Lady Cocklodger

hulahoopqueen · 2023-11-07T21:15:52+00:00

SOS, Mumsnet. AIBU to ask you to help me out here - having a conversation with my husband about insults. I explained the concept of a cocklodger to him, he thought the word was hilarious (we are in agreement that the concept is gross). This led to a discussion about what the female version would be called. Is there one? If so, what is it called? If not, what would you call it?

FarmGirl78 · 08/11/2023 11:58

I'd say just a feeeloader.

LessonsInPhysics · 08/11/2023 11:57

I thought the New Year honours list had been released early.
Fairly sure Lady Cocklodger is a friend of the ex-PM.

CSB10 · 08/11/2023 11:56

MingeSitter

Bananalanacake · 08/11/2023 11:55

Thanks for the reassurance, we live in Germany where kindergarten is very cheap, ours was 150 euro a month, I read on here about some nurseries costing over 1000 pounds a month. I'm lucky in that DH is a very hands on dad, does lots of house and DC admin, he also pays for a cleaner to come in twice a week. I have a side hustle (selling at car boot sales) to bring in extra cash. I have full access to money and he doesn't care what I spend.
So I understand being a SAHM is not sponging off a man.
If anyone recognises my name I am often on the relationship board telling people there's no need to live together so quickly, that way it's easier to weed out the cocklodgers.

LavenderfortheBees · 08/11/2023 08:07

Yes a SAHM who actually cares for the children and manages the household isn't what this thread is about as she is actively contributing. Neither is a trophy wife to an older, rich man as that is both sides benefitting from an arrangement.

The female equivalent of a cocklodger would move in with/marry a man then stop contributing. She might quit/lose her job or reduce hours (without good reason like illness) while still expecting him to do most of the housework. She would expect him to pay for her while keeping any money she has for herself. She would neglect any children in the household. She might be an addict, wanting to go out drinking all the time, obsessed with her phone/gaming etc. or just very lazy.

These people (male and female) are not the majority but they do exist as do the mugs they leech off. I was such a mug once to an exbf.

PositanoBay · 08/11/2023 07:49

Bingsbongs · 07/11/2023 23:36

This thread is so juvenile, like a bunch of schoolkids trying to think hard what cool swearwords they can come up with.

Fnarrr!

HJ40 · 08/11/2023 07:26

Gusset guest

HereLies · 08/11/2023 06:30

Bananalanacake · 08/11/2023 06:13

I often worry I'm one of these, when I met dh I loved my civil service job, after 5 years together I got pregnant and moved to his country, I'm now a SAHM to 2 DDs while dh is a high earner, though I've also learnt on here I'm helping him earn by looking after the DC, so maybe it's not so bad.

That's not the same. It was a 5 years relationship before you got pregnant and now you are a family bringing up his 2 kids. I wouldn't say you are helping him earn, I would say you are saving your family childcare costs and sacrificing a career for your family. A SAHM is not a cocklodger or whatever the female version is now decided as.

Bananalanacake · 08/11/2023 06:13

I often worry I'm one of these, when I met dh I loved my civil service job, after 5 years together I got pregnant and moved to his country, I'm now a SAHM to 2 DDs while dh is a high earner, though I've also learnt on here I'm helping him earn by looking after the DC, so maybe it's not so bad.

Alatron · 08/11/2023 02:44

If you're channelling that Romanian rapist, maybe.

Geppili · 08/11/2023 02:42

Hilarious thread!

Alatron · 08/11/2023 02:41

Wow.

The entire world is patriarchal. Do we really need a thread on a parenting site devoted to listing derogatory words for women?

CormoranEllacott · 08/11/2023 02:39

Idtotallybangdreamoftheendlessnotgonnalie · 07/11/2023 21:17

In US military they're known as dependapotamus

While funny, I’ve never met a military wife that isn’t pretty much managing all the drudgery, often in temporary housing, while the husband follows his calling.

echt · 08/11/2023 02:37

Muffbludger

CheekyHobson · 08/11/2023 02:36

Mingeclinger

Saggypants · 08/11/2023 02:29

My mother would say 'home maker'.

echt · 08/11/2023 02:29

Quim pro quo

Though I think it misses the essentially exploitative nature of such relationships. I'll work on it.

coxesorangepippin · 08/11/2023 02:24

Rent from furry purse

😂😂😂

My lord

DC1888 · 08/11/2023 02:22

OneRingToRuleThemAll · 07/11/2023 21:16

Fannyparker

😆Close thread.

BiggletonUnited · 08/11/2023 01:11

Cocklodger
and
Fannysquatter

wellOkayIsh · 08/11/2023 00:15

notahappybunny7 · 08/11/2023 00:07

I used to know a girl who literally moved in within a week with every guy she met. There home too, not hers . She had about 3 different boyfriends within 6 months. My mum, who was not the most pleasant of women, called her a cuckoo.
very sad really, her mum had a boyfriend in her own home, not his, who didn’t want her young adult children staying so this was how she lived.

Cockoo

Winterscoming1 · 08/11/2023 00:13

Paying your rent from the furry purse!

notahappybunny7 · 08/11/2023 00:07

I used to know a girl who literally moved in within a week with every guy she met. There home too, not hers . She had about 3 different boyfriends within 6 months. My mum, who was not the most pleasant of women, called her a cuckoo.
very sad really, her mum had a boyfriend in her own home, not his, who didn’t want her young adult children staying so this was how she lived.

Terfosaurus · 08/11/2023 00:07

TittyTenant

bossybloss · 08/11/2023 00:05

Bingsbongs · 07/11/2023 23:36

This thread is so juvenile, like a bunch of schoolkids trying to think hard what cool swearwords they can come up with.

Yeah … it’s great !😂