He’s done it again

it’s the most un-me thing he could have picked, I have always worn plain un-patterend clothes!

Not being funny but that's the sort of thing that someone else wouldn't notice about you. I couldn't say any of my friends have a view on pattern. But I bet some of them do!

Wow how romantic. So then he doesn't have to make any effort at all than wrapping it.

Get better partners and stop being martyrs.

I really like them and would be happy to receive and wear them.

That’s where you went wrong. Send him the links then all he has to do is click and buy. He’s clearly a very lazy present giver.

I agree with you @Soshitatgifts the dressing gown is hideous. The slippers are ok if you like pink.

I’d be more disappointed in the fact that he’s gone on Amazon, done a search for ‘women’s slippers size 4’ and clicked on the first pair that pops up.

You have my full sympathy, I got a teens pink hairdryer and curling tongue set complete with pink case last year 🙁

So you say: those are vile, luckily it’s easy to return Amazon stuff, these are the ones I want.

Next year, order it yourself and give it him to wrap, much less hassle.

It works both ways, it's not just a man thing, it's about knowing specific term used in a particular subject. Mules might seem obvious to the half of the population that typically wears them but to the other half of the population it's not necessarily something they understand. If you want something specific give the person the details of the specific. DH wants paint for painting war gaming miniatures. It is completely pointless him saying 'oh just grab me some paint please' he has given me the brand, type and colours he wants. To add an element of surprise he has listed 10 colours for me to pick 5 from (and for an added surprise and not at all because it was a black Friday offer I have added a set of paint brushes).

The thing is - I understand he has tried. He thinks he’s listened, but he hasn’t taken on board OP’s actual taste and what she actually said. I think he saw this as a problem to be solved and thinks he’s done well by getting into roughly the right ball park. But by not actually properly listening or really understanding her, he’s just wasting money because she won’t want these things.

This is exactly why I find presents at Christmas/birthdays so stressful. Yes to some people it’s all about a surprise but I don’t want that, it’s stress and misery for me because I feel I have to perform surprise and happiness and I’m bad at that, so it’s embarrassing and awkward.

I think if you love someone and know them well it’s reasonable to ask what they want and respect if they would prefer to ask for a specific thing. You can always get them a surprise box of chocs or something alongside.

Eh? I’m 5’2” and wear size 8 shoes. It’s not that unusual. 🤷🏻‍♀️

But they fit the brief (and I like them).

If you have something specific in mind then you need to give more details.

I tend to send links of various things I like and DH can choose from them, or I will say something like this so he can then choose something off the list.

Best thing just buy what you want he pays and wraps them up.Problem solved,no disappointment,no money wasted no sending back.He can get you a surprise if he wishes as well.Veryone happy.

🤣

I like those and I'd be delighted with both, send them to me instead if you don't want them 🤣🤣🤣

No more information needed.

Shoot him!

Then send a link.

Pointless atTo rude sorry meant “pointless attitude “

Honestly, I think you are coming across as a complete nightmare and think you've got off really lightly in these comments! If you want something specific, buy it yourself! I never understand people who ask for something as a gift when they know full well they have an exact thing in mind and would be upset with anything that wasn't how they pictured it. Why not suggest something less problematic for a present and buy the dressing gown and granny slippers yourself?

Also, as a sidenote. The slippers outside thing is really grim. Can't get my head around why anyone would wear slippers to 'nip outside' in. That's rank.

I feel your pain OP. I’m single now and it’s such a relief not to go through this with ex!

In the end I would just tell him a few things I would like - specific things like this dressing gown from this brand, this lamp from this brand, this particular book, etc. he could choose which to get and choose things like what colour (if relevant).

He didn’t like it as he always insisted presents should be a surprise. But it was just too excruciating as like you I hate opening presents in front of people and having to act.

presents for him also had to be a surprise and then he’d always be unenthusiastic, never use them, or exchange them. Pointless atTo rude all round. And I would also have been fine with not exchanging presents at all but oh no that wasn’t allowed either!

sorry seem to be having a rant…

Maybe that's OP's size? Lots of women have size seven feet.

He hasn’t thought about it, he’s ignored OP’s specific instructions.

And people want OP to reward him by doing a complicated process of buying something else, unwrapping the shitty gifts, secretly wrapping the new gifts to resemble the shitty gifts in the same wrapping paper, and then have to stutter out an explanation on Christmas Day as to why the items changed, thereby giving HIM the moral high ground.

Ridiculous.

Does he realise he's bought size 7/8? Has he ordered them for himself?

I can relate. My husband of many many years will pick out something pink if left to his own devices. I’m much more white/grey. Is it conditioning for them to think pink is nice/cheerful/what women want?!