Why are you awful?

Ive just thought of another thing😂. I get really annoyed at people who constantly want to talk about break ups, difficult stuff in their lives. Fine talk about it when it happens but stop banging on about it.

Why do some people need so much emotional support just grow a pair and get on with it.

There are exceptions to this and fully aware I am being a bit unreasonable.

I'm highly egotistical and the poster girl for 'Main Character Syndrome'.

oh this too. I don’t know that I’m egotistical as such but I’m very much the main character in my head. It’s a side effect of being anti social I suppose. There are very few other people to think about, only my parents really.

I’m also completely useless in a crisis <hangs head>

I've had people surround my table in bars because they fancied the look of our seats. This has happened on a couple of occasions, with these larger groups surrounding me and DH when just the two of us were there.

DH and I resolutely sat there refusing to take their broad hints, chatting and laughing and then coming to the consensus 'oooh, we're having a good time in here. Shall we stay and have another drink?' Their facial expressions at that point were priceless; wish in retrospect that I'd sat there and drawn them!

In a similar situation a bunch of rowdy loudmouths, evidently just recently disgorged from York racecourse onto the Leeds train one Friday night, tried the same trick when they wanted my table seat. I merely sat there, earphones blaring Rammstein to drown out their racket, tapping interestedly into my laptop. I did have to ask one of them to be so good as to stop treading on my feet. But move, I did not.

People like this are not very bright if they haven't realised that this is not the way to get other people's cooperation. Hope your impatient driver didn't burst too many blood vessels in the end!

Because I am refusing to move for the gobby woman who is currently beeping and swearing at me in the car park cos she sees I'm leaving and she wants my space.

At first, I jumped out and said to her that I would be a minute cos I'm waiting for my windscreen to clear. When she started beeping, I thought "oh, dear, this might take a bit longer to clear than I originally thought."

She is still there waiting. I'm not in a rush.

I think I've become a raging snob. Or at least I am more aware of it. And there is no reason for me to think myself better than anyone else, and yet clearly I do. And I get super judgemental about parents / people who seem to just spend so much money on trends, or keeping up with the joneses or their kids having designer clothes and shoes, or having the latest SUV and going for a couple of weeks AI in Turkey every year, or spending a shed load of money on 'experiences and making memories', especially around Christmas time, when I assume (maybe wrongly) that it's highly unlikely that they can really afford it. Perhaps that's more a criticism of British society though, and how everyone (no matter their income or situation) feels entitled to do and have everything that anyone else has.

It feels good to get that off my chest!

You're too awful for a why are you awful thread.
That's so funny.

Haha yes maybe 😂 Just being honest since that’s what the thread is all about it, after all. It’s not like I’m not acknowledging it 😁

I’m not really interested in other people and I often can’t be bothered to pretend I am.
I am impatient and don’t suffer fools gladly.

I’m a big hit at party’s me 😂

I'm smug about the fact that I've been young and old, fat and thin, but I've always had a cracking rack.

Maybe it's the arrogance not the youngness and thinness? Just a thought.

I don't click with the school mums because parts of the school were built in the 1980s and still hasn't been surveyed for crumbling RAAC concrete and they seem to believe that the government "wouldn't be allowed" to let our children go to school every day in buildings at risk of collapse.

Even though the government has been doing precisely that for years hoping to pass the problem on to the next lot.

More than half the schools at most risk of collapse haven't even been surveyed yet.

The 8 surveyors the government put on the task expect to finish in about 15 months if no more schools are discovered to have been built during the 70s, 80s, and 90s,

It drives me crackers.

Oh wow. I love this thread.

I struggle to “click” with any of the school mums. They just don’t seem to like me. I think it’s because I’m younger and thinner than all of them which I know is very arrogant and insufferable.

I buy far too many clothes.

I am not present enough as a parent.

I am terrible at enjoying a moment and feeling appreciative. I’m always convinced something is about to go wrong.

