Is there a name for this?

I think if I was on the phone regarding a relative's health and obviously shutting down some things that were being said, then when I got off the phone I might not be in the mood for having someone force me to endure "talking in circles" about it aimlessly.

That whole mode of conversation is excruciating and exhausting at the best of times, especially if someone tends to keep circling back for more after the logical conclusion of the exchange as you describe. If you had just heard him shut the waffle down with someone else this was probably a poor moment to start such a post mortem.

Your may be chatty and interesting to some people but to others you will be a chirping bird incessantly wittering away.

Would you describe a talkative male using these words? Just curious.

Op is not his therapist though. Relationships aren't just about listening, they are about communication. One sided listening isn't communicating. She's being told to shut up basically.

Perhaps your listening skills are not as honed as you think.
If DH comes home and someone has been winding him up.
Your response could be - How do you feel about that?
Then you stay quiet.

No more discussion on it but you could think about it a lot. You could write an essay on your own thought process.

You might really enjoy an expressive art form like painting.
Join a painting group and a book club.
You might then not find your DH communication style as restrictive when you have other outlets. He has his own anxieties about expressing feelings etc and everyone is different. He obviously sees no problem.

I would call him out when he is rude, every time...
Please, there is no need to be rude.
Rudeness towards me is unwarranted, excuse me.
Kindness please, remember who you are talking to.
That is enough rudeness.
There is no need to be rude, DH.

He just sounds like a really shit listener. Some people want conversation only on their terms and don’t want to give others space to be listened to.

I hope he’s nice in other ways, OP. Think the name for this behaviour is ‘ill-mannered and domineering.’

You’re not a child or a servant. It’d be rude to say what he did even if you were.

Maybe he was feeling a bit worn-out and I get that not everyone is up for a full post-mortem and analysing every potential outcome and variable under the sun but communication goes both ways. So you‘ve got different conversational styles, doesn’t mean he needs to opt for disrespect. I wonder if he’d like it if you spoke to him like that.

I had a friend like this. We’d go and see a film, for example, and I would ask her what she thought about it and maybe talk about a couple of things. She would just say it was alright and wouldn’t elucidate or be drawn. It drove me nuts so I stopped doing things with her. I can just go to a film on my own if the person I go with doesn’t want to discuss it afterwards. What’s the point otherwise?

I think the word you are looking for is neurodivergent

I have a friend who does this a bit, she constantly just decides what is the right answer and then just runs with it, despite not having heard the whole story, I think she gets stressed out and can't really listen properly.

She also does this thing where she talks over me, 'you have to do x, y and z' - like there's no other answer really really annoying, and when she's not doing that she often just keeps giving the other position, which, when or if you're trying to explain something isn't that helpful. I have flipped out at her recently because I couldn't take any more.

A surprising number of men don't actually like their wives as people. They like the free sex, housekeeping, gestating a child, wifework stuff. But as an actual person? Nope. Hearing that person talk is more than they can bear, because they don't actually like them.

I'd buy a 2nd hand copy from ebay of 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus'.

There's a similar book I read called Why Men Don't Listen And Women Can't Read Maps. Eye opening. But this was about 20 years ago so it's probably outdated and been shut down for stereotyping by now...

I'd buy a 2nd hand copy from ebay of 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus'.

I found it made alot of sense in terms of how men and women think differently. I'm generalising, but men are often fixers and will try to find a solution- even if YOU aren't asking for one. Women like to chat things over. You do, however, sound like an extreme chatter and remind me of a work colleague. She drives us all absolutely nuts with her verbal diarrheoa and I wish I had a mute button.
DH shutting you completely down is rude, but talking incessantly is too!

• I always listen to his day, everyone that might have wound him up, work bollocks etc

He can listen to me for all of 30 seconds and then his attention is elsewhere*

This is the problem - the imbalance.

(I am a talker. My partner is an introvert. I have to recognise that sometimes my talking is just too exhausting for him. But he wouldn't expect to be able to vent with me and not let me reciprocate

It's not unusual lots of men are like this. If you say anything about a problem or situation they seem to think they are being asked for a resolution and will give advice.
Where most women just sympathise and give you tea.
I've had to tell Dh not to fix things for me, I'm not asking for him to fix anything, unless I specifically ask for help. Just having a moan here! Sometimes he remembers other times he doesn't.

I'm on your side, here. He sounds really rude with very poor communication skills and as though it's his way or the highway.