To not get a puppy?

To get a dog you both need to be onboard with the decision. They are a lot of work training-wise in the early days, and a big lifestyle change. I am also a big believer that a dog is a lifelong commitment, so if it doesn’t work out or you decide that you can’t take it anymore then for me I look at that as very much a you problem -rather than rehoming as a solution.

however just to caveat that for some people dogs are a non-negotiable. For me my lifestyle revolves around my animals- training, holidays etc (yes mumsnet I am one of those people) I have ended relationships in the past because the other person hasn’t wanted pets. For me it is a dealbreaker. So whilst you absolutely shouldn’t get a pet that you aren’t both on board with, you should be aware that for some people dogs do come first.

It's like kids:

Unless you both really want one, don't do it.

With have people wfh and we find it difficult with a puppy.

🐈?

I lost my 14 year old dog late last year and I still miss him every day. That said, no way am I getting another dog!

They are a lot of commitment. My dog was a really good puppy and not destructive, he even had some of his puppy plushies still when he died. He didn't chew on anything he wasn't allowed to, either.

We had our routine - I would get up early and we would go for a walk/run prior to me getting ready for work. I feel it's disingenuous for people to say it's cruel to leave a dog at home while you go to work - my boy was just fine, hanging out with my cats for company. I probably wouldn't leave a dog entirely on its own, but he was was great with the cats and there was 'mutual adoration'. I took him to puppy day care when he was old enough and he spent the whole day shivering and drooling in the corner, until the day care owner was forced to cuddle him all day, away from the other dogs. We tried several times, but he hated it and was much happier at home with his kitty mates. I also gave a key to my next door neighbour (who worked from home) in case he ever started barking or crying. He never did.

After work, I'd take him to a park for a run and a sniff. Maybe half an hour, or more in summer. We'd also do clicker training during part of that time.

As he got older, he slept almost as much as the cats. Which, if you know cats, is most of the day. I used to use puzzle toys and pack them with treats and leave them for him when I went to work. I read as much as I could on puppy and dog behaviour, including how to come and go from my home in a way that wouldn't encourage separation anxiety. That seemed to work well.

However, I found myself saying no to a lot of social outings because I wanted to give time to him. I didn't begrudge this at all - he was my little mate and I loved him to death. It was also really difficult to go away, even for a night. I would never leave him overnight - a few hours is fine, but not the whole night. I was lucky enough to be able to take him with me to stay at friends places a lot of the time, so it wasn't always hard. But, yes, they do curtail your freedom a bit.

And then there's the general cleaning (house and them), grooming if it's a breed that needs it regularly (mine did), and the loads of time you need to put into training them throughout their life.

All in all, they're a huge commitment, but they give back tenfold. I'm grateful that I grew up with cats and dogs as pets, but I got the shock of my life when I got my own dog because I had NO idea how much work they are! I remember asking my Mum (who was the one who cared for our family dogs) if my boy was 'normal' and she laughed and said "yes, having a puppy is like having a child". I had no idea - as a cat owner, I'd expected dogs to look after themselves in a similar way - nope, dogs are COMPLETELY dependent on their owners.

As I said at the beginning of this rather long post, I still miss my darling boy every single day. I even still shed the occasional tear, even after him being gone 14 months. He was a good and loyal friend. But no way am I getting another dog at this point in my life - I went and got another two kittens instead! 😁

As he works shifts you’ll end up doing most of the work, and he knows it.

Just google smegma, that should put him off.

@Beigelions8 He's always had dogs, have these been family dogs or his own dog where he has always been responsible for training, exercise and caring for those dogs? Has he been responsible for the financial costs of having a dog? Has there always been someone else to take care of the dog when he is out or on holiday?

When my dog was a puppy he owned me, he is a lovely dog now, though he still takes a lot of my time and energy. He is well trained which took a lot of hard work and dedication, but he can still be a handful. I work from home so had time to put the effort in. He costs the price of a small mortgage with food, insurance, vet bills, dog walker, dog sitting, etc.

You both need to want this, as by default some of the work and cost will fall to you. Would your lifestyle accommodate a dog?

You both work full time.

Utterly cruel to get a puppy or even an older dog.

