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Original poster

Poo emergency

157 replies

Whattttttttttdoido · 04/11/2023 06:43

Posting here for traffic as I'm desperate and don't know what to do.

Went out last night with my friend, 3 other women and my friends boyfriend. We have all crashed at her boyfriends house who I don't know well and who has 3 house mates (2 men and a woman).

I can feel what is sure to be REALLY FUCKING BAD DIARRHOEA bubbling around my stomach. I tried to sneak a fart out and a bit of liquid came out. I went to the loo and cleaned myself up, and while I was there noticed there is no toilet roll.

The bathroom is between 2 bedrooms of house mates that I do not know. The house is in complete silence.

Wtf do I do in this situation? I want to cry I have considered just leaving the house but I have no idea where I'd even go I'm not familiar with this area at all.

Please help!

OP posts:
RJ2023 · 04/11/2023 16:41

I don't want to derail the thread (I am happy to take this to PM) - but do you remember the The Crown around the back of the Physics department? Such good food! And a pub called "The Frog & Frigate" where a guy played the acoustic guitar all night? Normally finishing with American Pie? As I say - don't want to derail the thread! :)

CantFindTheBeat · 04/11/2023 16:38

@willWillSmithsmith

I'm so glad it might help. It's honestly a game changer.

No idea how it works, but the many women I've recommended it too are also now using the work loos with abandon!

Timeturnerplease · 04/11/2023 16:37

‘Blow up the toilet like he owned the place’ might be the best thing I’ve read on MN recently.

Flipdiddle · 04/11/2023 16:34

RJ2023 · 04/11/2023 16:30

I was in Montefiore halls in 1998/99. It was about 20 people on a floor sharing toilets and showers. Nobody wanted to end up in Stoneham tower! I think Chamberlain halls were the really nice ones. :)

You think wrong

20 to a floor. Mixed. Shared toilets and showers.

but…. The best hall!

Generally though - Southampton university…. Loved my course but 🤷‍♀️ not the best place to be in the late nineties!

RJ2023 · 04/11/2023 16:30

I was in Montefiore halls in 1998/99. It was about 20 people on a floor sharing toilets and showers. Nobody wanted to end up in Stoneham tower! I think Chamberlain halls were the really nice ones. :)

SplendidUtterly · 04/11/2023 16:29

Flipdiddle · 04/11/2023 16:20

That sounds utterly horrific

I think I heard about you. Assumed it was an urban legend

Same 😮

SplendidUtterly · 04/11/2023 16:28

What's with all the poo emergency posts on MN lately? 😂

ChocolateCinderToffee · 04/11/2023 16:26

I have got a friend who has IBS and every time she comes to stay, steals a loo roll for her (long) journey home. I don’t mind but she doesn’t ask. Next time I’m going to gift wrap one for her.

Flipdiddle · 04/11/2023 16:20

Joke!! 😂

Flipdiddle · 04/11/2023 16:20

That sounds utterly horrific

I think I heard about you. Assumed it was an urban legend

Flipdiddle · 04/11/2023 16:19

I was also there in 98. . First year

Flipdiddle · 04/11/2023 16:19

Oh sorry just seen!

Flipdiddle · 04/11/2023 16:18

RJ2023 · 04/11/2023 16:13

If it makes you feel any better - in 1998 I went to Southampton University and had no idea how to cook.

Looking back on it, washing a chopping board covered in raw chicken and then using the same water to wash the plate I ate off wasn't the best idea...

The next day: Top floor of the Maths building on the Highfield campus at 9am I had to sprint out of a lecture, and poo'd myself continuously as a ran down the stairs... :(

It was and remains the worst moment of my life.

I then had a 20 minute walk back to my halls (Montefiore House for anyone that knows Southampton Uni) - but then had to go back to pick up my bag that I had left in the classroom in my panic.

I suffered from IBS for years after this issue. :(

What halls?! I was in chamberlain

Soffii87 · 04/11/2023 16:16

I work in a prison and there are so many locked doors!! Sudden diarrhoea is one of my biggest fears - I would never make it through all the locked doors in time (have to lock them all behind me too). And there are cameras. Everywhere…
I never eat anything spicy the night before work haha
glad you got your loo roll OP!

RJ2023 · 04/11/2023 16:13

If it makes you feel any better - in 1998 I went to Southampton University and had no idea how to cook.

Looking back on it, washing a chopping board covered in raw chicken and then using the same water to wash the plate I ate off wasn't the best idea...

The next day: Top floor of the Maths building on the Highfield campus at 9am I had to sprint out of a lecture, and poo'd myself continuously as a ran down the stairs... :(

It was and remains the worst moment of my life.

I then had a 20 minute walk back to my halls (Montefiore House for anyone that knows Southampton Uni) - but then had to go back to pick up my bag that I had left in the classroom in my panic.

I suffered from IBS for years after this issue. :(

uncomfortablydumb53 · 04/11/2023 16:12

Sorry missed one of your posts
Glad you're sorted

uncomfortablydumb53 · 04/11/2023 16:10

You can't risk going out
How far from home are you
Have a look in the kitchen and see if you can find kitchen roll
You need to just go and wash up when you're done
Dry with your pants if necessary or see if there's any baby/ face wipes

TheCadoganArms · 04/11/2023 15:57

Any pets in the house? Shit on the floor next to the dog and then casually tell the hosts Fido has has an accident.

Original poster
Whattttttttttdoido · 04/11/2023 15:50

@FatherJackHackettsUnderpantsHamper

That really made me laugh 🤣🤣

OP posts:
FatherJackHackettsUnderpantsHamper · 04/11/2023 15:04

Get a Tesco whoosh or deliveroo grocery delivery

Not that it can be helped, but, if I were one of their drivers, I'd be a bit reluctant as to what I might be met with to be delivering an order consisting of nothing but a large pack of bog rolls!

Mumeries · 04/11/2023 14:28

Get a Tesco whoosh or deliveroo grocery delivery

JosieGrossie · 04/11/2023 14:27

Late to the thread but glad you are sorted now. It's horrible being unwell in a strange place. I carry a pack of tissues and some wet wipes whenever I go out (long term IBS sufferer) but have been caught out so many times. Hope you're feeling better soon 💐

PrincessHoneysuckle · 04/11/2023 14:22

Just seen update

PrincessHoneysuckle · 04/11/2023 14:21

As someone who has actually shit herself before(ibs)
Get in.the shower

Original poster
Whattttttttttdoido · 04/11/2023 13:52

I wouldn't have imagined that a thread about my diarrhoea would open me up to snarky comments about my age and the type of night out I might choose to have. Actually hilarious.

Immodium is also a great idea. This has NEVER happened to me before in quite this fashion so I was not prepared at all. This will be the story that means I now always will be 😅

OP posts:
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