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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

He’s done it again

313 replies

Soshitatgifts · 19/11/2023 09:51

Long time user with name change here!

Firstly I KNOW this is a bit of a non problem and I’m being a bit of a brat!

DH and I had a discussion and decided that Christmas would be pared right back this year -absolutely not an issue.
I told him all I wanted was a dressing gown and slippers, and due to previous history was very quite specific about the kind of thing I wanted, and only just stopped short of sending him actual link wish I had now. Basically a cosy but still “nice” dressing gown and fairly structure slippers which I could wear outside, hanging out washing etc-think faux sheepskin mules kind of thing.

He said to me this morning “don’t look at the Amazon account, there are deliveries coming for me”

Being me of COURSE I looked 😳and he’s ordered the most fucking hideous dressing gown, think oversized checked lumberjack shirt, and marshmallow like slippers.

AIBU to give it a couple of days and “innocently” bombard him with links to what I’d actually like? I’m a terrible actress when it comes to opening disappointing presents, and I know that no matter how cold it gets, I won’t be wearing that dressing gown!

OP posts:
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CallieQ · 19/11/2023 13:21

If it’s not permitted to respond to posters does that mean you’re picking on OP?

No but you're comment was unfair and incorrect

wesurecouldstandgladioli · 19/11/2023 13:21

Iwasafool · 19/11/2023 13:17

She said she'd be happy with the same thing but plain so where does comfort come into it? The one he picked looks like it will be warmer than the one she picked so if it is about feeling the cold he did well.

Bit homophobic are you?

Show quote history

it’s not comfortable for OP, he knows what OP likes and got something she would never wear.

Homophobic, give me a break. You said he might fancy her in the lumberjack one, which seems unlikely.

XelaM · 19/11/2023 13:20

Soundsmadeup · 19/11/2023 13:17

It's not the not liking the pattern that makes you sound like a snob it's the way you describe it and where it was purchased. Anyway I see you found something that fits the bill. He was thinking modern you were looking for something a bit more of what your Nan would go for.

Exactly 😁

wesurecouldstandgladioli · 19/11/2023 13:18

CallieQ · 19/11/2023 13:15

Loads of other posters say the same thing
Why pick on me @wesurecouldstandgladioli

Eh? Read the page upthread, I’ve responded to others too.

If it’s not permitted to respond to posters does that mean you’re picking on OP?

Iwasafool · 19/11/2023 13:17

wesurecouldstandgladioli · 19/11/2023 13:07

So OP should sacrifice her comfort for his gaze? Ridiculous.

And if he finds the lumberjack look attractive he is probably gay.

Show quote history

She said she'd be happy with the same thing but plain so where does comfort come into it? The one he picked looks like it will be warmer than the one she picked so if it is about feeling the cold he did well.

Bit homophobic are you?

Soundsmadeup · 19/11/2023 13:17

It's not the not liking the pattern that makes you sound like a snob it's the way you describe it and where it was purchased. Anyway I see you found something that fits the bill. He was thinking modern you were looking for something a bit more of what your Nan would go for.

CrispsandCheeseSandwich · 19/11/2023 13:15

sweetpickle23 · 19/11/2023 11:54

Pyjamas and dressing gowns are quite commonly in a checked pattern I think? I wouldn't immediately think "lumberjack".

I think what he's picked is in line with what you described. If you wanted something specific you should have sent him the links. Expecting him to read your mind then getting annoyed when he doesn't seems like a waste of energy.

I agree. Pyjama sets are frequently that sort of pattern, I've never owned any but I've never thought "lumberjack".
And tbh if someone said a "cosy and nice" dressing gown, something like that in a common nightwear pattern would seem to fit the bill as far as I can tell.

I'm also not sure that your general style necessarily applies to pyjamas/dressing gowns. Last night I wore a pyjama top with jungle animals on it. I wouldn't wear that sort of pattern during the day though. I imagine a reasonable number of people who do buy checked pjs don't wear check generally day to day.