I cannot stand moaning, I have zero sympathy for anyone who moans about something but does nothing to improve the issue. I switch off totally and think it's all their own fault

@Beryls I find apologies hard because I associate admitting wrong with punishment, shaming or ridicule. I'm working on overcoming this though. It's like if I admit to myself I've messed up I suddenly flash back to fear and shame so intense I feel utterly worthless and terrified . The dialectical behaviour and trauma therapy I'm having are helping me see that I'm not all evil just because I made a mistake.

@itsallshite me too. Don't intend to but I do end up taking the hardest way out. I make a huge mess out of things!

I'm a drama queen. A bit of a victim sometimes. I look for problems and don't make it easy for myself.

I constantly interrupt people when they're talking, I really do make an effort to not do it, but then I don't listen. I'm just waiting for them to stop talking so that I can talk.

I love gossip, but pretend I don't. I listen avidly then act nonchalant about what I've just heard, but I'm absolutely desperate to go and tell someone else.

I love bitching but make sure I always say something really reasonable towards the end so I don't come off as the bad person.

Just silly things that I try to be more aware of, but I accept my flaws.

OP I used to try and wriggle myself out of trouble when I'd made a mistake also so I didn't have to say sorry. Then I decided to give it a go, people tend to be so nice when you apologise and admit you messed up - I actually quite like doing it now haha.

Haha I struggle to believe there's more than one of us 🤣

@RecoveringBorderline You're trying to improve, that's what counts. There are so many people content to carry on living in a way that's destructive to others etc. All we can do is try our best to improve.

I had a 'best friend' with borderline and she made a play for my boyfriend because that's how she used to get her ego boost. She tried to sabotage my relationship in all sorts of ways, too, because she wanted me single so we could go out on the town all the time etc.

As long as we're trying our best not to be that person- that's what's important.

And of course, bonus points for taking care of our health and wellbeing, too.

This is probably not the best place to admit this, but...

I can feel quite superior for being child free and don't understand why people want children. When I see, usually mums, with out of control kids or a whole pack of them, I feel quite smug in my quiet, footloose and fancy free life.

I love my animals more than 99.9% of people.

I can be quite fake, especially at work. I have no interest in most of my colleagues but act like I'm super interested in their kids, holidays, weekends etc.

I also do minimal work but want maximum praise and salary.

As soon as I know someone's a cat person I will hold them in higher regard than everyone else.

I don't forgive or forget. And I'm so mad that an ex bf died before I got my revenge.

I judge people who can't dance. I also judge fat people even though I'm not exactly skinny myself.

I judge people who write draws instead of drawers, brought rather than bought and farther in place of father.

Fuck me, I'm awful ☠️

Sounds like you're doing well!

I have pyscho-dynamic therapy and it worked so well for me.

I definitely have fall-backs. Many of them. But I cope with them so much better.

Haha yeah!Or be like BFFs one second and at each others' throats the next!

It's an awful, awful disorder. But there is so much help out there.

Thanks so much. It helps to know I'm not alone though I wouldn't wish this on anyone.

Interestingly when I was younger I would feel lonely a lot and hated my own company, feeling the need to find someone who I would cling on to (alternating with distancing myself or sabotaging the relationship). I still feel insecure but I don't feel a need to be around people it fixate on one special favourite person anymore. But it has made me possibly too cold around others. I'm trying to find the balance here.

Hi there @Celticliving , I have some BPD traits. For me Covid helped me learn to like my own company. DBT did nothing for me really, but I highly recommend EMDR to address the trauma at the root of the issues. It has a knock on effect of improving so many things.

I was in the PDSA with my cat and honestly better inspiration to clean up one's lifestyle etc can probably not be found anywhere. I was sat opposite a family who were all 'fatspo.' Also, everyone there is slobbily dressed and well rough looking. I like to think I'm not that rough looking lol. But best to see it as inspiration to clean up one's act physically, rather than judging as such.