I never wanted a dog in the first place, my children talked me into it. Obviously I am now the person who does the bulk of walking. I have to say I see more sunshine now than I use to. There are plenty of downsides though

I've got dogs that others in the house like well enough but they're my responsibility for all walking and care and I chose to have them.
I'll sometimes ask my husband to take them out which he enjoys occasionally but he wouldn't want to do twice a day, every day.
I work shifts which means they've been out for a couple of good walks before I leave and someone is home soon after to keep them company/ let them play in the garden/ feed. If I'm on an early shift the dog walker costs are mine alone and I give up quite a lot to afford it. I don't go on holiday, for example.
Will he stick to being responsible for all dog care? I find it easy as I love being out walking with them as much as possible, it's the best part of my day!

He works shifts? Does he really want to come home after work to clean up pee/poo/buy new shoes because puppy has chwed through some
most random objects while bored/teething? What to do you on holidays puppy will either add to the cost with the kennel or limit where you can stay if you holiday in the UK.

As a compromise I would consider an adult dog from a rescue centre. If the adoption doesn't work out, there is a way out. If you husband is desperate for a dog it would be unreasonable not to come to a compromise. You will have to feign interest when dealing with rescue centres. They are quite choosy. If you go down that route make sure the dog is at least 1 year old and has short fur

If even one person has doubts you don’t get a dog. No further discussion needed.

Good, yes, stick to your guns. No-one should expect a partner to accept a dog in their home if they aren't fully keen. It has to be a joint pleasure.

I totally miss my dogs. I lost them over 10 years ago. But the freedom i now have! Able to go where I want when I want, no rushing home, holidays abroad (we never put ours in a kennel as they would have hated it). Not to say my doggie brain doesn’t go to mush when I say a puppy but my lifestyle doesn’t work for one sadly.

No YANBU, a dog needs to be wanted by everyone. I've taken on a 4 year boy this year alongside my two 13 + yr old girls, and he's a joy but it still takes work. Stick to your guns until/unless you're all on the same page.

I love my dog but would I ever have a puppy again? Nope. He’s 3 and a delight but it’s taken hard work to get here.

We both work full time, he works shifts.

Assuming one of you isn't wfh with flexible enough hours to look after the dog, definitely not.

Unless you work from home then no. I got a puppy when I worked 3 days a week, and I paid for doggy daycare every work day. I changed to full time when he was about 2 but did 1 day from home and so then paid 4 days daycare. I now do 2 days in the office and 3 at home, and he now does 3 walks a week with a dog Walker, as even on office days I’m home by 3.30 as I collect my daughter and log back on. Costs of the walk going up to £20 a walk in January, his insurance is £50 as he’s got pre existing conditions (also has been diagnosed this year with glaucoma and is sadly going blind). Holiday care is £35 with his dog Walker and I have to use her as he’s quite anxious, especially now his vision is reducing and she’s great with him. He costs me far more than the kids! We adore him,
can’t imagine life without him but I’m looking at more than £300 a month.

I knew this when I got him, as I wasn’t going to be the kind of dog owner who locks their dog in the kitchen or a crate all day. It’s also so hard going anywhere for long periods of time, without organising someone to care for the dog. I don’t travel as much as I want due to the dog. Don’t do it if your life is easy. But dogs are amazing and my life wouldn’t be the same without him in it. My children adore him, he’s my hot water bottle in bed!

My Dh works shifts, I work full term times, Mon-Fri so it works well for our lot, we use a dog walker a few days a month when we’re both working. We haven’t been away since before covid, tho, one dog was very unwell, then we got puppies and now we’re really reluctant to leave them as the older dog is getting on and I want him at home and comfortable. We have no family nearby to help.

Our house is not very clean despite frequent spot cleaning, the mud sticks to them. The dust is appalling. It’s a really huge commitment, so if you’re not desperate, don’t do it.

We have a Samoyed and they're REALLY floofy - we don't spend that much time hoovering and cleaning - I don't mind bits of floof around though lol 😂 ... personally I'd say no unless he did the work surrounding the dog then you get all the fun stuff lol

We both work from home and have children who are capable of feeding / brushing / supervising in the garden and it is still a great deal of work.

One no means absolute no when it comes to dogs.

Depends on your DH and his ability to pull his weight! I told DH he walks the dog,
Does training and cleans up the crap .. and he does! So alls good in our house - I look after the 3 cats so we have a good compromise. I of course let her out, walk her sometimes and absolutely adore her .. bw he does the hard tasks
With her .. and me with the cats ... it's about compromise and keeping to promises before agreement