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AIBU?

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Original poster

To dump him for this?!

35 replies

Ruthfulmum · 14/11/2023 09:14

I have only been going out with this guy for a month. He said he’s a non smoker but I saw an vape thing in his car- says he does not consider vaping as smoking. Could have said I don’t smoke but I vape! C’mon.

OP posts:
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Verv · 14/11/2023 20:18

Unless he puts the vape in his mouth and sets fire to it so he can inhale - he doesn’t smoke.

Dump him for whatever you want but vaping isn’t smoking.

ImCamembertTheBigCheese · 14/11/2023 20:12

Gardeningtime · 14/11/2023 13:05

Honestly wouldn’t even occur to me. I think if you’ve issues though I can see why you’d expect that, maybe change the question to do you smoke or vape?

Show quote history

If I had issues? Not sure what you mean.

I can't stand cigarette smoke. While to me vaping is nowhere near the same, it is for the OP.

Loveandloveandlove · 14/11/2023 14:19

It would be a dealbreaker for me. I just don’t like the constant dragging sounds and the fact it’s addictive.

Original poster
Ruthfulmum · 14/11/2023 13:44

He is a great guy, I enjoy his company. I have a young boy and I think of him too and n case this becomes a long term relationship.

OP posts:
Original poster
Ruthfulmum · 14/11/2023 13:41

Oh no, this came out the wrong way. I meant to say that people I do life with happen not to smoke or vape. If this wasn’t the case maybe my views would be different.

OP posts:
BardRelic · 14/11/2023 13:34

This came out at an event I was stewarding at recently, where smoking was not allowed. Vaping was included in that, because vapes can spark and so are also a fire hazard. They also smell and can be quite unpleasant to be around.

It really is up to you OP. You can dump him for any reason you see fit. If it were me, I'd take it on balance. If he was otherwise great, I'd probably continuing seeing him. If I were not quite sure anyway, I'd stop.

ComtesseDeSpair · 14/11/2023 13:13

You can dump him for any reason. But expecting him to realise that you see vaping the same as smoking and that he should too is like asking somebody if they regularly eat at McDonalds and then getting upset when you find out they regularly eat at Nando’s because they should have told you.

WotNoUserName · 14/11/2023 13:12

It's a dealbreaker for me, so I'd dump him. If it's a dealbreaker for you then you have every right to dump him.

You can dump anyone for any reason you want.

Parky04 · 14/11/2023 13:11

I wouldn't date anyone who smokes or vapes. If it's a problem for you, then end the relationship.

MrsPinkL · 14/11/2023 13:10

Well he vapes not smokes. Going from being a heavy smoke to vaping is an achievement.

You don’t keep the company of those who vape or smoke, well ok Mrs up on her high horse looks you’re dumping him then doesn’t it?

He could be a murderer, a racist, take coke but vaping how utterly outrageous

Gardeningtime · 14/11/2023 13:05

ImCamembertTheBigCheese · 14/11/2023 12:14

I agree OP, I would expect someone to say 'No I don't smoke but I vape' in answer to a smoking question.

Honestly wouldn’t even occur to me. I think if you’ve issues though I can see why you’d expect that, maybe change the question to do you smoke or vape?

Original poster
Ruthfulmum · 14/11/2023 13:03

I think I have an ick because I am quite health conscious and don’t keep company of people who smoke or vape, usually see this in strangers. He is an ex heavy smoker so I feel maybe for him to vape is an achievement 🤷🏻‍♀️ or more so a step in the right direction

OP posts:
ImCamembertTheBigCheese · 14/11/2023 12:14

I agree OP, I would expect someone to say 'No I don't smoke but I vape' in answer to a smoking question.

WiIIowT · 14/11/2023 12:09

He doesn't smoke, he vapes. If this bothers you maybe you already have the ick.

emmetgirl · 14/11/2023 11:45

@GalileoHumpkins

This.

Gardeningtime · 14/11/2023 11:41

I vape, I don’t smoke. Very few if any vapers would classify themselves as smokers. You sound a bit ott. I’d dump as he will have a lucky escape.

gamerchick · 14/11/2023 11:39

You can end a relationship for any reason you want OP.

I prefer smoking me. At least they bugger off outside and aren't constantly sucking on them, like a dummy.

justalittlesnoel · 14/11/2023 11:39

Tbh after a month I'd cut loose for any reason!

I understand people think vapes aren't the same as regular cigarettes which is fine, but if you'd class yourself as a non smoker I'd class vapes in the same category personally, they're e-cigarettes. Weird that he'd advertise himself as a non smoker and not mention the vape? It's like someone saying they don't play football at the weekend, but it turns out they play American football instead. Different rules but kinda the same thing, you wouldn't deny one without mentioning the other if that makes sense?

It's still vaporising chemicals and inhaling them, just without the burning part. But I'm a non smoker (of any kind) so it's more black and white to me I think 🤷🏻‍♀️

Pinkpinkpink15 · 14/11/2023 11:38

I don't smoke or vape & detest both in equal measure.

people I know who vape consider themselves non smokers & for the best part I agree.

its like asking if someone watches football & they say 'no' then getting pissy when they're Rugby fans & thinking they lied to you.

he didn't lie.

id stop seeing him because he vapes 🙅🏻‍♀️

GiveOverRover · 14/11/2023 11:30

He doesn't consider vaping is smoking (neither do I for the record, but that's irelevant) and describes himself as a non smoker. You seem to think that vaping is on a par with smoking and have a problem with it.

That's the only thing that matters, do you want to start a relationship with a man that vapes? There's your answer.

Vriddle · 14/11/2023 11:25

If you hate vaping, then toss this one back.

If it's about lying... I'm not convinced he lied.

housethatbuiltme · 14/11/2023 11:25

Well he is technically right vaping isn't smoking... theres no 'smoke' involved.

It is irritating though, Id rather date a smoker than a vaper TBH but he hasn't 'lied' to you in anyway.

Tighginn · 14/11/2023 11:19

I'm a ex smoker, I occasionally vape a 0%, it is definitely not smoking.

Baffledandalarmed · 14/11/2023 11:08

It’s a month. At this stage you’re not even really together tbh unless you’ve seen each other multiple times so this is a non issue.

BUT I would end it over this; although I think people who vape are wankers. The excess smoke (worse than cigarette smoke) makes it hard for those with breathing conditions (like me) and unlike proper smokers who tend to do it out of people’s way, those that vape do it in the middle of the damn street. So I’d dump him simply for being a vaper rather than the lying.

GalileoHumpkins · 14/11/2023 10:51

You can dump him for any reason you want, you don't need permission. But, it's a vape, don't act like you've just found out he eats babies.