Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be a bit peeved?

37 replies

Grapefruitstars · 12/11/2023 15:42

I don't know if I'm being unreasonable. My friend is unwell so we've been having her child a lot which isn't an issue. He's friendly with my child although they go to different schools. His birthday is a month before my child's. On his birthday mum told me they weren't doing anything. Today the Child told me he had a big party with loads of mates and my child wasn't invited

He came to my child's birthday party. Aibu to feel peeved we've been looking after him but they didn't think we were close enough to have him at his party ?

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
NewbieSM · 14/11/2023 23:33

Oh that's unfortunate that she needs help again as you have suddenly found yourself unable to offer free childcare anymore...she's a cheeky fucker. Say no you can't help anymore, she can sort her own problems out

AcrossthePond55 · 14/11/2023 23:28

Grapefruitstars · 14/11/2023 18:28

She's asked me for help again.

Honestly, I'd tell her "I understand from 'Johnny' that he had a birthday party and our 'Bobby' wasn't invited. TBH we found this a little painful as we've been helping you out with childcare quite a bit and Johnny was invited to Bobby's party".

See what she says. If you aren't happy with it, then stop or reduce the childcare. You're nice to help her out, but no point in doing it if it's going to cause you resentment.

billy1966 · 14/11/2023 22:47

If you believe the party did happen, then I think it was very poor your son wasn't invited.

It would be a hard swerve to being her free childcare going forward.

Original poster
Grapefruitstars · 14/11/2023 18:34

Having empathy is hard😅

OP posts:
MaliciaKeys · 14/11/2023 18:31

Tell her you’re busy. Let her find some other mug to provide free childcare

Original poster
Grapefruitstars · 14/11/2023 18:28

She's asked me for help again.

OP posts:
TempName247 · 13/11/2023 09:32

Grapefruitstars · 13/11/2023 09:10

Erm my son is a boy ?

Oh sorry

Original poster
Grapefruitstars · 13/11/2023 09:31

I cant imagine the child lying. I did think it was strange when she said they weren't doing anything. It is what it is I suppose.

OP posts:
billy1966 · 13/11/2023 09:27

You sound very nice.

Can you check it out?
If she lied, there was no need to.

I would be thinking she probably is using you too.

It's up to you if you want to continue being free childcare for her.

10HailMarys · 13/11/2023 09:23

Was the child actually telling the truth? Because if he didn’t have a birthday party at all, a big party with all his friends is certainly something I can imagine a six-year-old making up.

Original poster
Grapefruitstars · 13/11/2023 09:10

Erm my son is a boy ?

OP posts:
TempName247 · 13/11/2023 08:18

And to also add, I had friends from NCT who I am very close to and we did many things together with the children however when my DD started school, the parties were whole class parties and there was no room for extras, that’s just what we all did and no one was put out. Just because the parents are close and the children get along doesn’t mean they are particularly fussed about each other.

TempName247 · 13/11/2023 08:15

He may have just had boys there, I wouldn’t read too much into it

SparkyBlue · 13/11/2023 07:50

She is using you for childcare. Please be unavailable the next time she asks. YANBU to be annoyed

LylaLee · 13/11/2023 07:41

You got played. Stop helping. She'll move on to the next mark.

Original poster
Grapefruitstars · 13/11/2023 07:38

Yes her child was invited to my sons party.

OP posts:
wesurecouldstandgladioli · 12/11/2023 23:27

Grapefruitstars · 12/11/2023 22:14

Tbf the party was 2 months ago lol.

Did you invite her son to your son’s birthday a month later?

SandyWaves · 12/11/2023 23:26

So rude. I would cut ties altogether.

I have a mum 'friend' like this. Been round to my house a few times, looked after the kid so she can work, spent a lot but my kid has never been invited to her house.

So I will not invite back now.

Original poster
Grapefruitstars · 12/11/2023 22:14

Tbf the party was 2 months ago lol.

OP posts:
LakeTiticaca · 12/11/2023 22:08

That would be the last time I would be helping the bitch out. Let her find someone else to look after her kid

Lindy2 · 12/11/2023 21:55

Well enough to organise a big party but not well enough to look after her own child.....

I think I'd ask "how did the party go?" and say that the child said they'd just had a big party. I'd then be busy the next time she wants you to be her free childcare.

Yes, they can invite whoever they want to a party but when you've provided a lot of assistance and your children are friends, you should have been on the guest list.

Swimeveryday · 12/11/2023 21:48

I’d be direct and tell her how it made you feel.

Zanatdy · 12/11/2023 21:48

I think that’s pretty horrible. I wouldn’t dream of not inviting the child of someone helping me out so much. Just rude

Tohaveandtohold · 12/11/2023 21:47

She lied because she knew what she did was not on at all. Even if the child chose the friends, the mum should have added your son seeing as she’s been using you for childcare.
I’ll do what the other poster above said, casually bring it up and just say that you hope he had a good time and get out of the childcare commitment. If she feels you’re not close enough to invite your son to the party then surely you can’t be close enough to look after the child.

MonsteraMama · 12/11/2023 21:47

It's the lying that'd fuck me off more than anything else. I can't be arsed with liars.

I'd tell her to organise alternative childcare because you can't accommodate her anymore. She's pissing on you without even doing you the courtesy of calling it rain.

Swipe left for the next trending thread