mention to people a mutual friends birthday was coming up and they would always have no idea of the date. I usually remind my friend groups when big dates like children’s birthdays etc are coming up because I know there’s no way anyone else will remember and I don’t take it personally when they forget my birthday if I haven’t dropped a hint a few days before!

WildflowersInAMasonJar · 19/11/2023 22:46

No. Especially if they don’t have kids themselves. Why would they care

Each to their own but I can’t imagine not caring about my friends children birthdays and acknowledging them. In our group, some don’t have children but they’re still close to all our kids.

Pinkelephant66 · 19/11/2023 22:21

No. Especially if they don’t have kids themselves. Why would they care

junbean · 19/11/2023 21:51

No, it's too much. I can't remember anyone's birthday without reminders. Just remind them beforehand, it's not hard.

Raffington55 · 19/11/2023 21:51

Close friends? Yes it would bother me.

vincettenoir · 19/11/2023 21:50

No and I don’t remember theirs unless I’m invited to a birthday party or something.

Jewelspun · 19/11/2023 21:50

Not at all.

Mamato29192 · 19/11/2023 21:50

No

OrderOfTheKookaburra · 19/11/2023 21:50

How have you not said in conversations "I can't believe DD is going to be 1 in x date!"?

If I want people to remember, I make sure I remember to prompt.

But then again I'm crap with dates so understand why people forget.

CurlewKate · 19/11/2023 21:49

No.

Original poster
Srx1 · 19/11/2023 21:49

@WhatGoesUpMustComeDown They're not really, I think it is more down to the type of a friendship. I thought mine were the ones where one would acknowledge this as I know what kind of stuff we'd share with one another over the years. I wouldn't expect the same from just any friend

OP posts:
WildflowersInAMasonJar · 19/11/2023 21:49

It would never happen so hard to say. I suppose, yes it would. My friends are like extra mums to my children. I’m not from here and even my friends from back home always remember and I remember theirs.