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AIBU?

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Original poster

Not to pay for her lunch? DD is 5

471 replies

prideinmystrides · 13/11/2023 20:25

Okay so DD is in Reception class

A classmate's mum had a cake taken in for her (I have done the same and they all seem to really enjoy it! It's a small village school with only 14 kids)

My DD apparently took an extra slice. As reported to this girls mum by her own daughter, the birthday girl

DD was invited over for birthday tea, cake and play. They were going to a trampoline park on Saturday to celebrate properly

The girls mum has messaged to say

'Hi, it was lovely having L round. She's very sweet. Would you please transfer me £20? We got pizzas in but she said she doesn't eat the ones we had so we got her the one she wanted'

AIBU not to transfer her? I have already spoken to DD and asked if she said she wouldn't eat the pizzas the woman had got? She said she wouldn't, because she put sweetcorn on one, and anchovies on the other one?

I haven't asked the woman if this information is true or not, but DD was very matter of fact and just said she couldn't eat it.

I have already explained to her that she was better off just picking those toppings off as it is quite rude fo ask for a separate pizza. She got a little bit embarrassed, seemed to take this on board and just said 'Okay mummy'

AIBU though not to transfer this? I replied that I hadn't realised I needed to send her with cash, and was about to type something else when she said 'you didn't, but I just didn't expect to buy another pizza'

OP posts:
HamsterBanana · 13/11/2023 20:26

YABU.

cherryscola · 13/11/2023 20:27

My answer depends on how you'd of felt if she'd have come home hungry and having had no lunch at all

Squirrelblanket · 13/11/2023 20:27

The pizza was £20?! Was it topped with gold leaf?!

Original poster
prideinmystrides · 13/11/2023 20:28

HamsterBanana · 13/11/2023 20:26

YABU.

Can I ask why? You can go halves on a pizza so if a 5 year old was being that difficult as I'm getting the feeling my daughter must have been, surely you'd just do that?

I wouldn't pay out for a completely separate pizza in the first place. And certainly wouldn't be charging the parent?

OP posts:
fitforflight · 13/11/2023 20:28

So she wasn't expecting you to send money, but as she wasn't expecting to get another pizza she wants £20? How massive was this extra pizza?!

Whiteday · 13/11/2023 20:28

YANBU

Total Cf by the hosts!

YourNameGoesHere · 13/11/2023 20:28

Squirrelblanket · 13/11/2023 20:27

The pizza was £20?! Was it topped with gold leaf?!

This! Fuck me even a large from dominos isn't £20 bloody quid. She's having you right on!!!

Gardeningtime · 13/11/2023 20:28

Personally I’d pay, your child asked for another pizza. Bit much to expect the mum to pay. I’d be mortified refusing.

Floralnomad · 13/11/2023 20:29

I’d just pay and put it down to experience . I’m not sure what the extra slice of cake has to do with anything . If I was the other mum I’d be really embarrassed about asking you to pay but people are very strange .

Radiat · 13/11/2023 20:29

YANBU, pizza for one 5yo doesn’t cost £20.

Welshexplorer36 · 13/11/2023 20:29

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable? Did a child’s pizza really cost £20 though? If I was taking a child with me and buying lunch, I’d expect them to choose something they liked to eat and I would pay for it. I think it’s really awkward though. As much as that’s how I feel I’m not sure I could confront someone! But that’s just me xx

LittleMousewithcloggson · 13/11/2023 20:29

I would pay it and apologise if my DD came across as rude
At 5 she probably wouldn’t have meant to but saying she wouldn’t eat the pizza provided - to the extent that her friends parents felt they had to order one just for her - was rude
i would query the price though - that’s a lot for one kids pizza

Hermittrismegistus · 13/11/2023 20:29

£20 for a pizza?!

NImumconfused · 13/11/2023 20:30

Why would anyone put anchovies on a pizza they're offering to children they don't know - surely you'd include something safe like a margarita?

Jessforless · 13/11/2023 20:31
  1. £20 is very expensive for a pizza.
  2. Anchovies is an odd choice for a 5 year old, I think parties at that age are very Margarita pizza or chicken nuggets with some crudités.
  3. As a parent who has been through years of kids parties, the parent should have adapted, taken the toppings off etc. but obviously didn’t.

However, I would transfer the money and just apologise and swallow it. Your DD is 5, you say there are only 14 kids in the class. Do you want to alienate a parent and a child? I think £20 is worth it for civility personally.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 13/11/2023 20:31

I’d pay it for the peace and the fact you have 6 more years in the same school- but fuck me £20 for a kids meal?! I would never ask someone to pay

modgepodge · 13/11/2023 20:31

£20 is fairly standard for a delivery pizza rather than a supermarket one, albeit a large one. Sweetcorn and anchovies are an odd choice for pizzas for a 5 year old I have to say. If I was the parent in this situation I’d have ordered plainer toppings to try to keep all the kids happy. I wouldn’t have spent an extra £20 on a separate pizza but if I had I wouldn’t then ask the parent for the money.

Original poster
prideinmystrides · 13/11/2023 20:31

Well a Papa John's small cheese and tomato (the cheapest one) is over £16 so surely to charge £20 is cheeky?

OP posts:
Ninastibbefan · 13/11/2023 20:31

I’d just suck it up to be honest. I think she’s being cheeky but I’m not sure it’s worth falling out over especially if you’ll be seeing her around a lot.

Jellycats4life · 13/11/2023 20:31

A mum ordered anchovy pizza for a bunch of five year olds?

Pull the other one.

Brilliantlydone · 13/11/2023 20:31

Surely you'd just make the child some toast or something.

I would probably pay for a simple life but I'd not be interested in any sort of play dates or social engagements in the future.

BarneyAteMyHomework · 13/11/2023 20:32

They were BU to only have pizza with sweetcorn or anchovies - surely you’d have something plainer if you didn’t know what guests would eat? Or ask in advance whether the food would be ok.

I wouldn’t even think about asking for money to feed a 5 year old, if I invite them it’s on me to give them something they’ll eat.

carddino · 13/11/2023 20:32

Very strange.

What's the cake got to do with it?

No I wouldn't pay.

What silly toppings for kids.

Reverse?

scrivette · 13/11/2023 20:32

I wok not be impressed with this.

DC has been to two parties recently and didn't like the pizza, one Mum kindly made a sandwich and the other gave him picky bits.

Seems very odd, I would probably pay but not let her go again.

Dotcheck · 13/11/2023 20:32

Has your daughter had anchovies before?
I would have expected the hosts to ask what kind of pizza she liked. Anchovies seems an odd choice for 5 year olds- I wouldn’t expect most to have had it