To consider letting DD11 shave

I was "too young" at 13-14 when embarrased by the luxuriant dark hair under my arms that was on display in my dancing leotard and attracting comment from younger dancers. Not allowed to do anything with it, and not having my own money to buy something, I used a discarded rusty old razor lying around for a while and got in trouble for being unhygienic... yet still not given an appropriate solution. When I'd finally got some summer spending money, I spent it on a Venus. DM never really grasped that my body did things on a different timescale to hers, and that a need to adapt was necessary.

Electric razors are an easy, low maintainence way to manage unwanted hair. I'd favour an electric over wet shaving for a beginner.

My mum was really weird about it too, no idea why. I just stole one on my dad's razors and dry shaved. It used to burn so badly, I wish she'd helped me to do it properly.
She never got me a bra either, I just used to borrow hers.

So i think help her to do it properly

It isn’t a big deal - let her do it! I would rather they did these things safely and supported than do it by themselves and possibly hurt themselves! She has come to you for help thats brilliant.

It’s good that she can ask you to do this. I think I was shaving by high school at 12 as my friends in high school were already (my best friends were a year older) and I was doing it by stealing my mums razor as she told me I was too young even though I had dark hair!

I am surprised your DD hasn’t been more resistant to you putting it off if I am honest!

I had dark leg and under arm hair and started shaving at 9… I’d have been horribly self conscious if I didn’t even at that young age.

I know you are “allowing” her now but I honestly don’t think 11 is that young so don’t worry about that. By Y6 I think all of my friends shaved.

She needs to feel like she can talk to you about these things and be heard in a non judgmental way though. It’ll serve you well in later life if she needs help with contraception etc so she doesn’t feel embarrassed to come and talk to you.

My DD was definitely shaving by that age. I still remember the teasing in PE in secondary if girls had arm pit or leg hair. I showed my DD how to shave, she prefers to do a wet shave in the shower which is what I do too. Had no problems (15 now)

My dd took dh’s razor and shaved. Luckily no ill effects. I then taught her to do it safely.

I get the mother thing op. My mother just looked down on me and told me she didn’t need to shave. Then finally gave in and handed me my father’s old razor. Something like this. I skinned myself in place, bled profusely made an almighty mess and was in agony.

I'm glad you've decided to agree OP. My mum was like yours, she shaved but had a weird thing about never allowing me or my sisters to. I had to wait until I was old enough to go to the shops by myself, buy a razor with pocket money, and hide it in my bedroom, just taking it into the bathroom when I showered.

I've never understood it, and we're not close enough that I've ever bothered asking.

DD(11) goes through phases of asking although she hasn't got round to it yet. Two years ago the boys in her class were quite horrible to her about her hairy legs and it bothered her. I explained all the possibilities and in the end she decided to leave it. She knows we have everything she needs if she wants to and I made her promise not to steal a razor and try alone, which is what I did and cut my legs to ribbons.

Bizarrely, as soon as she knew she had the choice of removal method and can try whenever she wants, she wasn't interested in trying any out!

I’m pleased to sed your updates OP. I was shaving at her age (40s now) and do help her. I still remember my first time, l got in a bit of a mess.

Just let her.

Dd1 didn't even ask. She just grabbed my razor one day and did it. She'd have been about 11. She's never cut herself, but I did make sure she knew (once I'd realised!) how do shave without injury. It's quite sweet that when dd2 decided she wanted to get rid of the hair under her arms she asked dd1. Then told me to buy the razor her sister recommended.

My daughter was very hairy (got it from me, sorry dd!) and first had a leg wax at 8 years old (I did it for her).
Sadly even in this day and age kids can be incredibly cruel and any noticeable 'difference' is a beacon for comments and teasing.
My daughter is 13 now and hit and miss as to whether she bothers removing her body hair. She knows she has a choice and that's enough for her.

I supported my dd to start shaving at age 10. All fine.

Buy her a rechargeable wet & dry shaver, safer than a disposable, get her some sensitive skin shaving foam or gel, I buy mine from Aldi, it's as good as the King of Shaves one.

I would seriously consider an alternative to shaving! My DD is 11 and we are getting to that stage soon, although at the moment she's in no rush as it's winter, so we'll probably wait until next summer. I'm quite hairy and I imagine she will be. Shaving my legs has been a regret of mine forever. I started at 11 and I'm only completely smooth for half a day, so I spend most of my time with spikey legs, which is what is putting my daughter off shaving. So I'm looking at alternatives for her. At the moment I'm thinking of an epilator or laser removal. I've thought about the cream remover or bleaching the hairs, but I don't want to use unnecessary chemicals if they are harmful in anyway. Shaving equals bristles, which is what I'm trying to avoid for my DD.

No it’s fine - she’s asked and it’s a normal age to start.

A good razor and shaving foam so she doesn’t cut herself. Also body lotion.

My mum was the complete opposite. She bought me an electric razor for christmas when I was about 10. I opened it in front of everyone and was absolutely mortified! She did the same with the book about periods a year before! Cringe!

Right decision OP

My DD started shaving at 7 or 8. She had hairy legs and was a dancer so was more conscious of them than her peers. She knows she can use the shaving foam and razors in the bathroom if she wants but now she is 12 she hardly ever bothers, I think the novelty wore off quite quickly.

Dm was against us shaving. Eventually she let dsis (who had very hairy legs and dark hair) use some sort of hair removal cream which took her half a day to use.

I otoh didn't bother to ask her and used to just borrow df's razor quietly when I wanted to shave. First time I cut myself quite badly, but after that was fine.

Dsis commented one time (when we were adults) that I didn't need to shave because I hardly had any leg hair anyway, and I told her I used df's razor*. her face was a picture of a mixture of "why didn't I think of that" and "how dare you"!🤣🤣🤣

Moral is though, get her a razor if she wants one. Her dad (if around) might be quite thankful.

*I haven't worked out if df knew I did that. He was always very careful with anything he used, and I would expect (looking back) him to realise that his razors were blunting quickly etc. And he was normally very strict about not touching his stuff, but I suspect he would have felt that if we wanted to do things that other girls did in the name of beauty then we should, and he quite liked initiative being taken.

My mum didn't let me shave when I was getting teased at school so one night I just did it myself. Got it completely wrong - dry shaved and made a right mess of my legs. I wish my mum had reacted differently. I also wish she'd suggested other options like waxing. Shaving just seemed to make my hair grow thicker and faster and my legs never felt smooth even straight after shaving. I wonder if I'd waxed from a young age if it would be better now.

Dd has been shaving since she was 8. She is rather hairy (sorry- my side of the family!) and was a gymnast- so was often in a leotard and being looked it. She shaved her legs at that point and her armpits when she noticed them I guess- never asked her! Her body her decision. She uses the intuition razor which you don’t need gel with- just water. They’re great and she’s had one cut in several years so it’s pretty safe too.

It's strange NOT to let her remove her body hair at that age.
Please don't force her to have something that makes her feel uncomfortable for some arbitrary reason that you can't even articulate.