Second-hand birthday invite

I'm glad to read you're aware of this because honestly, your kid is 3, I promise there will be a million opportunities to come where you could become offended and it's just worth the hassle never mind inventing things to be offended by!

I think you are seeing something that isn't there. If she knew the person she spoke to knew you it makes sense. You say she went to the trouble to get phone numbers from the others but she must have asked them to get them? Perhaps she hasn't seen you. Your child is invited that's what's important.

Conversation probably went along the lines of.
Do you have it's phone number so I can invite them?
I don't like giving out numbers without checking first. Would you like me to ask?
Yes please (thinking they mean ask to check they can give it)

Later.
I sent the invite to Ok
Thank you (while thinking, I meant ask about the number, oh well too late)

Heard it all now. Jesus.

Glad you are questioning your reaction, because to be annoyed by this, is nuts.

Aww I've had that plenty of times, don't have all nursery mums numbers it's a common thing at our can you forward on if you have there number thing

It's not an invitation to Buckingham palace is it??

I've read your post 4 times OP and still cannot see the issue here.

I think it's lazy but don't find it offensive. I think sometimes parents do anything to make life a bit easier/quicker! She wouldn't have mentioned it if she didn't want you to come xx

I didn't have many numbers for my DC party but I knew someone that did, so I asked for the numbers and messaged the parents myself. OP was a bit miffed that other people don't do this and it was fine for her to ask opinions on this, without being told she's being ridiculous.

But take your son and hope he has a great time with his little friends!

I work with GDPR quite a lot, as I'm sure many people do - even in a non-work context, I'm very cautious about passing on people's numbers or email addresses.
Will normally offer to contact the person and pass on the details of whoever's trying to make contact, even when I know the reason.

You're being silly - she's being perfectly sensible/normal.

I can easily imagine doing what the party mum did and it would never have occurred to me that it could annoy someone. I would have thought it’s better than asking for your number, it can be awkward asking for someone’s number.

Or change the perspective and see that she made an extra effort to invite your son even though she didn’t have your number.

It’s actually very difficult to get other people’s personal information these days. If she’d asked nursery for your number, they’d (rightly) have said no. Arguably, it would have been a bit iffy for your mutual friend to have passed on your number without your say so, so what actually happened was entirely appropriate and correct. You can now reply to the inviting mother - passing on your own details - and all is sorted for the future. Really don’t see the problem here (and I’m someone who’s pretty “hot” on etiquette and that sort of thing!).

Good God, the things some people get offended over on MN never ceases to amaze me! 🤦‍♀️

Get over yourself and give the poor woman a break. She's got enough to deal with, so she rightly sent the invite the easiest way possible.

You’re being ridiculous

If you'd like your son to have friends, I suggest you get over this, reply to the message, say thanks for the invitation, that your son would be delighted to go and your looking forward to meeting her and her little boy.

You're being ridiculous; they are 3yo and your child is idled, be pleased enough and turn up being polite. I would expect the invite has a number on it, so you can reply and say yes DS will come thank you. If not, ask for her number.

I thought this was going to be about an invitation your DC had received because someone else had declined and the name had been crossed out or something like that!

What a weird over reaction. Do people really think like this in real life?

Not lazy or rude in the slightest just practical.

Often the cry on Mumsnet is 'someone gave my number to someone without my permission is this GDPR and who can I complain to?'

Maybe she bumped into the other mother and asked for her number directly then asked her to send the message on. Lots of people are uncomfortable giving out other people's numbers without permission.

It never ceases to amaze me what people will get offended about. When I started reading this I thought it was going to be another ' my child isn't invited despite being his best friend' threads.

You don't know what may be happening in her life, I would be glad of the invite, especially when there are so many post's on here complaining of no invites for their children!

She saw the other mum first, she has x amount of people to contact and asked the other mum to contact you as you may not want your number given out.

Ask if you can have birthday mums number to reply directly.

When you get an invitation in the post, is it second-hand because the postman/woman delivered it? Of course not! This is an electronic equivalent. Your child has been invited, but the message has come via someone else. It’s not a second-hand invitation.