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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

He’s done it again

313 replies

Soshitatgifts · 19/11/2023 09:51

Long time user with name change here!

Firstly I KNOW this is a bit of a non problem and I’m being a bit of a brat!

DH and I had a discussion and decided that Christmas would be pared right back this year -absolutely not an issue.
I told him all I wanted was a dressing gown and slippers, and due to previous history was very quite specific about the kind of thing I wanted, and only just stopped short of sending him actual link wish I had now. Basically a cosy but still “nice” dressing gown and fairly structure slippers which I could wear outside, hanging out washing etc-think faux sheepskin mules kind of thing.

He said to me this morning “don’t look at the Amazon account, there are deliveries coming for me”

Being me of COURSE I looked 😳and he’s ordered the most fucking hideous dressing gown, think oversized checked lumberjack shirt, and marshmallow like slippers.

AIBU to give it a couple of days and “innocently” bombard him with links to what I’d actually like? I’m a terrible actress when it comes to opening disappointing presents, and I know that no matter how cold it gets, I won’t be wearing that dressing gown!

OP posts:
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wharminere · 19/11/2023 12:13

I'd be unhappy with any dressing gown bought from Amazon. That and pjs are where I'm prepared to shell out for quality. Amazon is all polyester

Original poster
Soshitatgifts · 19/11/2023 12:13

Doggymummar · 19/11/2023 12:10

You have no idea of their finances, not everyone can afford the White Company or other expensive alternatives.

Edited
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We could have White Company etc if I wanted, but I’m not worried about brands, happy to wear White Company or supermarket when it comes to things like pjs (just not fecking Lumberjacks R Us🤣)

OP posts:
Goodluckanddontfitup · 19/11/2023 12:12

Ungrateful. He’s gone to the trouble of trying to pick something for you and you are on the internet taking the piss. No need.

Original poster
Soshitatgifts · 19/11/2023 12:11

ThickSkinnedSoWhat · 19/11/2023 12:08

The fact you keep going on about 'lumberjack' is particularly childish, whether you like checked patterns or not. Many pyjamas come in that style and nobody is likely to see you in them other than family. Maybe he fancied getting you something different because you always wear plain? You could have just asked his thought process instead of slandering the poor man for being kind enough to buy you gifts that fit the brief you asked for.

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I didn’t think I needed to put “lighthearted” in the thread title, but there we go

OP posts:
crumblingschools · 19/11/2023 12:10

You can buy branded clothes from Amazon. DH bought me a high quality brand waterproof coat which was the same he could have got from the hiking shop in the next town from us, but was cheaper on Amazon

Doggymummar · 19/11/2023 12:10

Hibiscrubbed · 19/11/2023 12:08

I know. It was meant to be. The quality of those items is appalling.

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You have no idea of their finances, not everyone can afford the White Company or other expensive alternatives.

Gowlett · 19/11/2023 12:10

My DH would never be able to pick what I like (though he has randomly bought nice things). You’ve gotta send links.

Also, ordering on Amazon he’ll press the first thing he’s found. DH wouldn’t be arsed looking for things in a shop…

Even when I send him a picture for shopping (of bread or baby snacks) he’ll come home & say they didn’t have any.

Janeandme · 19/11/2023 12:09

Hibiscrubbed · 19/11/2023 12:06

Wow. I think you’re being far too generous to this man. He chose to shop at Amazon and buy this shit because it involved absolutely no effort and very little expense. You do realise that don’t you?! 😂

We don’t all have our bars on the floor like you seem to. And the OP isn’t asking for the moon on a stick, just not to have some polyester effortless shit from Amazon.

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What the heck. Stand by your beds everyone. Apparently it’s a crime to shop for crimbo pressies on Amazon and we should also be spending loads more than this.

check your privilege 😱

Mumto1boyo · 19/11/2023 12:09

Ooo I like what he ordered.

Hibiscrubbed · 19/11/2023 12:08

LuluBlakey1 · 19/11/2023 10:48

That's a snotty comment.

Show quote history

I know. It was meant to be. The quality of those items is appalling.

ThickSkinnedSoWhat · 19/11/2023 12:08

Soshitatgifts · 19/11/2023 11:12

To those saying that I’m being ungrateful because I hate the lumberjack print, are you missing the part where I’ve said several times that it’s the most un-me thing he could have picked, I have always worn plain un-patterend clothes!

The fact you keep going on about 'lumberjack' is particularly childish, whether you like checked patterns or not. Many pyjamas come in that style and nobody is likely to see you in them other than family. Maybe he fancied getting you something different because you always wear plain? You could have just asked his thought process instead of slandering the poor man for being kind enough to buy you gifts that fit the brief you asked for.