CallieQ · 19/11/2023 13:15

Loads of other posters say the same thing
Why pick on me @wesurecouldstandgladioli

JANEY205 · 19/11/2023 13:14

Being rude about it being from Amazon does make you sound an arse. I prefer the one he picked to the hideous one you ordered from Next 🫣 But then we all wear plaid in this house and love it! Your new gown reminds me of a Victorian housekeeper. I do only wear sheepskin slippers so am with you on that but I find it really childish you keep saying ‘it’s the principle of him needing to click a button.’ It’s obviously not when he did that and then you moaned. If you want something specific you do need to order it yourself. I’d never in a million years order that ugly next dressing gown for anyone, sorry.

Soozikinzii · 19/11/2023 13:14

I have to send actual links, perhaps in 2 styles and 2 strict colour choices to get a 'surprise' ! So I really do feel your pain .

CallieQ · 19/11/2023 13:13

Let’s face it…you were always going to hate whatever OP chose

Wtf are you on about?

I looked at both and that is my genuine opinion ok? I am entitled to one

mibbelucieachwell · 19/11/2023 13:10

I kind of get you. Especially about the slippers.

However, the dressing gown fits your brief and hardly anyone will see it.

Otoh, could you decide you need a dressing gown before Christmas as December is cold and tell him apologetically you've changed your mind and decided to buy yourself a dressing gown?

Kudos to him for getting your present ordered in plenty of time.

JANEY205 · 19/11/2023 13:08

I have the exact slippers and sounds like I also have the dressing gown you want! (Will post links).

Difference is I sent my DH links. He also lets me know specifically the items he wants. It’s still a gift and makes sure we know exactly what we are getting and don’t disappoint the other person.

Amazon accept returns within a certain window and so don’t take tags off and return them and re-order what you do want but I would be kind to DH about it!

margotrose · 19/11/2023 13:08

His definitely fits the brief better than yours does!

wesurecouldstandgladioli · 19/11/2023 13:08

CallieQ · 19/11/2023 13:04

This is what I’ve ordered ….still looking for slippers though

I prefer his choice!

Let’s face it…you were always going to hate whatever OP chose…

BlueGrey1 · 19/11/2023 13:08

Think his choices is cuter and cozier aswell, the next one is a bit drab

XelaM · 19/11/2023 13:08

I prefer his choice. Yours doesn't look cosy at all.

wesurecouldstandgladioli · 19/11/2023 13:07

Iwasafool · 19/11/2023 13:05

Well he'll be the one looking at it unless the OP plans on standing gazing at herself in a mirror. Maybe he's giving her a hint, nothing wrong with your husband fancying you after 30 years.

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So OP should sacrifice her comfort for his gaze? Ridiculous.

And if he finds the lumberjack look attractive he is probably gay.

Iwasafool · 19/11/2023 13:05

wesurecouldstandgladioli · 19/11/2023 13:03

Who cares what he fancies? Op is the one who has to wear it.

Show quote history

Well he'll be the one looking at it unless the OP plans on standing gazing at herself in a mirror. Maybe he's giving her a hint, nothing wrong with your husband fancying you after 30 years.

CallieQ · 19/11/2023 13:04

This is what I’ve ordered ….still looking for slippers though

I prefer his choice!

wesurecouldstandgladioli · 19/11/2023 13:03

Iwasafool · 19/11/2023 13:00

Maybe he fancies you in a print? A change is as good a rest and all that.

Show quote history

Who cares what he fancies? Op is the one who has to wear it.

Iwasafool · 19/11/2023 13:00

Soshitatgifts · 19/11/2023 11:12

To those saying that I’m being ungrateful because I hate the lumberjack print, are you missing the part where I’ve said several times that it’s the most un-me thing he could have picked, I have always worn plain un-patterend clothes!

Maybe he fancies you in a print? A change is as good a rest and all that.

CallieQ · 19/11/2023 12:59

Maybe you shouldn't have looked

CallieQ · 19/11/2023 12:58

Looks like a nice dressing gown

Swimaway9 · 19/11/2023 12:58

On a final note, love your own choice of dressing gown, enjoy it. I'm still laughing at calling the first one a monstrosity though 🤣