Made dessert but not invited....

Send her the recipe, next time.

This scenario is plain ' Gaslighting'. It has caused you to feel confused.
' Gaslighting is the lowest form of Abuse.
Shame on her.
It's worked = You're CONFUSED!!!!!!!!!

I'd have told her to do one.
So glad I don't have this sort of problem anymore

Threads move on, OPs can't possibly hope to predict every question they're going to get asked.

That's why the 'See all' posts by OP helps.

If OP had put that in the original post, it would have been helpful.

This. Depends on many factors. I've asked my friend to make a birthday cake/dessert for my husband as she's a great baker. He had a party she wasn't invited as they aren't friendly. I paid for the ingredients and bought her flowers and prosecco to thank her for her time.

If it was a family party and you were left out then perhaps unreasonable.

More understandable that you're upset then, but then you shouldn't have made the dessert. This woman takes advantage, and you and your husband are letting her. People treat you how you let them.

If you read the OP's posts you'll see the chance that MIL helps OP is about the same as a snow flurry in hell.

This. Does she help you?

I’ve now read your full updates and find your MIL’s behaviour even more appalling. What a horrible woman. Sounds like a power play to show you that you’ll do as she says. I know it’s hard, but I would not make anything for a woman that won’t speak to me on the phone or come inside my home! I’m sorry you have such a nasty piece of work for a MIL.

Oh my goodness. Now I’ve seen everything. Just when you think you’ve seen or heard every type of rude, bizarre behaviour you see a post like this! This was incredibly rude. She should have been upfront. Ie. “I am having some friends over for dinner and absolutely love your xxx dessert. Would it be too cheeky of me to ask you to make one for me so I can serve it to my guests?”.

Very rude not to be invited, even if she knew you would have to refuse it. I wouldn't dream of asking someone to make a dessert to a dinner I had organised unless they simply love to cook and would want to and I would certainly imburse for the ingredients. No flowers, chocolates as a sign of appreciation? Shame you can't move far away from her!

I don’t think it was she wasn’t able, more she asked as a favour so she didn’t have to and take the pressure off.

If you aren't able to cook all the food for an event you have chosen to host then why would you try roping other people who didn't choose to do this in to being your domestic staff? Supermarkets sell ready made cakes and puddings and whole meals. You just buy the stuff you don't have time to make you don't try and get proxy glory for home cooked food you've manipulated other people in to cooking.

Can't vote on phone but very unreasonable of her and husband. If he wanted his mum to have a pudding he could cook it. Has he not heard of chefs? Decline future " wifework" nonsense. I've only ever made food for meals I'm attending.

This is strange behaviour both my her and your partner. Is it a cultural thing, ie normal where they are from?

That’s bat shit. I’d also love to know who the people are who voted you unreasonable!!

What a rude cow, I wouldn’t be happy either unless she was clear she was asking a favour for a dinner party for her friends and offered to pay for ingredients.

Yes she said MIL asked her husband first which suggests she was also asked? Fairly normal behaviour for family members,

She says I made the dessert and he took it round, not I was forced to make it then he took it round. There is no mention in the original post about short notice etc.

The last 2 comments drip feed all sorts. She is still being ridiculous her complaint was not being invited not short notice, MIL being a bitch so not sure what your point is?

Did you even read the OP’s posts?

• the MIL is not nice or friendly to OP
• OP feels forced into making the cake by her H
• it was short notice

So not sure why you are comparing OP and Mil to the reciprocal baking you do for your family.

Why on earth would you expect to be invited? My mum, sister and me are all good at baking, depending on what is needed we will be asked or ask each other to make things. I would never ask for money for ingredients nor would I expect an invite because I made something although sometimes I am invited.

So she does not like you but wants your desserts. Next time smush a fish head in it.

No foraged mushrooms though - not like that woman in Australia on the news… that would be gratuitous…

I take it this wasn't a family dinner with just you excluded? No biggie then. She asked for help with the catering. She owes you one.

Ask her to make you a dinner for 6, oh and can she pop it round. 😀😀

I suspect she asked your DH if you would make this dessert for a dinner party she was having and he said no problem without really asking you. I've made cake for my MIL in this situation only to find out she'd asked others too.

If she wants things from you, then she needs to ask you herself. Don't accept communication through your DH because you need to be able to know exactly what has been said, and decide whether to say no or not.