Hibiscrubbed · 19/11/2023 12:06

ElFupacabra · 19/11/2023 10:34

You poor husband. You gave him a vague idea of what you wanted. He bought a exactly that, even matching slippers and you’re turning your nose up despite you knowing he never lives up to your impossible standards misses the mark.

Honestly, if you’re going to have a shit fit over not getting the exact thing you had in mind you need to take all the emotions out of gift giving and just make it transactional and say “get me this exact thing, I don’t want your thoughts or kindness put into it, just give me this”.

Wow. I think you’re being far too generous to this man. He chose to shop at Amazon and buy this shit because it involved absolutely no effort and very little expense. You do realise that don’t you?! 😂

We don’t all have our bars on the floor like you seem to. And the OP isn’t asking for the moon on a stick, just not to have some polyester effortless shit from Amazon.

Swimaway9 · 19/11/2023 12:06

Soshitatgifts · 19/11/2023 09:55

These are screenshots of the monstrosities

"Monstrosities" 🤣🤣🤣

Just go ahead and tell him the truth then if not too late cancel the items. Keep us updated 🤣

prawncocktailqueen · 19/11/2023 12:04

Soshitatgifts · 19/11/2023 10:19

I think it’s the lumberjack print of the dressing gown that’s set me off! Never in 30 years have I EVER worn anything remotely lumberjack shirt like! I ALWAYS go for plain over pattern. The slippers I can just about live with and with @HamstersAreMyLife suggestion, I can get something like crocs to keep at the back door.

These are the slippers I meant, and they’re pretty much like a pair my dd has, and I did say “A pair like dd’s would be perfect”

I know I’m being a princess about this, he does try and means well, but just always gets wide of the mark…going forward I think I’m going to just have to do links and save disappointment on my part and hurt on his

Edited

I knew this was exactly the type of slippers you meant (I have Ugg mule slippers) Aldi had similar a couple of weeks ago, they seemed really decent quality.

But yes, send him links and pretend you've never seen the Amazon order 🙈

Original poster
Soshitatgifts · 19/11/2023 12:03

@Janeandme I’ll concede your point that the slippers are like dd’s insofar as there are 2 of them. The likeness stops there 😂

OP posts:
Janeandme · 19/11/2023 12:01

Such an odd way to behave. The slippers are very similar to the daughters on that they are mules, and he’s picked a cosey dressing gown and slippers he hopes will match,

op if your wishes are so specific why not send links. He’s not done a bad job based on your request.

BlueGrey1 · 19/11/2023 12:00

Are you sure he’s not pranking you as he knew you would look at the Amazon account.
He might be intending to return it

EnterFunnyNameHere · 19/11/2023 11:59

nikkinakers · 19/11/2023 11:04

Does he realise he's bought size 7/8? Has he ordered them for himself?

Umm wut? You do realise there are tonnes of women out there with (heaven forfend) size 7-8 feet?! What a weird comment!

MassageForLife · 19/11/2023 11:57

I think the slippers are 'like' the sheepskin ones - they are a very similar style. Maybe you should have said 'a pair exactly the same as DD's'. I think he's bang on what you asked for, and he's even made sure the slippers and the gown match.

It's a shame you don't like them, but don't be too hard on him - he's bought what you asked for, even if it's not what you want!

crumblingschools · 19/11/2023 11:56

The cosier sets of PJs I have mainly have a checked pattern.

sweetgingercat · 19/11/2023 11:55

ALWAYS send the link 👘

Gnomegnomegnome · 19/11/2023 11:55

Maybe he’s trying to introduce patterns and colours to your life.

Original poster
Soshitatgifts · 19/11/2023 11:55

@Namechange4234 I was non specific about colour as I’m really not that fussy, but it turns out I AM fussy about not wanting a lumberjack print….If I had known such a thing existed I’d have said “a cosy dressing gown that’s not a lumberjack print”😂

OP posts:
MinnieL · 19/11/2023 11:54

DisquietintheRanks · 19/11/2023 10:12

"Cosy but nice" covers a whole range of styles and tastes. Wtf did you set him up to fail?

Right😂

sweetpickle23 · 19/11/2023 11:54

Pyjamas and dressing gowns are quite commonly in a checked pattern I think? I wouldn't immediately think "lumberjack".

I think what he's picked is in line with what you described. If you wanted something specific you should have sent him the links. Expecting him to read your mind then getting annoyed when he doesn't seems like a waste of energy.

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