Hubby wanted lap dance but never got one

The fact that he has even shared this with you proves he has no intention of doing it again.

Just before he wants to go to Thailand? Naive doesn't cover this.

The fact that he has even shared this with you proves he has no intention of doing it again. It's embarrassing. He didn't have to tell you but he was honest with you. What more can you ask for. It was before he committed himself to you as your husband. I agree with the others with regards to ensuring it's a boundary you have. I personally have never agreed with stag do's persay and it's a boundary for my marriage to never enter such places. If you feel this way, express it and continue to love one another.

Potentially give him a lap dance yourself. Our husbands can only be with us. Within reason, if there is something we know our husband likes or is interested in, there is no harm in connecting with our husband in such a way. Have fun with one another.

If he chooses to go to Thailand, use the time to pack his stuff and dump it on the lawn or at his mother's. Change the locks and divorce the lying, cheating pos

Go and speak to one of the guys and say "dh has told me the truth about his stag doo 10 years ago that he really did have a lap dance. He won't tell me anything more but I reckon he had sex with a prostitute as well, tell me the truth!"

At that point, he friend will probably say "oh no he didn't sleep with anyone, it was just a lapdance!"

They will admit to the lesser offence.

So be a bit tricksy but if I were you, that is what I would do.

Obviously dont tell your dh you're going to talk to anyone

Why would he take condoms, does he think strippers are prostitutes?

He's telling you just as much as he thinks you can prove. And no more. Which means you can't trust a word he says.

BTW in Thailand women are falling over themselves to offer paid sex. My BF joined me and I was unwell for a bit he found it really hard because every bar, every place someone was offering sex. He ended up finding a very weird bar with magic shows where he could have a drink in peace.

Yours doesn't seem the type to avoid happy endings.

Sorry, but this is absolute rubbish. There are strict rules in strip clubs which prohibit you from touching dancers. There isn't even such a thing as a lap dance anymore, you just get a private dance in a small room - the dancer is nowhere near you, there is no touching/rubbing/kissing or anything crazy like that. Either your husband is winding you up, his friends were winding him up or they weren't at a strip club. Because if they were, nobody would have any use for condoms unless they were blowing balloons.

Will you play the violin for free for me please? I have great musical appreciation, but have forgotten my purse

🎻 this is the world’s tiniest violin playing for the guy who didn’t get a lap dance on his stag night and still regrets it.

I sure hope he’s not as shallow and stupid as this makes him sound, OP. Unless he has some amazing qualities I’d be rethinking this relationship.

And it's so cheap to buy trafficked women there he won't need a lot.

Particularly as her husband is likely to have learned his lesson and is unlikely to run out of money on this one…

An ill advised visit to a strip club 10 years ago is probably not worth losing too much sleep over, but a ‘lads trip’ (guess they are in their 40’s now, not really lads anymore) to Thailand 10 years later is pushing boundaries. How do the other wives feel about this?

Ugh he turns my stomach.

Didn't think it was possible to make going to a strip club any more sleazy and nasty but begging a free dance is so, so grim.

Honestly OP, have some bloody standards (that goes for a fair few of the replies on here too). It's depressing that on a predominantly female oriented site there are so many boyz will be boyz eh, what are they like after a beer hahah, buying women's bodies like a commodity LOLZ comments.

Lately they have been talking about arranging a lads trip to Thailand

Let me guess, they REALLY like temples.

You'd have to be insane to be OK with this.

I'd say, if he is a good partner and you are happy, yabu. If you're not, then yanbu.
The issue for me would be the Thailand trip.

What would happen if your DH cheekily asked a woman in a coffee shop for a free extra shot of espresso? This isn't really about taking advantage of women or asking women to do things for free. This is about not seeing strippers as your equal as people.

Lately they have been talking about arranging a lads trip to Thailand

Yeah, I don't think they're going for the culture and sightseeing, are they?

YANBU to be upset. Some women would be upset, some wouldn't be. There's no right or wrong reaction; you feel how you feel.

However, I think if you have a husband who is into pissed-up stag dos in Ibiza with the lads, you probably should have guessed before now that he might be someone who would go to strip club. I wouldn't be happy if my DP announced that he'd tried to get a free dance from a stripper, but I probably also wouldn't be with him if he was the type who goes on that kind of lads' holiday. (Nothing wrong with going on those kinds of lads' trips, but I personally just find it all a massive turn-off - same with holidays for big groups of women!)

Don't split up with him, don't agree to him going to Thailand either IMO. What do you think men go there for? I lived in East Asia, I've seen it all.

It's the request for a free dance that's really given me "the ick". Sad, pissed, broke guy in seedy clip joint, genuinely thinks this woman might shake her vag in his face for free? Like she is really enjoying this or thinks he's sooo attractive that she actually fancies him? So utterly deluded.

Let it go op.

Get his card and go treat yourself!