Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Partner told me I couldn’t order de

58 replies

Wonkydonkey2 · 11/11/2023 20:49

Went out for dinner with a group of friends I see all together once or twice a year. This time we did dinner and invited our partners. The partners don’t all have much in common but they can manage to find common ground for an evening. All day I had mentioned pudding at this pub and when we arrived I said how I wasn’t sure on a starter as I wanted pudding. No one wanted pudding but someone wanted another drink. My partner said you don’t want pudding but I still asked for the menu. As the menu was handed to me he said get the menu and say no to pudding. He said we would get pudding at some dessert place. I mentioned this to the table saying husband wants to get pudding from this place you are all more than welcome to come. He then went for a wee and asked for the bill. As we left I said I didn’t like being told that I shouldn’t order dessert. He then said in the car he was so glad to leave the boys as they had nothing in common. That everyone else was ready to go home and just me ordering dessert would have been weird. I said that my friends were happy still talking and someone wanted another drink. I said he seemed rude by not wanting to be there and as it was 1 dinner he could suck it but that I wouldn’t bring him next time. He thinks no one noticed and that they where all wanting to leave. He kept suggesting we could go get pudding from this place but it’s completely different types or dessert.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
SiousieSoo · 12/11/2023 11:10

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Whatever you say... Perhaps you should inform the thousands of restaurants in the UK that print their menus in sequential fashion, always listing the dessert at the end of the meal, that they are in a cage, prejudiced and narrow minded... Who knew? 😂😂

YouCanExfilNow · 12/11/2023 10:50

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

SiousieSoo · 12/11/2023 09:07

TimeForTeaAndG · 12/11/2023 00:38

Yes. All of this!

Totally agree. Every time I think I have heard something so bizarre on mumsnet sure enough something else comes along to top it. Dessert as a starter is on the list of crazy crazy! Not least becuase the OP would not have known at the start of dinner that she would be denied said dessert at the end, let alone the very notion of having your sweet before your main.... Ridiculous.

THisbackwithavengeance · 12/11/2023 08:34

He was rude.

And I would think very little of my DH if he couldn't have a chat and be sociable with people even if he thought they had nothing in common.

booksandbrooks · 12/11/2023 08:29

I would t begrudge my friend ordering a dessert, especially if I wanted another drink.
I'd probably only not have one to dodge the calories but more than happy to keep the evening going.

TheBeesKnee · 12/11/2023 03:15

This is why we don't invite men out. What an absolute spoilsport.

Also reading some of the responses on this thread makes me wonder who the hell people are dining out with?! I go out for dinner with people I like and no one is desperate to leave as soon as the meal is done. Yes some people leave if they have work or plans early the next day. More often than not we'll move on to a pub for drinks!

Absolute misers.

Aprilx · 12/11/2023 02:39

I think you sound extremely childish to want a dessert that badly! Your husband seems to be better at social cues than you are, if nobody else wants a dessert then you need to skip it yourself so they don’t have to all sit there and watch you eat it. And you didn’t even order it so add another five or ten minutes whilst you peruse a menu that you don’t even need.

Gymnopedie · 12/11/2023 02:32

I'm on the fence as if NO ONE else is getting dessert, it means they all wanna go.

Or it means they're full.

2jacqi · 12/11/2023 02:30

he sounds really ignorant!! he could have sucked it up for one night, surely!

chappoi · 12/11/2023 02:29

@ReadingSoManyThreads meals out are about friends and conversation so don't take partner and expect him to be friendly with strangers for ages for you. Just go out with you girl friends chat all night get pudding whatever you like. What was the point of taking partners ?

GrumpNoDog · 12/11/2023 01:21

I'm on the fence as if NO ONE else is getting dessert, it means they all wanna go. So it's possible you missed some social queues there. I also don't really understand the obsession with this one dessert. On the other hand, your partner seems like he totally overreacted and was a bit of an arse. It's hard to say without being there really.

OfficerChurlish · 12/11/2023 01:07

I think the thing to do in this kind of case is completely ignore him and go ahead and order dessert. The other diners can then make an excuse to go and leave you and the person who ordered the drink behind, but I bet they won't. As you know this group and regularly go out with them and your husband doesn't know them (and apparently doesn't like him), I'd trust your reading of the situation (people still chatting/happy to stay for a bit) over his.

YouCanExfilNow · 12/11/2023 00:56

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

TimeForTeaAndG · 12/11/2023 00:38

ReadingSoManyThreads · 12/11/2023 00:06

Dessert as a starter? Wise up.

As for "holding up everyone else", well, they can fuck off and leave us dessert lovers to eat it in peace then, if they're so bloody fussed on leaving when THEY'RE finished and not giving a shit about the other diners in their party.

I always thought dining out with friends was about the conversation, didn't realise it was rude to dare order dessert when others aren't partaking. Next time I'll know to get up and leave as soon as mains are finished 🙄

Yes. All of this!

Saffrom · 12/11/2023 00:32

Ugh, my partner is a bit like this, he thinks the main aim of being ‘out’ is to get back home asap.

Your partner was extremely rude and bossy asking for the bill when you’d said you were going to order dessert. My partner would not have dared do that!!

ReadingSoManyThreads · 12/11/2023 00:06

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Dessert as a starter? Wise up.

As for "holding up everyone else", well, they can fuck off and leave us dessert lovers to eat it in peace then, if they're so bloody fussed on leaving when THEY'RE finished and not giving a shit about the other diners in their party.

I always thought dining out with friends was about the conversation, didn't realise it was rude to dare order dessert when others aren't partaking. Next time I'll know to get up and leave as soon as mains are finished 🙄

Icopewhenihope · 12/11/2023 00:05

I cannot imagine being that desperate for a desert that I would sit there and delay everyone whilst I ate it.

steff13 · 11/11/2023 23:56

Ponoka7 · 11/11/2023 21:02

Stop letting him take over and stand your ground next time.

Yeah, this. You could have used your words to just ask the server for the dessert regardless of what he was saying.

YouCanExfilNow · 11/11/2023 23:53

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

ReadingSoManyThreads · 11/11/2023 23:51

Buffypaws · 11/11/2023 23:48

Go back tomorrow by yourself and have pudding

I second this.

Enjoy every last bite.

SiousieSoo · 11/11/2023 23:50

Wonkydonkey2 · 11/11/2023 23:45

It’s honey comb in a chocolate ball with some chocolate mouse and caramel sauce also has some other fancy bits on the side it’s so good I dream about it often and love this pub for that reason

Wow that really does sound delicious and not your run of the mill type dessert, so I can definitely see why that put a dampner on your evening. I personally think he could have held on, you could have ordered your dessert and asked for the bill at the same time. It would not have entailed a much longer wait at the table really by the time the bill was sorted etc.

Timeforsnacks · 11/11/2023 23:48

That does sound good!
Your partner sounds too controlling for my liking to be honest. I'd be surprised if this was the last time he decided to cut your evening short..

Buffypaws · 11/11/2023 23:48

Go back tomorrow by yourself and have pudding

Wonkydonkey2 · 11/11/2023 23:45

It’s honey comb in a chocolate ball with some chocolate mouse and caramel sauce also has some other fancy bits on the side it’s so good I dream about it often and love this pub for that reason

OP posts:
SiousieSoo · 11/11/2023 23:23

SocksAndTheCity · 11/11/2023 23:07

I came back to find out what the pudding was Smile

Are you going to tell us?

I just read this thread and I want to know this too.. Can't believe nobody has thus far asked the OP! @Wonkydonkey2 please tell us the dessert!