“She doesn’t have friends because she smells”

Just backing up a pp - call the school and ask to speak to someone with responsibility for safeguarding. (Rather than off loading to the receptionist). Well done for noticing and helping this child. Mum might just need a nudge and school will be very used to having this type of conversation in non Judgy way.

This poor child. Sounds like the parents are back street breeders so the kids and the dogs are suffering. I couldn't be friends with someone like that. It's always the kids that suffer. I'd report the poor girl to the school and the dogs to rspca or another agency. My DDs neighbours smoked weed around their little ones. The stink from their house permeated the walls into my DDs house. It was disgusting. Imagine having to live in that plus the extra poor multiple dogs breeding at any given time.

I am not defending this mother in any way. The cost of living crisis is making it so much harder and impossible for some to keep clean at the moment. On a personal level I use a roll on and a spray perimeni sweats. I can only use dove without itching and I can't believe how much it has gone up. I feel shocked and lucky to still be able to afford it. The lack of heat and lack of living space for so many is taking us way back. It's really hard because it's really taking its toll so many more people smell now.

They breed dogs at home, unlicensed I suppose and let them shit in the house and they smoke weed, that is so a case for social services.

I'd probably approach it from a 'my dd overhead some random ch say they thought your DD's clothes smelt of dogs' and see how that goes down. That way neither you nor your dd have 'said it'

If she asks your opinion then say 'I'd imagine you struggle to smell the dogs as you become nose blind to smells you're surrounded by, but if other ch have mentioned it then it'd be worth addressing'

Ooh that’s a tough one. No advice but there was a girl at my school who had literally no friends because she stank so badly. You could see the sweat stains under her pits and her hair looked like it had had grease dropped on it. I honestly don’t know why/how her mum let her out the door looking like it. I saw her many years later in a shopping centre and she looked exactly the same though 🤷‍♀️

I've reported similar more than once, it's not normally an issue for children's social care in my area and isn't acted on.

OP, what you need to realise that it is not your responsibility to determine if there is anything going wrong here. There's no point in wo during and speculating what it could.mean. By reporting it, the issue will be put onto the school recording system (CPOMS or suchlike) and the safeguarding officer will be alerted. It's then up to them to investigate and make the more difficult discernment of what the exact issues are. You have done your bit just by passing on information. I suspect the little girl will already be on their radar, but your information could be a key point in getting help for her. I once passed on some information to school about a child I saw in a situation I didn't think was ideal. A couple of years later, the child went to love with her dad instead of her mum. It wasn't that what I said would have caused this to happen.. however, it may have been part of an overall picture that contributed to supporting the mum and then ultimately making thengirl safe elsewhere. Trust your gut, pass on the info and let the experts do their job with all the information they have and the fullest picture possible.

I’ve reported a child’s coat stinking of weed so much that we had to hang it outside. Social services and the police don’t care about weed.

You've had lots of other advice but I'd be stepping bac from your friend as I just couldn't deal with a pot smoking dog breeder who is not dealing with the root issue. She cant not smell it. Doesnt she smell as well? If not I think that tells you everything, that she can be bothered to keep herself clean but not her child and everything else is everyone else's fault.

I think the girl probably is being bullied about how she smells.

I don't know if she would realise she smells.

I feel really sorry for her but I also get that being smelly or unhygienic (I note you say she's otherwise well-presented, though) can be a barrier to making friends - no good pretending any different.

I do find smelly people off-putting, I've got to admit that. It wouldn't stop me being kind and courteous to someone, but it would be a barrier to becoming a close friend. I like my friends to be self-aware - OK, I'm an adult, so it's slightly different.

I feel sorry for this girl and I hope something changes for her soon, but it may need to come from her if her parents are living in some kind of world of their own. I find it so hard to be sympathetic to parents who lay their children open to bullying through doziness/neglect etc. If she's an older child she could perhaps take charge of her own laundry?? Lots of teenagers do.

I can’t believe some people are saying do nothing.

an 11 year old child is going to school smelling of weed ffs how can you just ignore that?

This is one of the few scenarios where I would consider sending an anonymous letter or just signing it with an illegible single name signature.

I'd just say, 'This is difficult to write and I don't know you well enough to approach you face to face. But I do know your child is absolutely lovely and is being ostracised for a reason she can't control without your help. You may not be aware of it, but she has an overpowering odour of dog and urine on her clothes and it prevents other children from wanting to mix with her. This is unfair on her as she has no responsibility over the level of hygiene in her home. From what I know of you, you are lovely and competent and I'm sure you could make this issue vanish overnight and would want to. If my child were in a similar predicament, I'd want to know so I hope you take this in the spirit intended.

I agree talk to the school is best option

Op she is 11, she is being bullied, regardless of what it's for, if it's because she smells then that is the reason !! She is probably aggressive as a coping method for god sake . Poor kid . I'd chat to the mam , I'd be willing to take the hit of the friendship if I thought it might help this child and maybe the mother might be more aware !

I've a dog myself who in her breed is quite stinky no matter how much we wash her and I'm really conscious of our house becoming that "stinky " house and afraid we won't smell it ! It's a case of cleaning and hoovering all the time unfortunately

The school is the obvious place to go to with this if you you don’t feel comfortable approaching it with the mother directly.

I’ve had dogs all my life and there is no reason you should smell of urine, even with a puppy or an elderly incontinent dog.

Why haven't her teachers noticed the smell?

If you open your trap and tell the mother you are going to make the mother feel embarrassed and then angry and she may accuse you of looking down on her and her family.

Oh this is so awful and sign of child neglect. Please tell the school.

You speak to the school, they must be noticing it as well.

It sounds like her clothes are not being dried properly, I've noticed it more recently with COL that some people have that fusty/urine smell about them and think it is because they are not heat drying their clothes.
The dogs and weed are a separate issue.
If the dogs and the home they live in is being cared for properly they shouldn't create such an offensive smell. A slight doggy odour maybe but nothing noticeable on the school bus!
The weed is just an absolute no no though, health issues or not I don't know what this woman thinks she's playing at. Irresponsible and selfish. She should be using prescription medication appropriate for her condition and monitored by her GP like the majority of decent parents.
It sounds like the mum has given up and would rather chill out with her 'medicinal' weed than actually put any effort into caring for her child.
I would mention it to school and also ring the NSPCC for advice.

So explain this to me. Children aren't allowed to chose their friends but must include everybody because not doing so is bullying? Children must be wecoming to aggressive people who smell bad whereas adults are OK to avoid them?

Clearly this child needs help because they are being neglected. So much easier to tell the kids to "be kind" than to insist that adults actually are kind and look out for her.

I’d go with the school social services. The mother/father? Clearly are not coping if their child manages to smell of dog, wee, weed and mould.

She/they likely need Whole deep clean of the house and to not have so many/any dogs if they cannot keep on top it it all. Sometimes a kick up the arse can help and sometimes people are sadly too far gone to help but at least get it flagged up as much as possible.

If washing isn't drying quickly it stinks of mould/damp cooking smoking dogs whatever is happening where the washing is drying. Some dogs really stink. I used to clean for someone with beautiful oak sealed floors and White Company reed diffusers but the house still stunk of big fat chocolate Labrador.

If this woman is making her money for her weed through dog breeding no wonder things smell.